How to Save A Life
by Zaviarah
Summary: After an unexpected meeting and a wonderful spontaneous weekend together, reality hits Anastasia hard. She found a reason to hope but will hope be enough to save her? Will Christian find her in time? Or will it be too late? AU, Slightly OOC, and HEA. Rated T for somewhat mature subject matter. COMPLETE
1. Pilot

**_Disclaimer: All rights to the basis of the original characters of FSOG belong to E. L. James. No copyright infringement intended! This is a standing disclaimer for the remainder of this story._**

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 _Prologue - Hometown Glory (Adele)_

 _"I ain't lost, just wandering"_

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This can't possibly be happening. I just start my life and now…. _this?_

Now it feels real. Before it was all talk - 'should's' and 'what-ifs' but now it's all so real. Just a few more days of freedom..

I'm not sure how long I have been walking but I just walked. I've been through some things in life that have really taken a toll on me but nothing could have ever prepared me for this…

It's been two hours since I left the hospital and somehow I've made it here. This is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to but a piece of me died at that hospital. I find myself at the beach. It's a dreary September day. _Dreary.._ yes. That's the appropriate word for how I'm feeling right now. It's been two hours since I left the hospital and somehow I've made it here but it doesn't feel the same. It feels like this is the last time I will ever see this place and with that thought I completely break down - fall to my knees and just sob.

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 **A/N: This is just the beginning of an idea I have conjured up in my mind. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!**

 **-Ari**


	2. Royals

**A/N: All chapters and their meanings are based off of a playlist of songs I have created so there will be plenty of chapters as there are plenty of songs!**

 **Happy Reading!**

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 _Chapter 1 - Royals (Lorde)_

 _"Let me live that fantasy.._ _"_

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I never thought my week would start off like this. You hear about things like this happening to other people but you never think it's going to happen to you. You try to will it away and make sure that it will never happen but I guess there are some things you can't always control. With that thought, I slowly pull myself together. I don't know what will happen to me but I know I will take control of whatever I can and right now, that includes going home, dressing up, and having a night on the town.

I'm not really familiar with the boutiques here in Seattle since I just moved here so I go for Neiman Marcus. I know that they have a lot of fancy clothes in there.

I look around for a bit and find some flowery prints and color-block patterns. A almost give up on my silly plan until I see it.. The perfect dress! It's so simple yet elegant, midnight blue, long… just wow!

I try the dress on without even looking at the price since I know that it is not often I spend my money and the price may scare me way. To my utter shock and complete surprise, it fits absolutely perfectly. I step out to the get a good look at myself in the three-way mirror. _Wow!_ I look amazing, which is definitely not something I would say on a regular basis.

"You look amazing! Special occasion?"

I turn around to see this young woman with really dark, almost black hair cut in a stylish bob. Her jaw has dropped to the floor and excitement is dancing in her eyes. " _Special occasion?" …_ I toy with those words. "Not really."

"So you're just going to buy a 3 thousand dollar Adam Lippes dress, just because?"

 _Not exactly..._ But she doesn't need to know all the details. "Looks like I am."

"Oh! I know the perfect accessory to go with that!" she runs off and all I can do is look after her.

She comes back with small waist belt with diamond flower-pattern buckle. She puts it on and again I have to admit I look amazing! I smile shaking my head. "Thank you. This almost completes the look."

"No problem! I wish I could stay but my bossy brother has me on a strict schedule today. You look phenomenal." she starts to walk away. "You know.." she says slowly looking back towards me with a smile "my parents are having this charity masquerade ball tonight. I helped my mom organize it and I could fit you in.. if you want to come?"

I think it over for a second but it doesn't take long to come up with a decision. When will I ever again be invited to some swanky gala? "That sounds perfect!"

" Great! Here's the address and my phone number so call if anything should come up" she practically jumps up an down with excitement. "Okay I really have to go now before my brother blows a gasket!" she says walking towards the door. "I'm Mia by the way!" she yells half out the door.

This is definitely not the turn in events I was expecting when I walked out of the hospital a few hours ago but I know not that I have to take every chance I can get.

I slip out of the gown and belt before waving over one of the sales reps. I tried to convince myself otherwise but I am way out of my realm here.

"Hello, I'm Caroline Acton. What can I help you with today?"

"Well I found this dress and belt for a masquerade event i'm going to tonight but I need help finishing off the look."

"Well you've come to the right person!" She quickly finds a matching bracelet and earring set. The earrings are drop diamonds and the bracelet is a simple diamond cuff. Then she finds some simple shoes. The heel is high for me but thankfully there's a large ankle cuff that should help me walk in them and the color perfect matches the dress.

"It's all perfect! Thank you so much Caroline."

"Do you need help with anything else today Miss?"

"Uhm.. yeah I need a salon and spa. Do you recommend any?"

"Of course, you can go to the one I frequent. It's not too far away.. walking distance in fact. If you give me your address I can send these, and your mask, over to your place and you can go straight there. Just mention my name and I'll tell them you are coming."

"Wow! Thank you so much that would be wonderful!" I pay for the purchases and give her my address and we talk a bit about the Pike Place area as she mentioned she wants to move near there.

I make my way out and can't help but turn around and give her a hug. "Thank you. I have had a really crappy day and I really needed this.." I say getting a little emotional. She hesitates to return my hug but as if she senses I need it, she holds on to me tight.

"Here's my card. It had my personal number on it. Call if you need anything." She say sincerely.

"I will. Thank you."

"No problem... Wait, I need a name for the shipment!"

"Ana."

"I look forward to seeing you again."

I smile but look down sadly. I'm not sure how to respond so I just look up at her with a tight smile and walk to the salon.

I have already had my nails and toes done. Nothing fancy, just a nice buffing and clear coat since I really hate the process of taking nail polish off. I figure with a clear coat it won't be so obvious and I can just ignore it a bit. I have no idea what I want to do to my hair however.

"So darling, what do you want to do to this lovely mane of yours?" my assigned hairdresser, Franco asks in what I'm sure is a fake over-Italian accent.

It doesn't really matter.. at least it wont in a few weeks I guess. "I'm not sure. I wan't something different. I want to feel like a million bucks tonight. I trust you."

"Darling, when I'm done with you, you will feel like a _billion_ big ones!" he says while washing my hair. I relish this feeling and burn it in to my memory.

When he's done I realize he wasn't joking, I feel like a different person. Someone came over and did my makeup. It's light and simple but I feel like I look so different. My hair has this 60s feel to it. He used a large barrel so the hair has a curl and wave to it along with a bounce! I look and feel like a completely different person and I have to say I love it. _And it's so shiny!_

I head home with a new found confidence. I remember that Kate is spending the week with her family to get everything situated for the her stay. She got an internship with thee New York Post. She's so excited to be starting her career and not have to rely on her dad's company. I have no idea how, if I even am, going to tell her.. I don't want to screw up this opportunity for her.

I push thoughts of _that/this.._ away for the night. I wash quickly and carefully, not to ruin anything done so far, before slipping in to one of my good lingerie sets. Kate always insisted I have some 'just in case' and now I am happy she insisted because I forgot about undergarments in thinking of everything else for tonight. I slip on the lace bra and thong set before slipping on the matching garter and thigh high stockings. Once I slip on my dress I am happy so see that I made the right decisions. Not only do I look great all put together but you can't even see and panty lines giving it an overall slim and elegant look. I slip on my mask and head downstairs slowly as I'm still getting used to the heels. _Gratefully, they're not as bad as I thought they would be to walk in._

 _'_ _It's a beautiful night'_ I think to myself as I am whisked away in the sleek _and expensive_ car I rented for the night.

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 **A/N: I think this story will greatly benefit from visuals so, once I figure it out.. I will be creating a pinterest board.**

 **Thank you for your continuing support. Reviews, suggestions, comments, PM's, etc. are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!**

 **-Ari**


	3. Beyond the Sea

_Chapter 2 - Beyond the Sea (Bobby Darin)_

 _"It's far beyond the stars_

 _It's near beyond the moon_

 _I know beyond a doubt_

 _My heart will lead me there soon"_

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 **Ana POV**

My driver opens my door for me and I am planted to my spot. I expected to pull up to some fancy hotel but this looks like a decked out mansion. It's a beautiful home and right on the water. There is a red carpet which I'm nervous to walk on.. mostly because I don't want to trip and fall making a complete fool of myself. But for tonight.. fear doesn't.. _won't_ exist in my mind. I won't let it. I put on my most confident and impassive face possible and strut down the carpet posing for a few pictures when the photographers ask. I feel like I'm living another life as some famous movie star. _But you're still just you._

To my astonishment, the inside is even more beautiful than it was on the outside. On the short journey through the house to the backyard you really get the sense that this is a family home: it's so warm and inviting.

Once I see the marquee I am completely taken back. This looks like the set of a high budget movie or a party for the royal family. I never thought I would have to opportunity to be in a place like this and I plan on soaking up as much of this experience as possible!

There's a large stage where there's a band setting up. The appetizers are being served buffet style on what looks like a mile wide. There are 12 large circular tables draped with black satin cloths. Each table can easily sit up to 12 people if they wanted.

I am greeted by a server. "Hello ma'am. Do you need assistance finding your seat?" _Do I really look that lost?_

"Yes, please. Uhm a woman named Mia invited me. It was a last minute invitation so I-"

At the mention of Mia's name, the server perks up. "Yes! Mia's guest. Right this way."

He leads me to a table in the middle of the impressive set up. From the table you get every angle. So far I'm the only I seated at the table. I take a sip of my water before I am approached.

"Hey! I knew that was you, I remember the dress, I'm so glad you came! It would suck to have an empty seat just because the guy that I was going to bring as my date was a total ass. It would have been really ackward to have that seat empty. What is your name by the way? Can't just introduce you as the girl from Neiman's." Mia says, each word faster and more high pitched than the last.

"Ana" I say a little overwhelmed.

"Great, Ana! Come I have some people I would like you to meet."

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 **Christian POV**

I walk in to the gala late, _as usual._ The only reason I bother is because my mother and sister wouldn't let me live it down if I didn't.

As soon as I reach the backyard Mia comes barreling towards me. "Hi Christian! I'm so glad you came."

"Of course I came Mia."

"Yeah, practically against your will." she says rolling her eyes.

"But I'm here." feeling a little exasperated.

"Okay..okay... Come, my friends-"

"Mia, I really have no interest in talking to your frien-"

"Yeah, but I met this girl-"

"Come on you two. It's time to get started." My mother, Grace, ushers myself and Mia over to our table.

I greet the rest of my family - shake hands with Carrick and Elliot. Give my mother a kiss on the cheek. We all sit down and I notice that there is an empty seat across from me.. next to Mia. I was going to comment but Elliot beat me to it..

"Where's your date sis? Too scared to face your big brothers?" Elliot jokes.

"I don't know what his problem was but I found someone else to accompany me."

"Wow, you have that long of a line of boys lining up?"

"Ha ha, very funny. Actually-"

"Would you two stop it. I'm sure whoever he is, he is a fine young gentleman if Mia likes him." My mother says trying to disarm the situation a little bit. I decide to check messages on my phone and just hang back, as usual. I'm never really a part of these conversations anyway so it's nothing new and as dinner has yet to start hopefully the 'no phones at the dinner table' rule doesn't quite apply yet.

"Yeah, because Mia always brings hon-"

"Sorry I'm late. I had to use the restroom and then it took a little to find the table." I hear a woman say before sitting.

"Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to our annual charity ball. I hope that you enjoy what we have laid out for you tonight and that you'll dig deep into your pockets to support the fantastic work that our team does with Coping Together. As you know, it's a cause that is very close to my wife's heart, and mine. I'll hand you over now to to our master of ceremonies. Please, enjoy" My father, Carrick announces from the stage as we all look on.

Everyone gives polite applause as he exits the stage. I finally look across from me to see who Mia has bought with her and I can't help but gasp. She's beautiful...

"Wow, Mia playing for the other team?" Elliot quips getting stares from everyone at the table including Grandma and Grandpa.

"No! This is Ana. My date ditched me but I met Ana in a store when she was buying her dress and she agreed to come with me."

"Oh, well that's sweet of you Ana. I'm Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey, Mia's mother and this is my husband Carrick."

"It's nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Grey. Is this your home?"

"Yes, it is. We like to host our charity events here to try to get people to warm up and it's a lot easier than finding a venue."

"I'm sure this place is a lot better than any venue. You have a lovely home."

"Well thank you Ana. My wife is quite amazing." My dad says looking lovingly at my mother. She's managed to win over my parents I see. This girl is something else.

"And these are my grandparents Theodore and Margaret Trevelyan, and my older brothers Elliot and Christian." Mia says.

"It's nice to meet all of you." Ana says sounding overwhelmed.

Dinner goes by quickly and uninterestingly. Ana only speaks up when something is addressed to her, keeping her head down. By the time the last of our five course meal is taken she looks tired, nearly dozing off a few times.

The regular auctioned off items are done with. These people spend large amounts of money; simple things that would cost a few hundred dollars are auction off for thousands - all in the good name of charity and it's not like we can't afford it.

"Ana! Would you help with the auction please?" Mia asks. Ana perks up as soon as she is talked to, nothing like the woman I saw just a few seconds ago.

"Okay, sure."

Mia squeals and nearly drags Ana to the stage. Based on Ana's embarrassed flush and wide eyes I don't think she knew what she was really agreeing to until the master of ceremonies started to talk about the first candidate and she was handed off to a gentleman for a few hundred dollars.

The girls are auctioned off one by one until it is Ana's turn. "Ana is a five star chef who has travelled the world cooking for the elite. She speaks seven different languages and is therefore very flexible." the auctioneer says dripping with innuendo trying to sell her at a high price. Her face turns even more red.

"300" one guy in front says.

"600" another pipes up.

"2000" someone says from the back.

She looks across the room at where the bids are coming from and looks absolutely terrified as the numbers continue to rise.

"50000" there is a collective gasp from everyone in the room including Ana who for the first time looks at me. Our eyes meet and… _wow_ … just wow. I don't know what I feel in this moment but it feels good… and scary. My brow furrows at the thought.

"50000 going once..twice..sold!" The auctioneer says and the room erupts with clapping and hushed chatter. I make my way up to the stage and take her hand to help her down. The moment our hands meet I feel a pulse of electricity go through me. I think she feels it to because I hear her gasp as I swallow hard.

We wait for the rest of the women to be auctioned off and stand to the side. Our hands are still intertwined and I can't help but look at them bemused. When I look up at her her head is still down. All I want to do is look in to those beautiful eyes closer.

All of the women have been accounted for and it is time to dance. She looks up at me and is nervously biting her lip. I want to do that.. _whoa. Where did that come from._ I shake my head to clear myself of those thoughts. Then I realize we actually have to dance. Having her, or anyone, that close to me ant touching me…..

She must sense my apprehension because she simply says, "We don't have to dance if you don't want to."

I think about it for a second but for some reason, I really do want to dance with her. I want to be close to her… _What the Hell is happening to me?_

I pull her on the the dance floor and we assume the regular position. I take her hands in mine keeping hold of her left and allowing her right to rest on my shoulder as mine rests on her tiny waist. The burst of energy I felt when it was just our hands has tripled at least and I can feel my entire body humming. She looks at me with wide eyes for a quick second before looking just passed my face. I hope she's doing so because she was as mesmerized as I am.

We glide aimlessly across the floor to the band doing the orchestrations from Bobby Darin's _Beyond the Sea._

The song comes to an end and I notice that she is pressed up against me, head resting on my chest and my head in leaning on here, both our eyes closed. Panic takes over and I immediately tense. She takes a step back as fast as she can, gives a little curtsy and walks away.

I was waiting for the pain, burning, and smell to come to me but it didn't. _It didn't._

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 **A/N:**

 **Pinterest: pinterest /FanficAri/how-to-save-a-life-fanfic/**

 **Thanks for the responses so far everyone. Without giving too much away, I will tell everyone now that this story will involve hospitals, hard times, heart ache and drama. Currently due to my love for these characters I do not have a character death lined up and there will be a HEA. It might be a long road but we will get there in the end.**

 **Because this subject is a little touchy for some people I respect if you cannot continue to read and I thank you for reading as far as you can go.**

 **Also, please feel free to PM, review, comment, etc. I love to hear everyones opinion, input and criticism (as long as it is constructive).**

 **Happy Reading!**

 **-Ari.**

 ** _Special thanks to_ AnonymousGirlOne and a Guest _for helping me remember Theo's name._**


	4. Fly With Me

_Chapter 3 - Fly With Me (Jonas Brothers)_

 _"_ _If time_

 _Were still_

 _The sun_

 _Would never, never find us"_

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I have no idea what just happened. I look around and see people staring at me, probably because I'm on the dance floor all alone looking in to nothing. _Where did she go?_ I don't really fully comprehend what just happened and I'm not sure that I want to know why her touch didn't make me want to run for the hills or break down...

Nope, I have to find her. _But don't look like you're trying to!_ People here, especially my family, are a little too nosy for my liking and I can already see everyone but gramps, grandpa, and Mia eyeing me skeptically. I need to get a handle on the situation before other people start jumping in.

I take off as casually as possibly towards the luxury porta potties. Ana took of in the other direction and I'm trying to lead anyone looking my way off my tail. I don't go in but make a circle around them slow enough so it looks like I may have actually used the restroom.

I make my way to the valet next; it makes no sense to continue looking for her here if she's left already.

I describe Ana but the valet say he believes she had a service and didn't require valet but he hasn't seen anyone leave recently. I look around the main floor of the house in case she decided to look around or wander.. Nothing.

I walk to the door leading outside and watch as everyone starts to go towards the beach for the fireworks display. _I guess I have been looking for her for some time._ I am just about to give up and even consider calling Mia until I see someone sitting alone dock with their feet in the water and low and behold it's her.. _My Ana_.

She must sense me coming because she casually gets up with her shoes in her hand, wet feet on wood, and slowly turns towards me.

The fireworks start to go off but we do not break each others gaze. There are a flicker of emotions in her eyes - none of which I can fully grasp.

I look around and notice that neither Taylor or his security are around right now, probably focusing on the large mass of people on the beach and trying to find me. This may be the only chance I get to be alone with my girl so I take it.

I charge toward her enveloping her in a bone crushing hug and lifting her off the floor. i have never been this close to anyone before and it feels.. fucking amazing. This is nothing like other times people have touched me. She is shocked for a second but then comes around wrapping her arms around my neck and nuzzling her face against my neck.

I let her down and look in her eyes basically pleading and say "come with me."

She looks decisive for a split second while a frown graves her beautiful face but quickly recovers with one of the biggest and brightest smiles I have ever seen.

I glance around again quickly, grab her hand and dash for the secret escape route on the side of the house that I remember from when I was a teenager. I am looking for a way to get my car but my thoughts are quickly cut short by the adorable minx next to me.

"My driver is already here" she says as she tilts her head toward the awaiting vehicle.

We make a mad dash for it and as soon as we drive off I can't help but bust in to laughter, real laughter, belly laughter and Ana does the same.

"I feel like I was in a James Bond movie or running from the cops" she laughs wiping tears from her eyes.

"That was definitely the most fun I have had in a long time" I say once my laughter dies down a bit.

"Where to Miss?" The driver says looking greatly confused.

"Can you take us to a car rental place?" I ask earning a quizzical look from Ana.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Let's get away from life for the rest of the weekend?"

A small smile and simply said "That sounds perfect."

"Change of plans. We need to stop by my bank and then to the airport." I announce to the driver.

"The airport?"

"It's a surprise."

I call ahead to her bank to make sure I can get in and get out. Once back in the car Ana looks deep in thought. I decide to make let her think and make a few more calls in the car as discreetly as I can to not give away where we are going. I email a family friend who manages a few villas. He send me a list and I find the perfect place. Once I do that I call the airport to make sure that the plane is ready. I email Ros to tell her that I won't be available for the remainder of the weekend and shoot off a text to Taylor ' _going away for the weekend. won't be in need of security. I'll let you know when I plan to be back.'_

I realize that he probably has Welch tracking my phone now so I make a quick decision to buy a disposable. I notice that Ana has fallen asleep so I just ask the driver to stop in a gas station while I grab one along with a few other things that should help along the journey - a cap, sunglasses, bag of chips, gum, etc.

I go back in the car and we continue to make our way to Sea-Tac. I gently nudge Ana to wake her up but she doesn't budge. _She must have been really exhausted.._ I carry her to the plane and buckle her in reclining her seat a bit. There's a slight frown on her face so I kiss the little 'v' it makes between her eyebrows and it disappears.

Once finally in the air on our 2.5 hour flight my lack of sleep catches up to me as well and I find myself drifting on the seat beside her.

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 **A/N: Thanks for the responses and thanks for reading!** ** _Please Review, comment, etc._**


	5. Some Nights

**A/N: You might want to check out the pinterest board to get visuals before reading this particular chapter.**

 **Happy Reading!**

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 _Chapter 4 - Some Nights (Fun.)_

 _"_ _Man you wouldn't believe,_

 _the most amazing things,_

 _that can come from,_

 _Some terrible nights"_

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 **APOV**

"Excuse me, Miss. The plane will be landing shortly and I need you to sit you chair up." The woman who I assume is the flight attendant says. She straightens up and then goes to wake up Christian- _I_ _don't think so!_

"Don't worry about him. I'll wake him up." I purr.

"I would love to wake up to that voice forever" Christian says while stretching then resting his arm on my shoulders. The attendant, Marie, walks away with a huff.

"So.. are you going to tell me where we're going now?"

"Wouldn't you love to know?" He asks teasingly.

"Please." I give him my best puppy dog face, pouty lip and all.

Just as he looks like he is giving in and about to open his mouth the pilot announces ' _We have been cleared for landing and should be touching down in a few minutes. The time is 12:42am. It's looking like a high 71 and clear sunny skies once the sun wakes up. Thank you for flying with me and enjoy your stay here in Los Angeles.'_

"LA? California? Oh my God Christian!" I practically scream with excitement.

"Calm down. Actually we're staying in Malibu, but yes, we're in California."

"Calm down? I've never been to California! I've always wanted to just come here and relax on the beach. Thank you" I give him as much of a hug as I can seeing that we are both confined by our seat belts.

Once we land I thank and shake the pilot Andrew's, or as he likes to be called Andie, hand and give as polite a nod as I can to Marie. I carefully go down the stairs and on to the tarmac. When I look back I see Christian having, what seems to be a serious, talk with Andie. He looks confused but nods his head in order to show understanding with whatever he was just told.

Christian comes and takes my hand and leads me toward a silver Saab. _He's holding my hand._ It looks sleek and expensive but without majorly standing out. We get in and I start to realize what has happened over the past few hours.

"Christian we have no clothes, no nothing. I don't even have my phone - I left my purse on my chair before the auction. And you.. you're like famous and rich. People will be looking for you! For us!"

"Calm down! I know people will be looking for me which is why I have a solution that will also help with both issues." I keep looking at him waiting for him to continue. "I know my security will be looking for me but I have alerted my main man that I will not be in contact for the weekend. And just in case he didn't take the hint, I switched off my phone and got a disposable. I have all important numbers in there in case of an emergency and my email is connected. My number 2 at GEH, Ros, can handle everything for one weekend, especially since it's the weekend and a lot of people don't go in on the weekends. My family shouldn't expect anything as I usually leave events like that the first chance I get. I went to the bank and got some money. And… I'll change my usual style, wear a cap and shades. I doubt anyone here will recognize me here; I'm not that famous." he chuckles.

I stare at him "You really have thought of everything haven't you?"

"Yes, now lets go get something to sleep in. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, a little."

"Great! Look around and if you see a place you want to go to, let me know. I'm gonna go through the strip so hopefully we can find some place to get some clothes."

After driving for some time and looking around I see a place that catches my eye. "What about over there? Dough Pizzeria & Bar. It says they're open late!"

"Sounds good. I'll find some place to park."

We park the car and start to walk towards the door. It's a little nippy out and I hug my arms. Almost immediately Christian comes and wraps his arms around me, waddling behind me. I'm warm now and also tingly. Being near Christian does weird things to me.

We find seats at the bar and get our order taken. ' _I can venture away from my diet a little'_ I think to myself. I order some spicy wings while Christian orders some Beer Battered Shrimp. We don't really talk that much, just devour our food, picking off of each others plates occasionally. _It all seems so normal._ As I look around I can't help but start to to giggle and laugh. Christian of course looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Look at us." He looks like perfection but I know I must look a mess. My hair has probably turned frizzy, my makeup smeared, and I know my dress is unbelievably wrinkled. "And look around us." The people here are a mix of drunk people trying to lessen their hangovers with a little food - in last nights club outfit; and 'I'm hungry but it's late' people in their pajamas or sweats. We couldn't possibly stand out more if we tried.

I raise my eyebrows hoping to drive home my point. It works, he starts to laugh and his laugh makes me laugh.

"Okay, I get your point, let's get out of here so we can not stick out like a sore thumb everywhere me go." He takes my hand and helps me off my stool after leaving some money on the bar.

Thinking out loud I say "We can just get something from one of those tourist shops or something? You know they always have logo t-shirts or whatever for now."

"You are a genius, you know that. Come on!"

We decide to just walk along the strip in order to keep our parking spot. Christian gets an 'I heart Cali' shirt and shorts, I get a 'Party in the USA' shirt with matching yoga pants.

Once in the car, Christian tells me that the place we are staying is 30 mins away and we take off. Theres not much to see since we're on the highway and it's so dark out but for the first time in the last few weeks, and especially in the past 24 hours, I feel calm and at peace.

"Welcome to your home for the weekend."

I can't even say anything. I am truly stunned and speechless. This has to be the most absolutely beautiful and breathtaking place I have ever seen. And this place is HUGE! Like mansion huge. I'm pretty sure it is. I wonder how many rooms it has? And bathrooms? How much did it cost? Who owns it? How much does this cost? If the outside is anything like the inside it must cost a fortune a night. Do they even rent places like this out by nights?

"Do you like it?" Christian says looking absolutely uncertain. I decide to let him suffer a little.

"Like it?… hmm…." I answer looking around with a turned up nose.

"If you don't, I'm sure we can find another place. I thought this was nice since you know it is kind of isolated but it's like its own beach and the actual beach isn't that far away. It's fully updated, has all the latest materials, with cozy lounge areas. It's between LA and Hollywood so we can go to either one, or both, if you want…"

"Christian" I say curtly trying to keep up the facade. He immediately stops talking and looks me in the eye apprehensively. Wow, his eyes are so dreamy. I break in to a grin and run towards the house. "Can we go in? Have you seen inside? Have you been here before? Hmm… do you own it?"

"So you're happy about the house?"

"Of course I'm happy. It looks amazing!"

"So you were playing with me?" he asks he asks feigning hurt. "I'll remember that. Do you want a tour now or when we wake up?"

"Now! I'm so excited I don't think I could fall asleep right away. Judging by the size of this place though I'm pretty sure that when we finish up I will be."

"Okay, it's already two o'clock in the morning but I guess we can look around. I don't really know the property and no, I don't own it, so we can just look around."

"Ok!"

The main house is huge, fully furnished, and just wow. Some of it was a little tacky but for the most part, this place is top of the line. I counted one master suite, and 4 other rooms all with King size beds but still more than enough space to move around. The kitchen has a breakfast bar and there is a dining room that could easily sit 10. The living area has a huge fireplace, grand piano, complete surround system and more. And that is just the basic, like bare minimum, description. Who knows what lyes beyond the walls. I half sigh, half yawn; I guess my exhaustion is catching up to me.

"So I thought you could have the master since it's bigger and has all those extras in there." Christian says.

"That wouldn't be fair. You are the one paying for this place."

"But I insist."

"We could just share it" I say shyly. It is a California king sized bed so its really the size of two beds. _Yup, that's the reasoning!_ But really I just want to be close to him.

"I'm not sure thats a good idea. I'm a restless sleeper.."

"Oh.."

 _Silence._

"So you can take the master and I will take one of the other rooms."

"Okay" i say trying to sound neutral but really I feel kind of rejected. I walk off to the master suite, and strip. I figure I can use the clothes tomorrow when we go shopping. I slip under the covers and they feel like silk. _Maybe they are?_ I almost immediately give in to my exhaustion.

I am awaken by the worse sounding pleading screams. _Someone is in the house..?_

I listen a little closer and notice that it is Christian screaming like that. _I have to help him!_ Ray's teaching kicks in and I grab the small lamp after taking off the shade and silently run towards the screams.

 _"_ _No, stop! Stop!….. Yellow….. Stop. Red!"_

I open the door swiftly but quietly and scan the room. No one else is in the room - Christian looks like he is having a violent nightmare and struggling to move.

I step closer to him calling his name, trying to wake him up. I lightly tap his shoulder. _I know better than to get too much involved in someone when they are in a state like this._ It's not working. I cup his head in my hands, press our foreheads together, repeatedly saying his name and try to will him to wake up.

He takes a sharp breath in as his eyes focus on mine.

"Ana"

"Yeah, are you okay?" I say letting go of his face and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Answer the question. Are you okay?"

"I'm used to them. I'll be fine."

 _He's used to them?_ That means he has nightmares like that all the time. I feel a pang of sadness in my heart. _But he didn't have one when we were on the plane._

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

He looks deep in thought for a moment before finally saying, "I don't know."

"Ok."

"You should go back to sleep and I'll try to do the same."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure you're tired."

"Ok." I say heading towards his door. "If you need anything let me know" i say looking back at him.

"Thanks." he forces a slight smile but it doesn't reach his eyes.

* * *

 **I'm finally done with classes so chapters should be coming more frequently!**

 **Christain618 - You calling Christian a 'bad boy' made me laugh so much I was almost in tears! So thank you. I love reading all responses so _p_** ** _lease review, comment, ask questions, etc._**


	6. You Give Me Something

_Chapter 5 - You Give Me Something (James Morrison)_

 _"_ _You give me something_

 _That makes me scared alright_

 _This could be nothing_

 _But I'm willing to give it a try_

 _Please give me something_

 _Because someday I might know my heart"_

* * *

 **CPOV**

Yesterday was so.. _Normal._ Me being a normal person. Who would have ever thought? Especially after I made my first billion so young I have blown up. There hasn't been a 'normal' day for me in years... _no ever. I've never been normal._

But I was normal.. Just another Joe walking the streets of LA. This weekend has been absolutely perfect so far.

I guess we eventually fell asleep because her she lays in my arms on the couch. I remember she fell asleep with her back on the armrest and it didn't look the most comfortable. So naturally I chose to cuddle with her on the couch.

 _Who am I kidding? And what's happening to me?_ This isn't me at all. I never go anywhere alone. I certainly do not run away. What am I some 14 year old? Taylor and Welch must be having s field day right now.

However, there is a major part of me that does not want this weekend to end. Away from all the stress of who I have become, I actually feel relaxed for what may be the first time in my entire life. Ana - she brings out the best in me. No, she bring out an entirely new me that I didn't know existed to begin with.

"Morning" she mumbles as she starts to stir awake.

"Good morning, beautiful."

She blushes and tries to hide her face in my shoulder. She starts to wiggle around and stretch out her limbs. I already have morning wood and this is not making it any better. I try so shift slightly to the side.

"So what are we going to do today?" She asks with her eyes closed once again.

"I was thinking we could maybe go to Hollywood and explore kind of like we did yesterday."

She groans at the idea. "I'm really tired. Can we just stay here today?"

All we did was walk around a bit.. "Yeah, sure."

While Ana is making mac and cheese for our dinner tonight I can't help the smile that graces my face. This all just seems so perfect - her here with me, cooking my favorite meal, us enjoying each others company with no cares or worries about work or secrets.

The radio is playing.

"May I have this dance?" I ask holding my hand out accompanied with an over the top bow.

"Certainly sir." She happily complies after she takes out the mac and cheese. We just sway to the the music. It's a song I haven't heard before but with her pressed close against my body, and no one else has ever been able to get this close to me before, just like at the gala just a day and a half ago; the words are apt.

 _"…'Cause you give me something_

 _That makes me scared, alright_

 _This could be nothing_

 _But I'm willing to give it a try_

 _Please give me something_

 _'Cause someday I might know my heart_

 _Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart…"_

I look down at her and see… I see.. I'm not sure what but I like it. She stares right through me and bites her lip. I slowly start to bring my head down to hers asking for permission. She grants it by meeting me halfway.

Once our lips touch it is like nothing I have ever experienced before. This is the absolute best kiss I have ever received and her passion shoots straight to my dick.

I list her and put her back on the wall so I'm now pushing against her while we both run our hands over each other.

"Wow" we both say as we break apart panting and breathless. She bites her lip and I almost lunge at her again.

Our kiss isn't as rushed as our last but a slow sensual dance. She moans as I bit her lip a tug a bit and I didn't think it was possible but my dick just got so hard its painful at this point. I need to taste the rest of her.

I start to kiss her cheek and down her neck. She lets out another long moan.

"Christian?"

"Hmm" I say extremely distracted.

"Christian… I- I haven't-" she sounds apprehensive making me stop and look up at her. "I'm a virgin."

I let her down and walk back slightly raking my hands through my fingers. _Did I just hear what I think i heard? A virgin._

"I'm sorry." she says looking utterly embarrassed.

"What? Why are you sorry?" I stutter out still reeling a bit.

"I ruined our moment… I guess?" she looks down shyly.

"No baby. Not at all. But, are you sure you want to do this?" As much as I want her, I don't want her to regret anything.

"More sure than I've ever been about anything. Make love to me Christian." I have never done that before but right now, it's all I want to do. I want to worship this woman.

I walk towards and give her soft but meaningful peck on the lips. I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom.

I lay her down gently and start to kiss her again. I kiss down her neck as she tugs at my shirt. I willingly take it off and do the same with hers. My hands grab lightly on to her waist while our tongues continue to dance. _Her skin is so soft._

Her hands start to play at my buckle and I do the same with hers. I pull down her pants and kick mine to the side. While I stand over her I look at her body from her head to her toes seeing her do the same to me. Scanning her once more as i start to move closer, I see bandages cover a small part on upper chest below her collarbone. I brush it as lightly and as softly as I can but she tenses and pulls back sligthly.

"Please don't." she whispers. There was something slightly raised beneath the bandages and I have to wonder what happ- "I won't ask about yours if you don's ask about mine" she pleads snapping me out of my thoughts and back to her eyes which are somewhat glossy. I almost forgot about the scars on my chest and back as I haven't been affected by her touch at all. I don't want to talk about mine right now so I let it go.

"Okay." I say and go back to her and kiss her eyes that are starting to fill with tears. Then, I slowly kiss her lips. I run my fingers along her skin and unhook her bra. Her breasts are just so beautiful. I take my kisses along that same side of her collar bone where her bandages are and it causes her to whimper. I take one of her breasts in my mouth and kneed the other with my hand. She lets out soft moans that drive me wild.

I continue my kisses down her stomach and as I move down, I move her panties down until I reach my target. I slowly kiss through her pubic hair and she squirms below me. I can tell she is ready for me and I am certainly ready for her but I need to taste her first.

I part her lips with my tongue and she gives what can only be described as a primal grunt. I insert my tongue in to her and she tastes so good. She immediately grabs my hair to pull me in deeper and starts rocking her hips against my face.

I continue my assault and her grip tightens in my hair. I know she is close so quickly nip her bud and she explodes.

I make my way back up her body and kiss her lips letting her taste herself.

"Please" she moans.

"What?"

"I want you…"

"Are you sure?" I look deep in her eyes

"Yes." I grab a condom from the nightstand and roll it on. As she gets a good look at my member her eyes widen slightly and her breathing starts to get quicker.

"You'll stretch and I'll go slow baby, I promise." I say while positioning myself over her. She tilts her hip slightly in order to welcome me. I slowly slide in inch by inch allowing her to accommodate the foreign feeling. "This is going to hurt baby. Tell me if you want me to stop." I go in all the way.

She tenses and a single tear falls down her cheek so I wipe it away. Being in her feels like Heaven. She is so warm, wet, soft, and tight. It takes all my learned control in order to not blow my load right then and there. When lost in my thoughts I guess the pain for her went away as she starts to rock her hips, encouraging me.

"Christian.. move… please" she pants out.

I move in and out of her slowly, worshiping her, making love to her. This is single handedly the best sex experience I have had in my entire life. It feels a million times better that I ever thought it could because this is something… _more._

I can feel myself losing a bit of control as she starts to constrict around me, pulling me in, and I know it won't be much longer. "Come for me, baby" I whisper hoarsely and as she begins to orgasm, I do the same. I come so hard I start to feel dizzy and I fall on her bracing as much of my weight on my elbows as I can. We are both panting and struggling to catch our breaths.

Once we seem to get a normal rate of breathing back, I pull out of her and she winces slightly.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"I'm fine. That was amazing."

"Come on let's get in the shower." I suggest and she lazily gets up to go to the bathroom and turns on the hot water. She looks so delectable that I just have to pounce on her again. We fuck hard and fast in the shower; nothing like how we were just 30 minutes ago but it is still fantastic. We start washing each other when she all of a sudden she tenses and turns around and gets out of the shower saying she has to use the bathroom. She leaves the room, which I assume is to go to another bathroom. _Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable peeing in the same place as me? After what we just did, I don't see why._

* * *

 **APOV**

I ran out of the shower as fast as I could when I noticed my nose started to bleed. I didn't want him to worry about me and I certainly didn't want him to question me. Luckily, it was just a light bleed and it stopped almost as quick as it started. She said that they could happen.

While Christian is finishing up in the shower I make a few calls. I know this weekend has to end, this was the perfect wake-up call for that, and I have to get back to reality. I don't want to bring him in to all this. I call the airport to arrange a flight back to Seattle tonight and a car service to take me there. There were some issues with me not having any identification but I explained (and exaggerated) my situation to the manager a bit and arranged for me to provide the necessary documentation and ample compensation when I get back. I climb in to bed and face the beautiful window.

He comes back to bed and pulls me to him, my back to his front.

"Sleep well angel" he whispers in my ear before kissing the spot behind my ear.

But I don't sleep. I wait until I hear his small snore so that I know he really is asleep. I roll over slightly and look at his face. I memorize everything I can about him and hope that I can dream of him in my times of need. His sweet angelic face. He was my angel this weekend and exactly what I needed. I love every second I've spent with him the past two days. I wish things didn't have to be like this.. I think I have really fallen for this man.

I place a note on his nightstand and give him one last peck on his lips. I wipe my silent tears from my eyes as I make my way to the cab.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading.** ** _Please review, comment, ask questions, etc._**


	7. Forever Young

**I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow but the responses to the last chapter were so great I** **didn't want you guys to wait any longer so here it is!**

 **Happy Reading!**

 **-Ari**

* * *

 _Chapter 6 - Forever Young (Jay Z)_

 _"_ _Hoping for the best_

 _but expecting the worse"_

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I slowly start to wake up but I sense something is off. Its too cold. I bring my arm over to where I know Ana was just last night but it's empty andcold. I don't hear any other sounds coming from the house and I shoot up. I look through all the rooms but there is no sign of her. No sounds, no scent.. nothing. I run back to our room and I see it.

* * *

 _Dear Christian_

 _I want to thank you for an absolutely amazing weekend. This will probably forever be the best weekend of my life but we both have o return back to reality. I want you to know that all of this was in fact real and I am truly sorry that it can't continue but I think this is the best thing to do for the both of us._

 _Love,_

 _Ana_

* * *

She left? Why would she leave? It's only 7am. We fell asleep at around 9 last night. _Wait! I slept a full 10 hours?! That never happens._ When could she have left?

 _Love, Ana._

I have to find her. We had such an amazing weekend. Sure, we were living in a sort of fantasy but it was very real and we could can make it work. But I know nothing about this woman other than her name is Ana.

Dammit! I have to get back and find her. What if she was just visiting and doesn't even live in Seattle? What if Ana isn't her real name? _Ugh.._ I have to get back and get more information on her. I need to find her because.. because _I love her too_.

I turn my phone back on and immediately call Taylor.

"Sir." He barks. He is obviously still mad about me running away. _He'll get over it._

"Good Morning to you too… look a situation has come up and I need to come back immediately."

"Is everything okay?" he asks.

"Security wise, yes."

"Okay.. I see you are still in California."

"Yes, are you here too?" I ask sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact I am. Do you need me to pick you up, sir?" Well, that's not the answer I expected.

"Yes, Taylor I would really appreciate that. Call Andie and tell him we need to take off within the hour. I am ready whenever you are."

"Certainly, I will be with you shortly."

A few minutes later, he arrives.

"Nice place." He says as I get in the car.

"Yeah, it is.. How long have you been here Taylor?"

"Since Saturday. I figured you needed some space but I knew you would be coming back after the weekend."

"Thank you Jason. For being here."

* * *

 **Taylor POV**

I may call the boss Christian sometimes when speaking feely but he never once has called me Jason. Not that I can remember anyway.

Compared to how he looked on Saturday when I got here, he looks like hell now. I saw him with a woman walking, flirting. Bumping each other, laughing, and even occasionally holding hands. I've never seen him like that, _ever._

"Anytime, Christian." I hope he knows I mean it. He is more than just a boss to me - best friend or brother even.

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

I wake up in my bed for the first time all weekend. It is 7am and it feels incredibly lonely in here… but I can't dwell too long as I still have to move everything and then get to the hospital.

I quickly dress in the most comfortable clothes I can find - a pair of skinny sweatpants and slighty oversized pull over. I started packing before the gala on Friday so I don't have much else to do.

I pack the rest of my comfortable clothing in my small rolling suitcase and look around the room once I'm done. I'm glad Kate is still on her vacation in Prague. She won't be back for another week so I quickly write her a note to leave on my bed.

* * *

 _Dear Kate,_

 _Thanks for being such a great friend. I need a little time away so I took a vacation of my own._

 _Ana_

* * *

Hopefully this note will be good enough to keep Kate at bay until I can really say that I am off the grid. I look around one last time. The place is still dark due to how early it is. I walk out of the apartment and get in to my rented truck. I drive to the storage locker I have secured a little bit out of town. I unload everything monotonously and without emotion.

Everything is packed in now and I only have my small suitcase left. The sun is just starting to really rise in the sky creating a beautiful rosy pink colour. I drive the truck back to the rental place and hail a taxi.

As the taxi makes its drive back in to the city I can't help but look at all the beauty around me.

Soon enough I arrive...

Bellvue Medical..

I go in and am immediately whisked away to get blood work and vitals done before going in to the actual oncology ward. After checking my port, the doctor says that it healed perfectly fine and I was surprised to see the scar was so clean although it is weird to have a lump sort of sticking out of your chest. She leads me to a room in the oncology ward where I will be staying. While the nurses set up the medicine in my room, Dr. Hamburg shows me the rest of the ward. There is a common area with a TV, and reading materials, etc. Very bland but there are a few people there who seem to be engrossed in come video game. A video game in the oncology ward? When Dr. Hamburg sees my confusion she begins to tell me that this is a transitional ward meaning the older teens and young adults are the ones who stay in this particular area; an attempt to make the patients more comfortable having people their age around them. She shows me where there are some therapy rooms where there is a personal trainer who comes in an anyone who feels well enough can exercise a bit and it is also where they do group counseling. There is also a small game room which acts as the party room or cafeteria when wanted.

We make our way back to our room and reality hits me hard like brick. The room is so barren and sterile, the only personal items in her being my small suitcases.

"You should probably unpack now while I talk you over how things are going to go today as you may not feel up to it later." she says.

I make my way to the dresser and open the drawers while she starts to talk. She goes over what receiving the actual treatment will feel like as well as what the possible side effects will be.

"..Loss of appetite, memory or concentration problems, nausea, vomiting, sore throat, problems with sleeping, hair loss-"

"When?" I interrupt her.

"Excuse me?"

"When will I start to lose my hair?"

She pauses for a moment. "It could start within the next few days or-"

"I want to cut it."

"Are you sure about this Ana? Most patients-"

"Yes, I want to cut it. Make it a wig for one of the younger kids maybe." I say with a slight smile.

"If you're sure."

"Absolutely."

"That's wonderful. I will go get someone."

A man comes back with Dr. Hamburg and braids my hair in silence. She gives me on final look with the scissors in his hands. I give her a sight nod. _Here goes._

He cuts the ponytail and my hair starts to fall in to a bob just above my shoulder.

She gives me a hand mirror and I look at myself. It's definitely a lot different than I thought it would be but I don't hate it.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Now I know we have had this conversation before but are you sure you don't want anyone here with you right now?"

I think about my dad, Ray briefly or even Kate but the one person I wish was here more than anything is Christian. I had the best and most amazing weekend of my life with him. I wish it would last forever but I know that it can't. I hope he doesn't feel like I used him. I guess I kind of did but I have really fallen for him. I had to go so I wouldn't hurt him if-

"Ana?" I must have spaced out for a while.

"Oh, sorry. No, I'm fine for now."

She huffs obviously not content with my answer. "Okay, lets get started then."

A few nurses come in and get me hooked up to all these machines, and my medicine and IV through my port is secured. The smell of all this alcohol from sterilization is disgusting and I'm pretty sure I can taste it too.

"You're all set up. You won't start to feel the effects for a while so in the meantime I suggest you get some rest."

"That sounds like a good idea." After all I didn't get much sleep last night.

"There's a bucket over to your right and the nurse call button is on your left. Call if you need anything, including pain medicine. I will be back to check on you in a few hours." she says as she leaves.

And so it begins…

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please ask questions, comment, review, etc._**

 **-Ari**


	8. Daddy

_Chapter 7 - Daddy(Beyoncé)_

 _"Words can't express my boundless gratitude for you_

 _I appreciate what you do_

 _You've given me such security_

 _No matter what mistakes I know you're there for me_

 _You cure my disappointments and you heal my pain_

 _You understand my fears and you protected me"_

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

I've been here for just 24 hours yet I feel like absolute hell. Dr. Hamburg was not kidding when she was talking about those side effects. After my suggested nap yesterday I woke up with a super sore throat, feeling clammy and nauseous. I spent all day just lying in bed, sleeping whenever I didn't feel like vomiting.

Today those side effects are minimal but I absolutely could not sleep last night and now I'm exhausted. I managed to eat something small this morning and it stayed down thanks to the anti-nausea medicine but I still feel really clammy although I don't have a fever. _Cancer Suck!_ plain and simple. No one should ever have to go through this.

I imagined it to be a lot worse but this still sucks. I'm just so tried _and very bored!_ Not to mention nurses coming in every hour and picking and poking at you.

After a long and boring afternoon, I try to get up and take a walk. My medicine is on a cart so I am able to walk around. My legs are a little sore, probably from being in the bed for so long but it not unbearable. I walk through the hallway and at one door I see something… theres a man caring for his young daughter, helping her back in to the bed.

 _I need to call Ray._

I go to my room as fast as I can and grab the phone. It rings a few times before he answers.

"Hello?" he asks skeptically. Of course he wouldn't know this number.

"Hi Daddy."

"Annie? Who's number is this? What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Dad.." I sniffle "I need you."

"Oh Annie, what's wrong."

* * *

 **Ray POV**

"I'm in the hospital. I'm sick."

 _What?_ I immediately turn off the Mariners game in order to focus all my attention on my girl.

"What's wrong?" We are not the type of people to go running to the hospital for anything. Her being in the hospital is a big step.

"Can you come to the hospital please? I'll explain then." I can hear her crying on the line. Annie rarely ever cries.

"Which hospital?"

"Bellvue Medical."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you daddy" she whispers.

Luckily, I already had today off. I grab my go-bag from my closet and make my way to the hospital. I get to the hospital in around 2.5 hours. I go to the emergency room thinking that is where she is but they assure me she isn't. I call her back on the number she called me.

"Hello, Nurse Abigail speaking."

"Uhm.. Hi my name is Ray Steele, I'm trying to find my daughter. Anastasia Steele."

"Yes, Ana is sleeping right now. Can I help with anything?"

"Well she called me a few hours ago and told me to come to the hospital."

There is a pause before she answers. "Okay. Where are you now?"

"I am in the ER. Is she not here?"

"Stay there. I will have her doctor come to escort you." She says awkwardly before hanging up.

A few minutes later, a doctor calls my name:

"Ray Steele?"

"Yes?" I immediately go to rush over to her. This woman is doesn't look like the typical doctor. She has on business clothes, not scrubs, and has on a lab coat. _What kind of doctor is she?_

"Hello Ray, I'm Dr. Emily Hamburg. I'm really happy that Ana has finally called you." She says with a smile. _What does she mean by_ finally _?_

"You have me at a loss I'm afraid, Dr. Hamburg. Annie called me and told me to come here but I know nothing more than that she is somewhere in this hospital."

"I see.. Follow me and hopefully I can answer all your questions."

I follow her to her office, sort of in a daze but determined to figure out whats wrong. Her office is warm and inviting with very Ikea-like furniture and large windows. She directs me to a sofa as she sits on one end as I sit on the other.

"I'm not sure how best to approach this so I will just tell you." I can feel my stomach drop and my heart beating out of my chest. "Ana has leukemia."

Everything stops…

"Cancer.." I whisper to myself in disbelief.

"Yes, cancer." she pauses trying to gauge whether I can take any more news. "I diagnosed her about two weeks ago. Yesterday, she started her chemo treatments."

"Okay.." I say..

"We found it early enough and she has a good chance of survival. With her type of cancer, she has to stay in the hospital for the next four weeks so that we can monitor her and make sure she is safe."

"I want to see her." I will deal with all this medical stuff later.

"Of course." She takes me to get sterilized in order to go in to the ward.

"She's at the end on your left. Last I checked, she was still sleeping."

I walk in to the room and see my girl laying there. She looks so small in that bed. I can't believe she didn't tell me. I would have been here every step of the way and through it all. I would've did something. But really, what could I have done? I'm not in control here..

* * *

 **APOV**

A smell wakes me up. It's familiar.. It smells like-

"Dad?"

"Oh, Annie." My dad says while coming to cup my cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I'm so sorry." I start to sob in to his hand and then in to his shoulder while he holds me gently.

"It's okay sweetie. I'm here now."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please ask questions, comment, review, etc._**

 **-Ari**


	9. The Fighter

**A/N: Now the cat is out of the bag… Ana has cancer - leukemia to be a little more specific. (Yes motherbeatrice, you were right all along!) Although the cancer is a major part in this story I will be focusing on the lighter side of things and many POV's will come in to play. I am not just writing what I think but also doing research, looking at stories and trying to get in to the mind of the characters. Again, I understand if this subject is hard to read about and you cannot continue so thank you for reading so far! If you like my writing but want a different story/subject feel free to PM me ideas. This is an HEA just so everyone knows but it might take a while to get there.**

 **Well that's enough from me for now... Happy reading!**

* * *

 _Chapter 8 - The Fighter(The Fray)_

 _"_ _The fighter goes inside_

 _The doubt is creeping in_

 _He swings with all his might_

 _At all that might have been"_

* * *

I've been in the hospital for about a week now and although the more sever symptoms of my first chemo treatment have subsided, I still feel horrible. I'm extremely tired but I can't sleep for more than a few hours and I have no appetite what so ever.

The only thing about this that isn't absolutely horrible is the fact that I got to see my dad everyday this past week. It was sweet and I do really appreciate it but he has a company to run and a life to live so I told him that he should go back home and maybe check on me on the weekends. I don't want him to stop his life just because of me. It took him all week to break him down but he agreed. He did however, say that he would cut back on his work days so he could be in town for three days instead of two and he will get an apartment here to not have to pay for a hotel.

Today is Monday again and this is my second chemo treatment. _I don't think I'lll ever get used to that alcohol smell._ I'm kind of glad that Ray stayed for today but he looks like he is in more pain than I am currently as the hang the bag for my treatment.

"It's okay Dad. It doesn't hurt right now." I try to reassure him.

"Really?" He asks cringing. I know he's a military man and has seen way worse so I find this a little amusing.

"Yeah, its kind of a needle prick." It's a little more than that but he doesn't need to know that.

"If you say so. I'm so sorry baby. You shouldn't have to go through this."

"No one should. But I'm here now so.."

"Yeah."

* * *

Ray stays as late as he can and leaves just after he made sure I ate something for dinner.

Thankfully, I don't feel too bad today. The first day time the chemo just made me tired and clammy. I feel a little clammy now but it's nothing like it was last week and I hope it stays that way.

I don't know if I should even be doing this. _What if the treatments don't work?_ I think that is single handedly my biggest fear. What if I go through all of this but still don't make it?

It's exactly why I have distanced myself from the people I care about the most. I kind of wish I didn't even bring my dad in to this but I have to admit really needed him. But no matter what, I _cannot_ bring Kate, or Jose, and especially not Christian in to this.

In our short time together, I felt more alive than ever before and I fell. I fell hard for him. Probably since that first overpriced dance.

It was just so comfortable and normal to be with him. We spent all day Sunday talking about each other. He loves to go out on his boat _The Grace_ names after his mom. He also likes to go gliding - he said he would take me one day. I tear up at the memories of us and the things that could have been. I break in to full outright sobs.

After some time I finally fall asleep with thoughts of Christian. The thoughts of the things we could never be.

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter but I thought it was important to get Ana's viewpoint about how she feels towards Christian and this situation right now.**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please ask questions, comment, review, etc._**

 **-Ari**


	10. Can't Let Go

_Chapter 9 - Can't Let Go(Landon Pigg)_

 _"_ _I can't let go_

 _No, I can't let go of you"_

* * *

 **Christian POV**

It has been two weeks. Two long weeks without Ana by my side. I have tried everything I can think of but theres nothing.

All we have is her first name. _Ana._ If that is even her real name.

I even resorted to asking Mia about her a week ago. _Yes, I'm that desperate._ But she was no luck. She only met Ana in the store one time and gave her her number but she didn't call.. She used cash to pay Caroline at the store when she was with Mia. The address was under someone else's name.. nothing has been working..

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a perpetual darkness. I haven't really talked to anyone and have been hold up in my office most of the time.; even on the weekends. I see Gail and Jason exchange looks every once in a while and even as I walk up to my mother I can see she is worried about me.

 _Hell, I'm worried about me._ I don't know what to do with my life without her.

* * *

 **Grace POV**

I don't know what is going on with my youngest boy but I am definitely worried; well more worried than usual. He has always been the complicated of my three children but lately he has seemed to fallen even deeper in to himself. He still has this impassive CEO mask on but his eyes tell a different story. There has been sadness and heartache in them. I wish I knew what it was so I could help him. _My poor baby._

I am glad he is doing the tour of the hospital today though. I've only seen him once since the Coping Together Gala other than this time. It's just good to know he's still alive sometime. As they walk away to start the tour even Taylor gives me a sympathetic smile. He knows something is going on but by the worry in his eyes I doubt he really has much more of a clue than I do.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I don't see why every time I donate, the hospital board feels the need to show me around the place. I don't need everyone to know that I pretty much own the hospital with all the money that I donate. Can't I simply do something good and not have to parade it around.

We have walked through pretty much every single ward in this hospital and now they are showing me one of the oncology wards that will be getting a makeover with a large part of my most recent donation. This ward has a lot of young people, teens and young adults. It saddens me to know that people have to go through sickness like this.

I look around the common area and I do think it is in need of a makeover. I may not live in the warmest place but there _needs_ to be warmth in here.

Something near the window catches my eyes. It's the sparkle of a necklace. It was Saturday when we were in LA…

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _"_ _I want that one! "_

 _"_ _Really Ana? We've been in a million stores, including Cartier, and you want this ten dollar necklace from a thrift store?"_

 _"_ _Yes! What's wrong with it? It's has such beautiful colours. The blue and pink with the right amount of silver. Yes, I want this one?"_

 _"_ _It is a beautiful necklace, just like the person I'm buying it for."_

 _"_ _Well I hope that person is me" she laughs while tugging me toward the cash register._

 _End of Flashback_

* * *

It couldn't possibly be… _Ana?_

"Ana?"

* * *

 **APOV**

I look out the window on this lovely day. I can't believe how beautiful it looks outside. The grass and trees are green. It looks.. peaceful. The past week after the realization of how much I really do love Christian I've fallen in to a depression.. I wish things could be different. Sometimes I wish I never even met Christian but I know it's not true. i touch my necklace and think of that day..

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _"_ _I want that one!" Theres this really pretty necklace in this thrift store on the strip._

 _"_ _Really Ana? We've been in a million stores, including Cartier, and you want this ten dollar necklace from a thrift store?" This man really has more money than sense._

 _"_ _Yes! What's wrong with it? It's has such beautiful colours. The blue and pink with the right amount of silver. Yes, I want this one?" I say with determination._

 _"_ _It is a beautiful necklace, just like the person I'm buying it for."_

 _"_ _Well I hope that person is me." I laugh while tugging him toward the cash register._

 _End of Flashback_

* * *

 **"** Ana?"

That voice pulls me out of my daze. _That voice._ I can't look. What if it is simply my chemo brain messing with me? Or a hallucination. I should really tell Dr. Hamburg about this. I don't remember hallucinations being on the list of symptoms or side effects.

"Ana?" The voice is closer though it's almost a whisper.

I feel fingers on my chin and by the electricity that I feel immediately upon contact, I know that it is him. He's really here. But how? And why? He can't be here! Oh, but I want him to be..

I look up at him and the pain I see in his eyes is unbearable. I close my eyes and a single tear rolls from both my eyes. He is quick to brush them away.

"Christian?" I whisper with a hoarse voice and my eyes still closed. I thought my throat was dry before but right now it feels like the Sahara.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please ask questions, comment, review, etc._**


	11. Mirrors

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I started writing it a long time ago but I decided to do some editing of the other chapters first. So.. I think you should go back and read those when you have a chance. I hope that I cleared up some slightly confusing things as well as changed a few of the smaller plot points involving Kate, Caroline, the Airport etc. from the earlier chapters. But it's nothing major I promise. As per request I will try at writing longer chapters so hopefully each one after this will be longer than the last.**

 **Thanks for reading and all your support!**

 **-Ari**

* * *

 _Chapter 10 - Mirrors(Justin Timberlake)_

 _"_ _'Cause I don't wanna lose you now_

 _I'm lookin' right at the other half of me_

 _The vacancy that sat in my heart_

 _Is a space that now you hold"_

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

Oh my God! What is he doing here? How did he find me? At first I'm glad, ecstatic even, that he is here but then reality sets in again. He won't want me and he won't care. He'll leave me and the thought of living without him at his choice breaks me heart. I immediately break out in to full blown sobs. _He's going to leave me.._

* * *

 **Taylor POV**

As Grey makes his way away from the group instinctively I follow him. He is going towards a girl who looks to be one of the patients here. She's small and and sitting in a wheelchair by the window. By the time he reaches her, the entire group we are with is staring after him, their laced with fascination and confusion much like I'm sure mine is.

He tilts her chin up and I can see the realization on her face and then fear before she breaks in to gut wrenching sobs. He quickly and gently places his arms around her as she continues to cry on his chest.

I have never seen him let anyone get so close to him at all let alone touch his chest. _He doesn't even hug his own mother._ And I have seen him make plenty of people cry but not never has he once showed compassion.

By the time her cries stop the whole room, maybe even the entire ward, is looking at them. He's gently rubbing her back and then he motions for me to come over.

"Can you find her room please and help me get her there. She fell asleep." His voice is so hoarse and I realize that he has been crying too. I have never _ever_ seen him like this.

I go towards what looks like one of the doctors and she helps us get this girl safely back to bed. It's then that I notice the necklace. I was watching them that day and I remember them both walking out of a thrift store and she has a huge smile on her face while practically skipping down the street as he looked on with amusement.

It's her. _It's really her._ Ana. Thank God. Grey has been going crazy since she left.

"Taylor you can go. I'm staying here. Tell the directors I'm done with the tour and make sure they keep their mouths shut about this." Grey says while pulling up a chair to sit next to her bed. As I am about to leave, the doctor steps in.

"Excuse me, Mr. Grey, but you are not currently permitted to visit this patient." she says.

"Doctor—"

"Hamburg."

"Doctor Hamburg. Please, can I just stay with her. If she wakes up and wants me gone, I will leave." he says only looking at Ana.

The Doctor must notice this look because she allows him to stay but says that someone will be checking on her every hour.

"Thank you." He says looking her straight in her eyes.

I give him a nod to let him know that I am leaving.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

As Taylor leaves, I look back at Ana's beautiful face. I can't believe I found her and I can't believe she is here. She's sick and she didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell me? I thought she loved me. She said love in the letter. I could have been here for her. I will be here for her as much as I can. _If she lets me.._

How long has she known? Did she know when we were together? Is that why she left? I have so many questions but right now the most important thing is that I found her. I found her and I have no intention of letting her go.

I hold her hand and put my head on her bed. I'm not one to be religious or pray even but I pray that she will be okay.. Whatever she is going through. She has to be okay…

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

I slowly start to wake from probably the strangest dream that I've had in a while. I was here in the hospital and Christian was with me. He was holding me while I was crying.

As I become more aware of my surroundings I feel a hand on mine and my bed is dipped a little. There is an electric charge that I can feel.. I only feel it when he is around though…

I open my eyes and low behold, there is a beautiful head of copper hair resting on my bed. My dream.. well, it wasn't a dream. He's here. It all comes back to me. He's here.. he found me.. _he's going to leave me!_ A sob escapes my mouth and I quickly go to put my hand to my mouth out reflex but he grips it and his head shoots up.

His gray eyes meet mine. I am stunned and breathless. There's no anger or regret in his eyes but pain and sadness. We sit like that for some time; blue to gray.

I am the first to look away but only because I need to wipe the tears that have fallen. I am also the first to speak.

"What are you doing here?" I croak out. My throat is extremely dry this morning.

"Is your throat dry?"

"Yes." I croak again.

He runs, _yes runs,_ in to the hallway to find a nurse. Wanda happens to be the nurse that hr grabs.

"Hi Ana. I'm gonna let Dr. Hamburg know you're awake." She say while handing me a bottle of water with a straw.

I awkwardly sip my water while Christian stands near the end of my bed. I'm really not sure what to say or even do right now. Christian looks like he is about to say something when Dr. Hamburg comes in the room.

"Ana. How are you feeling?"

"A little groggy. My throat is really dry and a little sore."

"Well that's probably just the side effects. You did give us a scare when some people saw you being carried to your room." She says looking at Christian.

"I'm sorry. But I didn't pass out, I was just tired and a little overwhelmed I guess."

"I see." She says still looking at Christian. "Do you want him to be in here?" She asks turning back to me.

"Uhm.." They both look at me; Dr. Hamburg in anticipation and Christian pleadingly. "Yes. Actually can you put him on my visitors list? Christian it's late and I'm tired can you please come back tomorrow?" I ask.

Dr. Hamburg looks shocked that I now have some one on my previous non-existent visitors list and Christian looks like he doesn't want to leave.

"If you promise I can see you tomorrow."

"Yes. I'm not going anywhere." I attempt a joke but it doesn't seems like it was received well. Dr. Hamburg is by the door looking at our interactions and waiting to see what she might need to do.

Christian walks over to me and places his fingers under my chin so I can look at him. But my eyes are closed. He places a short but lingering kiss on my lips. I finally open my eyes and look at him. Our eyes lock and I feel my chest tightening and I'm pretty sure it's trying to make room for the love I feel for this man.

"Tomorrow" he whispers on my lips.

I'm too choked up to say anything so I just nod my head. He kisses my forehead and then walks to the door where Dr. Hamburg is standing shocked at our interaction that she undoubtedly saw. I know she's too professional to ever outright ask but it will probably be talked about at some point.

They walk out of my room and soon after a nurse comes in to change my iv. I drift to sleep with hopes of feeling better and thoughts of what tomorrow may bring.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please ask questions, comment, review, etc. It all helps!_**


	12. Look After You

_Chapter 11 - Look After You(The Fray)_

 _"_ _'Be my baby_

 _I'll look after you"_

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

"Good Morning Everyone. For those of your who don't know, my name is Thomas and I am the group facilitator."

"Good Morning" everyone says in semi-unison.

"Well… what do you all want to talk about today?"

The room is quiet. This is weird..

"Sorry I'm late!" A girl with blonde hair walks in.

"It's okay. And who might you be?" Thomas.

"My name is Wanda. I'm new here."

"Welcome Wanda. We were just getting in the kick of things and starting to share so why don't you go first!"

"Uh.. okay" she says while taking the empty chair next to me. "Well, my name is Wanda. Today is my first day of treatment at this hospital. I was in remission for a few years and that's when I moved but now.. it's back so.. I'm here."

"Next." All heads turn to me. This couldn't be any more awkward.

"Uh.. well my name is Ana. I was diagnosed a few weeks ago. I have AML. I'm not really sure what else I'm supposed to say so I guess that's it."

Everyone goes around telling their chemo stories and soon the meeting is over. I am definitely probably not going to go through another one of those. That was brutally awkward. As I'm walking out I here Wanda mumbling something along the lines of what I was just saying to myself.

"Same." I say nudging her shoulder with mine.

"Oh, goodness. You heard me?"

"Yeah but it's okay. That was brutally awkward."

"Tell me about it. Ana, right?"

"Yeah. Wanda' right?"

"Yeah. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. You wanna eat lunch with me?" I have been here two and a half weeks almost and haven't talked to many people let alone any friends and although I feel like crap I think it would be nice to talk to someone for once.

"Yeah sure. Can we do it in one of our rooms though, I'm feeling a little tired."

"Yeah, that's fine with me. I'm in 513, you?"

"515. Looks like we're neighbors." she quips.

"Oh cool. We can go to my room then I guess."

"Okay."

She goes to her room in order to get her lunch and I make sure that my room is presentable enough. She comes in and takes a seat on the window cot. We eat in silence but it's not awkward. It's more like we're just enjoying not being alone but at the same time not being crowded. Once we finish she takes of to her room and I lay down for a nap.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I walk in on a sleeping Anastasia. I'm not sure how long she has been sleeping but I take this time to look around the room and really get a look at her. She looks smaller and more tired than when I last saw her. Her skin is on the pale side and there are bags under her eyes but she still looks absolutely beautiful to me. She stars to stir awake.

"You're hair is different." I inwardly face palm myself.

She laughs. "Thanks, I needed that. Yeah it is different. I cut it before I started treatment and I think I'm going to do one more chop before i shave it off.."

Treatment for what exactly? I know that's really something to ask someone in hospital, that's completely-

"Cancer." she says snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Cancer."

"But you're so young." I half plead half ask.

"Yeah.. It's an equal opportunity offender." She tries to joke.

I can't believe this. She seemed so fine when we were together that weekend. How long has she known? Will she be okay? Does she even-

"Ask." I look a her urging her to continue. "I can see your gears turning Christian so ask and I'll answer as honestly as I can."

"Okay.. well how long have you known?"

"About a month probably." A month. So she knew when we were together and she didn't tell me?

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She signs before answering. "Telling someone you're sick isn't really a great way to start a conversation. I only just told my dad a few weeks ago; no one knew. It's not like everyone else knew except for you and to be really honest, I wanted to forget and for a short time you helped me do that."

"I guess I can understand that. But I have been going crazy trying to find you."

"Really?"

"Yes. I had no way to call you and no way to find you. I asked Mia, went to the store, even got what I thought was your address but it wasn't in your name.."

"I'm really sorry. I didn't realize.. I just thought you would move on."

"That's impossible.." I give her a small smile.

"Any more questions?" she asks.

"I have a lot of questions, Ana."

"Well, while I still have some energy in me, ask away."

"What kind?"

"Leukemia.. Cancer of the blood."

"And what.. what are.." I clear my throat but can't make the words come out.

" _If_ chemo goes well.. I have a 50% 5 year survival rate."

"50%. That's it." I ask completely overloaded with the possibility of losing her.

"Yeah.." she looks down.

"Uhm.. well what's you last name?" I ask trying to steer the conversation somewhere that won't cause me to possibly break down.

"Steele. Wow, you really couldn't find me could you?"

"Nope. Not a thing. I was only here yesterday to do a tour of the hospital since I donate some money from time to time. I'm really glad I did though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I found you."

"But look at me Christian. I'm like damaged goods or something." I frown at her words as she clears her throat. "I think it would be best if you just l-"

"Don't." I say harshly and it makes her flinch slightly. "I just found you and I have no intentions of leaving you."

"But you have a life to live.. outside of this hospital. I don't want to hold you back or anything.."

"I'm not giving up on you." I state matter-of-factly. "So don't give up on me. And don't give up on yourself either?"

She doesn't address what I just said and just asks, "Next question?"

* * *

 **I want to know some of the questions you all have for Ana (and even Christian) so let me know!**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please ask questions, comment, review, etc._**


	13. Halo

_Chapter 12 - Halo_

 _"_ _'Hit me like a ray of sun_

 _Burning through my darkest night_

 _You're the only one that I want_

 _Think I'm addicted to your light"_

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I still don't understand why Ana was insistent on me continuing my life while she's stuck in some stupid hospital bead. I can't believe that she's sick. Even after our talk yesterday and seeing her there.. It's just too hard to believe and imagine. And here I am sitting in this office and theres not a thing I can do to help her. I would give up everything just for her to be okay. I won't be able to focus today I already know it.

"Andrea."

"Yes, sir."

"Go get Ros. I have some things I need to discuss with the two of you."

"Yes, sir." She leaves my office and returns with a visibly upset Ros a few minutes later. She was probably doing something but I don't really care.

"Have a seat ladies."

"What is this about?" Ros asks. If she was anyone else I would have her fired for not listening to my request first but Ros has been here since the start of GEH and I don't think it would run properly without her so she gets a slide.

"Sit." I command calmly. They both sit and look at me expectantly waiting for me to talk.

"There will be some changes to my schedule that I need you both to be aware of... I will leave this office everyday promptly, if not before, 4:30pm. I am not available over the weekends and unless there is an explicit request for myself to be the one to go somewhere, Ros I want you to do it. If there are any major problems please communicate them to myself via email and if there is an emergency that needs to be taken immediately please contact Taylor as he will know the best way to get in touch with me. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." Andrea states. Ros is sitting back in her chair with her brow knit probably deep in thought and doesn't say anything.

"You are dismissed." I state to the both of them. Andrea leaves but Ros stays in her seat. Like before, I look to my screen to make it as if I am doing work in an attempt to avoid the questions that are probably brewing in her head.

"What is this about Grey?" _I guess it didn't work._

"What do you mean?"

"You.. blowing off work. LEaving earlier than probably anyone else in the building. What's gotten in to you?"

 _Why is this woman so inquisitive?_ I have to tell her something to get out of my office. I calmly start to pack my items seeing as I probably won't be getting much work done since all I can think about it Ana. "It's personal" is the only thing I say before walking out of my office.

Once near the car, I see Taylor patiently waiting for me. His face is impassive but his eyes are questioning.

"Taylor."

"Sir."

"From now on I will be leaving Grey House no later than 4:30 where I will head over to the hospital. My mother is not to see me. If you haven't put the pieces together yet, Ana is the woman I was with that weekend I went away and.. she.. she's.." I have to push past this knot in my throat. "She's sick. I want to be with her as much as I can." I look down with a pained face.

Taylor surprisingly pats my shoulder and it's actually comforting. I take a deep breath and give him a small smile in gratitude and he nods in understanding.

"To the hospital now?"

"Yes."

I get to Ana's suite and she is sitting up on the bed facing her window.

"Ana?" I ask timidly coming in.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?" _Really Grey? You ask the girl sitting in the hospital if she is okay. Smart move._

"Yes, Christian. I am okay" she says chuckling knowing where my thoughts were after that question. "I did something today."

"What?" I ask now standing in front of her.

She doesn't say anything but she takes off the scarf on her head. She looks up nervously at me and I can see her gulp. Her hair is gone.

* * *

 **A/N: I decided to skip over the rest of their conversation and mention it throughout the story instead. Hope you liked this chapter. I've planned out some of the later chapters that will be posted in the next few weeks and some of you may need to stock up on chocolate and tissues..**

 **Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter(only 15 more to go!). Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**


	14. Just The Way You Are

_Chapter 13 - Just the Way You Are(Bruno Mars)_

 _"'_ _When I see your face_

 _There's not a thing that I would change_

 _Cause you're amazing_

 _Just the way you are"_

* * *

 **CPOV**

"Well..?" She asks. I understand that I must have been staring at her for an few minutes. _She's bald.._

I make my way closer to her, grad her head and plant a gentle kiss on top of her head. This sets off her tears and she silently cries in to my chest. Once she calms I back her up so I can look in to her eyes.

"You look beautiful. You are and always will be beautiful to me. I love you."

"I love you too."

I love hearing her say that and I love saying it and meaning it.

* * *

 ** _Flashback._**

 _Ana and I have just stayed in her room talking all day. Over the past day and a half we've talked about anything and everything under the sun just trying to learn more about each other and even in a way get closer to each other._

 _"So where does this leave us?" She asks._

 _"I want this to_ lead _us. Ana.. Even after everything we have shared, most of which I have never shared with anyone else outside my therapist, I feel.. I feel alive with you."_

 _"Christian, I feel the same way. Ever since I found out about me being sick a few months ago the best times I've had have been with you.." Her saying this brings a genuine grin to my face. "But.." My grin falls, "I don't want to hold you back. And I don't want you to feel sorry for me because I'm in here sick and you feel oblig-"_

 _"Stop!" I command. "Stop right there. I don't feel obligated for any reason to have been here with you these past two days. And no matter what you do or how hard you try to push me away I. Will. Not. Give. Up. On. You. Or on us. Do you understand me?"_

 _"But why?" She cries._

 _"Because I love you dammit! I love you Ana." I can't believe I just told her that. "I may have fell in love with you from the moment I saw you at that gala and I will be forever grateful for Mia inviting you. Those two weeks without you and not knowing where you were were absolute hell."_

 _"That's exactly why this won't work Christian!" She yells and finds energy to get off her bed and stand. "What if this doesn't work and I have to leave you for good?! I can't live with myself knowing I'm just going to hurt you because I can't stand to see you hurt because I love you too." She starts sobbing "I love you too and I'm fucking scared." She starts to fall but I get to her quickly._

 _"Ana." I say gently. "I'm scared too. I've never felt this towards anyone else before and I'm scared because I might lose you" I say fighting back tears. "But I will be here for you as much as you allow me to. So please just let me."_

 ** _End of Flashback._**

* * *

"Maybe I should get a cut too?" I say trying to make her feel better and lighten her mood somewhat.

"Don't you dare Mister!" She says wagging her finger at me in a chastising manner that really is just coming off as a cute pout. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture but I love your hair. Mostly running my fingers through it... And besides, the way you pull it when you get frustrated it'll be gone in a few years tops so you better enjoy it while you can!" She jokes.

"Ha ha very funny but pint taken. I will not shave off my hair. But what about you?" I ask getting serious again. She may not show it much but I can imagine, especially for a woman, that losing her hair must be really hard on her. "What do you want to do to style that beautiful head of yours?"

"I don't know.. My hair was thinking and looking pretty bad, falling out more each day.. I guess I didn't think about after it was gone."

"Well we can do wigs.. Or really crazy hats or caps. We can have people sign it like a cast."

At that last suggestion she laughs, making my chest swell with joy, but it then turns in to coughing making me nervous.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I guess I just laughed a little too hard." She says catching her breath.

"Are you sure that's all?" I feel like she is hiding from me.

"Yeah. You know I'm feeling kind of tired, I think I'm going to go to bed. For now I think I'll stick to the scarves.."

"Okay.." Well this took an unexpected and short turn.

"I'd like it if you would lay with me." She says pleadingly. "At least until one of the nurses kicks you out. Maybe one day this week you can stay over and sleep in the daybed."

"Why not tonight?" I ask whining, _but only a little._

"Because I would need to notify personnel and have everything set up. So are you coming in or not?" She asks pulling back the covers. She tells me that her actual rounds of chemo are done for now and she's just here for observation so she doesn't have anything hooked up to her but I'm still a little wary. I don't want to hurt her.

I get in gently and carefully and pull her in to me. It's a tight fit in this hospital bed but it just gives me an excuse to get closer to her so I'm not objecting. She falls asleep and I just watch her until soon my own eyes grow heavy, all the lack of sleep over the past few weeks catching up to me.

* * *

 **APOV**

I wake about an hour after falling asleep feeling hot thanks to this Adonis draped across me. It's way too hot for me so I decide to carefully climb out of the bed.

I've been battling with this thing between exhaustion but not really being able to sleep and I guess tonight is no different.

All these things have been happening these past two weeks and I don't even know my body anymore. Most of the time I'm too tired to really do anything and I guess sometimes, like now, that includes sleep.

I sit in the daybed by the window and look at the city lights of Seattle. It isn't until now that I realize how long I've really been in here - away from fresh air, real people, and real food - and how much I just want to be out enjoying life with him. I turn back to look at my sleeping beauty. in his sleep he looks so carefree and the worry lines that usually scar his face aren't there. He actually looks peaceful. That is until he starts to stir.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asks sleepily.

"Just a little restless I guess.."

"Well if you can't sleep then I cant sleep" he says getting up.

"Don't be ridiculous. You need to rest, you have an empire to run while all I have to do is sit in this bed all day."

"I'll survive."

"Maybe but, and no offense baby, but when you don't get enough sleep you get irritated and you become even more of a grouch."

"Even more? And how do you know that?"

"Yes, even more. I can hear the way you bark at people and type your emails when you think I'm sleep. And well no one runs well on no sleep."

"Exactly."

"Okay, I'll try again." I say climbing back in to bed. i have to admit that his warmth is extremely comforting and makes me feel safe.

"I love you."

"I love you too" I say drifting off to sleep once again.

* * *

 **A/N: I am having some serious laptop problems (like someone hacking and trying to take over my computer problems) so sadly I might not be able to update for a while while I get this fixed; and for those of you who read my other stories this goes for them as well. I format in pages and then copy-and-paste which won't work properly on my phone.**

 **In the meantime I am open to suggestions, things you want to see, don't like, don't want to see, conversations you want to happen, etc. and I'll try my best to incorporate them in to what I have planned so far.**

 **As always, thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**

 ** _-Ari_**


	15. I Can't Feel My Face

**A/N: Sorry for the major delay with this story guys! My computer was hacked so it's been tricky to publish. Just so you know I have not given up on this or any of my other stories. I just need a little patience for the time being! Thanks for being such amazing readers.**

 **And as alway,** ** _Happy Reading!_**

 **-Ari**

* * *

 _Chapter 14 - I Can't Feel My Face(The Weekend)_

 _"_ _'I can't feel my face when I'm with you,_

 _but I love it,_

 _but I love it"_

* * *

 **Tuesday**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

"Who was that beautiful man I saw in your room this weekend?" Wanda asks wiggling her eyebrows. I've only known her for like a day but I already feel like she's a friend and she reminds me a lot of Kate.

"Oh, that was just Christian." I say going to nonchalant.

" _Just_ Christian, huh? Who is he to you?"

That's a good question.. "Uh.. well I guess you could say he's my boyfriend." I should really discuss that with him. i'm not one who really feels the need to 'define the relationship' as people put it but with him being so important and powerful I might want to be careful.

"He's your boyfriend and he's here with you?" she asks.

"Yeah.." I ask not really understanding her point.

"He must really care about you. This is really hard on people and if they don't need to stay some don't." She says _this_ referring to being sick.

"Really?" I ask genuinely intrigued. I guess I never really thought about someone actually leaving because of this considering the two people who do know have been here as much as they can. But then again I did think Christian would want nothing to do with me once he found out..

"Yeah. I've never been through it since my boyfriend was sick too but I've heard stories." _Was?_ "So how long have you two been together?"

"Uh.. well.. including the weekend he's spent here… like five days or so."

"Five days?!" she asks incredulously in a higher pitched voice then usual.

"Keep it down" I mutter embarrassed that those around us have stopped eating their breakfast and are now looking at us intently.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just.. wow. Five days and you guys are like attached at the hip. I know you haven't been sleeping well and I was up last night so I was going to talk to you but then I saw you guys cuddled up. Five days… you must really have something special."

"Yeah.. I think so." I smile sadly. "I just don't want something to happen and one of us ends us heartbroken."

"I know what you mean." she says sympathetically. "I met this guy while I was going in for chemo one day and we hit it off. He was my best friend and my boyfriend all rolled in to one. But his chemo wasn't working well and he got transferred.. I never knew what happened to him but it still felt like I had lost him forever and I guess I did."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay.. because although I lost him and I'm in a hospital yet again, he gave me the power to fight more and it worked. That's all anyone can ask for."

"Yeah, and you're going to beat it again. I don't know you very well but I know you still have some fight in you.

"You're damn right about that!" she laughs. "And you'll be okay too." _I really hope she's right._ "And then once we get out of here we can explore the world! I think I want to go to Spain first. What about you?"

"I would love to go to London. Some of my favourite authors were born there and of course I hear it's beautiful. But really I would love to go anywhere. I've never been out of this country and only been in a few of the many states."

"When you do get to travel make sure you make a trip to Malibu. I visited one summer with my family when i was younger and I absolutely loved it. It was really beautiful."

"I will make sure to do that. Thanks for the suggestion Wanda. Do you have a big family?" I ask trying to keep the convo going.

"Not really. It's just me, my dad, my sister, Melanie. Right now they live in Arizona. They encouraged me to move out here once they thought my remission was 'a done deal'. None of us thought it would come back but it has so here I am. Right now there are some issues with them getting up here but I talk to them everyday and they keep trying to find a way up here. You?" _Hmmm._

I pause before answering. "It's just me and my dad. He lives in Portland and owns his own security company."

"Not much of a mother huh?"

"Long story.."

We spend the rest of our time learning some small things about each other.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I had some of the best hours of sleep last night until that fucking nurse told me I had to go. I should just call the hospital and fire her. I donate enough money there, I'm sure I would have the power to if I wanted but I don't want to make Ana upset and risk my chance of not staying tonight.

I want tonight to be like over the weekend. We just talked about anything and everything trying desperately to learn everything we could about one another. That was definitely the most I've talked about myself to anyone except for maybe Flynn. That isn't saying a lot considering I'm a very closed off person but I still think it's progress. One thing that I admit I will not like about staying over is the nasty hospital food. I don't know how she eats that shit let alone has been surviving off that for the past 3 weeks.

Now I have a plan to make tonight special!

I focus back on where I am and remember that I am in fact in one of the board rooms surrounded by none other than a bunch of idiots and Ros. I look towards Taylor who is standing loyally by the door. Some unspoken communication passes between us and he comes to "alert" me that I have something to attend to.

"Excuse me gentleman. I have some business to attend to. Ros will be taking over the rest of this meeting. She is in charge." Everyone looks expectantly at Ros and while she may look calm to the rest her piercing eyes tell me she is anything but and no doubt some type of inquisition will come soon.

"Mrs. Jones" I call out. She's not in the kitchen probably because she wasn't expecting me to be home so early.

"I'm sorry Mr. Grey, I wasn't expecting you to be home. What can I get for you?"

"It's okay Gail, it was an unexpected trip home." She looks stunned, either because what I just said sounded just a little short of an apology, and I _never_ apologise or because I called her Gail. "Please sit, I want to discuss some things with you."

She sits s slightly stunned.

"As I'm sure you've noticed, I haven't been in the apartment much these past few days and I'm sure you and Taylor talk but I wanted to tell you myself and.. I wanted to ask you for help."

"Mr. Grey, I will admit I was worried about you and asked Jason if you were okay but all he told me was that you have been visiting someone."

Wow, I thought they would talk more than that to be honest. But then again whenever I'm at the hospital so is Taylor so I suppose he really hasn't had the chance to do so in more detail.

"Yes, Gail I have been visiting a woman, Anastasia." I clear my throat in an attempt to keep my emotions in check. Every time I have to think or talk about I I can feel myself getting choked up. "She's sick. She has cancer." She looks at me with compassion and puts her hand on mine. "I met her a few weeks ago and I just found out this past week. She's been in the hospital this entire time so I was wondering if you could prepare some meals for us. The hospital is very strict with their diets but they gave me her diet plan and instructions on things that I could make for her."

"And you would like me to make it?"

"Yrs, and I would like to help."

"You want to help?" she asks incredulously. I have never offered to cook or help Gail with anything so I can see where she is coming from.

"Yes."

"Okayy.." she says slowly trying to gauge the situation and probably find out the best way for me not to burn down the kitchen. "Lets try something simple tonight."

"She's sick enough, I don't need to poison her more right?" I say half jokingly and trying to lighten the mood.

"Right." She nervously chuckles.

She explains to me that we will be making baked chicken, mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli.

"Mr. Grey you can help with prep."

"Christian. We have worked together long enough that you should call me Christian."

"Okay Mr- I mean _Christian._ While the potatoes are boiling, I will season he chicken and you can start off by cutting the broccoli." she proceeds to pull out various utensils, seasonings and god knows what else while I take a seat at the breakfast bar. She places some broccoli spears, or whatever they're called, along with a cutting board and a knife in front of me. This is going to be a long journey..

* * *

 **Gail POV**

"Uhm Mr. Grey- Christian, sorry. Why don't you go get ready to leave and I will finish up here" I say eagerly. I love that man like a son and this Anastasia woman is obviously doing wonders for his personality but that positive energy doesn't extend to his skills in the kitchen. Just look at my kitchen! A simple meal turned in to a huge mess. There are broccoli florets (poor boy thought they were called spears) around, bits of potatoes and potato skins everywhere not to mention the layer of water that is gracing pretty much every surface.

As I am packing up the now finished food, Mr. G- Christian _(that's going to take some time to get used to.)_ comes in with the biggest smile on his face that I have personally ever seen. If this is the smile I get to see I suppose turning the kitchen in to a war zone was worth it. And he even said thank you on his way out! I can't wait to meet this Anastasia.

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

Christian walks in to my room with a large giddy smile and I can't help but look at him suspiciously.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks amusingly.

"Because you look suspicious."

"Suspicious hmm…?"

"Yes, very suspicious. What are you up to Mr. Grey?"

"Noothing, I just made my girlfriend dinner and am bringing it to her." He just called me his girlfriend and if I had enough energy in my I'm pretty sure I would jump for joy.

"Well I would say this girlfriend of yours is pretty special but I remember you saying that you don't, and can't cook."

"Well the lovely lady I am talking about is you. That is if you will be?"

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" I ask teasingly.

"Well yeah.." he says scratching the back of his neck a little.

"I'll make a deal. If I survive after I eat this food that _you_ prepared, then yes. I will be your girlfriend" I smile.

* * *

 **A/N: Christian in the kitchen is hardly** ** _ever_** **a good idea but wasn't it sweet of him to try?**

 **How are you guys feeling about Wanda?**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**


	16. What is this Feeling?

_Chapter 15 - What is this Feeling(Wicked)_

 _"'_ _Loathing_

 _Unadulterated loathing"_

* * *

 **Wednesday**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

I wake up really hot but I know it's not because of Christian seeing as I remember him leaving this morning, I'm just hot. I peel all the easily removable linens from my body as fast as I possibly can and still I have no relief. I must have a fever.

As if on cue a nurse walks in to take my vitals and other information. She's one of the more reserved nurses so I'm not used tot talking with her which is why I don't understand why she is asking me 'how I am feeling?' Considering this is my third week stuck in a hospital and all I really want to do is forget about ever being sick and live a happy life with Christian.. I just reply with a simple 'fine' and tell her that I'm feeling a little hot and sweaty. She just nods her head and leaves. _Weird._

"Okay, I smelt good things coming from your room las night, spill." Wanda says taking her spot in the recliner in the corner. Wanda and I have become really close since she's one of the few people I talk to here and her room is right next to mine. In the last five days since we met we eat most of out meals together and chat about everything except our cancer which I appreciate. Yes, it is important to talk about but I am already reminded by being in this damn hospital. I'm really starting to get aggravated with being here.

"Well Christian talked to the doctors and staff and they let him cook dinner for me so he brought me some yesterday."

"He cooked dinner for you?! That's so fucking sweet."

"Yeah, actually I don't think he can cook to save his life but he said he helped his housekeeper fix it."

"Housekeeper. Geez who is this guy?"

"He's just Christian. He owns his own company and it's doing really well." I don't really want someone gawking over him just yet especially the one friend I have.

"Yeah, I bet if he can afford to have a housekeeper. So when am I going to get o meet your hunk?" she asks teasingly.

"Well I thing he's going to be here everyday so you could have dinner with us and eat some real food." I joke.

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

Ill ask him."

"Cool phone!" she gasps as I pull out my new iPhone 6.

"Yeah Christian let me _borrow_ it."

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"As you know sadly, I have to go back to work tomorrow."_

 _"It's okay. As I understand, you have an empire to run."_

 _"If you day but I still wish I didn't have to leave you."_

 _"It's okay, really. Don't worry about lil ole me." I say, with my best southern/Tennessee accent I can muster, in an attempt to lighten the mood._

 _"Anastasia, I will always worry about you." he says in a serious tone. "Which is why I want you to have this phone so we will always have a way to contact each other and so I won't ever lose you again."_

 _"Well I can't run now. And I wouldn't want to now either. I love you." I say seriously._

 _"I love you too."_

 _"But.. this phone must cost a fortune, I can't accept it. You can just get me like one of those cheap phones from Target or something."_

 _As I said that he made a face. "No, unacceptable. You will accept this phone."_

 _"No, I won't" I say sweetly._

 _"You will."_

 _"I won't."_

 _We spend the next few minutes staring down each other until he finally relents and blinks._

 _"Fine." he huffs. "You can borrow this phone for the time being."_

 _"Borrow?" I ask skeptically._

 _"Yes,_ borrow _." He smirks._

 _"Fine." I say victoriously but somehow I feel like I'm the one who lost._

 _ **End of Flashback**_

* * *

"Surprise" Christian walks through the door.

"I was just about to call you. What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Uh, hi. Do you not want to see me?" he pouts feigning hurt.

"Of course I do. I'm just surprised."

He comes to give me a peck on the lips that starts out innocently but quickly turns in to something more heated. One of his hands comes to my hip and the other supports his weight on my bed while my hands make their way in to his hair to pull him closer, at this point his upper half is basically hovering me.

"Surprise!" Wanda says. I kind of really love her sense of humor but she has really bad timing. Christian jumps back so quickly it took me a second to register. I blush scarlet and look towards Wanda who is still sitting in her spot in the corner of the room.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there." Christian says a little guarded.

"Christian this is Wanda, she's staying next door." I say avoiding saying the word but hopefully he'll get the meaning, "Wanda this is Christian, my boyfriend." I say as smoothly as I can. Inside I'm jumping up and down at the fact that I just called him my boyfriend out loud for the first time. I look up and Christian has 'cat ate the canary' smile.

"Ah, the famous Christian."

 _Uh oh._ Christian and I exchange a look. He's told me how he feels about privacy and the measures he takes just to get here without being hounded. She said she saw him and with the questions she asked, I just assumed she didn't know that he's _the_ Christian Grey.

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Okay, so you want to be here but you are famous. Remember the whole we had to run away from your security just to leave your parents place thing..? If people see you coming in and out of the hospital their going to try and figure out why you're here."_

 _"I know." he sighs dejectedly. "I don't want them hounding you or putting any more stress on you."_

 _Pause._

 _"So I'll coordinate with Taylor-"_

 _"Who's that?"_

 _"He's my CPO, close protection officer. He's also the head of all my security personel. He's with me at all times. Even after we ran away he somehow tracked me and found us but kept his distance."_

 _"He found us? But.. how?" I ask a little stupefied._

 _"I don't know but it just showed me how good he is at his job. Like I was saying, he is always with me and he'll probably suggest having different vehicles leaving Grey House. I usually don't have a lot of paparazzi unless something happens but its still a good precaution. The people that I need to come across will have NDA's-"_

 _"Like your subs?" Shit. I didn't mean for that to come out._

 _"No. I also have them for business. It's a privacy thing. I pretty much own the hospital with all the money I donate and the money I donated before I found you goes directly to this ward. That's why I was here that day."_

 _"Oh."_

 _"Yeah, I can get a pass to get in with the least amount of resistance and what ever else needs to be done."_

 _"That's a lot just to come see me.." I say greatly overwhelmed._

 _"I know. But it will be worth every second." He smiles._

 _ **End of Flashback**_

* * *

"Famous how?" Christian asks on alert. I wouldn't be surprised if someone came in here with an NDA any second.

"Well I've seen you in Ana's room and she talks about you everyday. In fact we were just talking about you." She says innocently.

Christian and I breath out at the same time. I didn't even notice I was holding my breath. He looks at me for any clues and I give him a tiny nod and shrug.

"If I just witnessed what you guys do when you're here, I'm sure there hasn't been any talking let alone of me." she jokes.

"Ha ha very funny." I playfully scold.

"In fact, she has mentioned a friend. It's nice to meat you." Christian says politely and goes to shake Wanda's hand. She visibly swoons once she gets a close up look at my hunk of a man and I just roll my eyes. This is exactly what I didn't want.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask Christian now that introductions are finished. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes and no." he replies sitting in his seat in the recliner. Usually he looks comfortable but right now he looks as uncomfortable as can be. I'm not sure if it's because of his news or because someone else is in the room. He glances at Wanda before turning to me. "I have a conference call tonight with some people overseas that I can't reschedule so I thought I would bring you lunch. I'm sorry." he says regretfully.

"It's okay. And is it okay if Wanda joins us? When you came in I was calling to see if she could have dinner with us since she wanted to meet you." I say bringing Wanda back in to our world and conversation. I have to admit it is weird having someone else in the room; it's usually just Christian and I with the occasional nurse for a little while.

"Yeah, sure. I bought plenty to share." He says but I can see a hint of sadness in his eyes. I guess he wants it to be just us too.

"Thank you." she says. He gives her a tight smile.

"Maybe I should get a nurse, I have no idea whether you have food allergies or are on a different diet than Ana is and I wouldn't want you to get sicker or anything."

Wanda looks at me and give me a ' _man, he is good_ ' look that I just smirk and nod at. Yes, the megalomaniac CEO really does have a heart and cares; although I'm not sure if Wanda really knows she is talking to _the_ Christian Grey and I'm definitely glad/shocked that none of the other patients have been peering through my window as I'm sure they've seen him at some point. It's good that I have a corner room at the end of the hall.

We eat in silence which I think is mostly due to not really knowing what to say to one another. This is just an awkward situation - two people trapped in a hospital and one is free. You can't even really ask like 'where do you work' or something like that.

"This is really good. Did you make it?" Wanda asks. I know she already knows that Christian can't cook and is trying to make conversation. _At least she's trying._

"No, this one was all my housekeeper, Mrs. Jones. She's the best cook."

And there is that awkward pause again.

"Okay.. lets play a game! I announce. Everyone says what's on their mind: I'll go first. Feel like this silence is super awkward. You two have become some of the most important people in my life and I don't want it to always be like this. So, Christian, shoot."

"Okay…" he says hesitantly and there is a long pause before he continues. "I don't know what to say. I don't normally talk to anyone outside of business, family and you, Ana. So what do I say to someone I don't know who is stuck in a hospital?" It s a good question and honestly I don't know how to answer. We all sit pondering in our minds for a second.

"Okay Wanda, your turn."

"Well, when I see you here and how you and Ana react to and treat each other, I get jealous."

"Why?" Christian asks.

"Because I'm here all alone. My family can't afford to get up here and O only came here a few months ago. The only real friend I've made is Ana. I didn't make any friends before I had to come back in this damn hospital let alone ones who would be with me here through it."

I can see how visibly upset she is about her cancer coming returning. She's never been one to show emotion when it comes to us being sick and is always on the positive but this looks like the start of her breaking down and she's fighting to blink back tears. "I'm sorry. I guess once we get to know each other I'll feel more comfortable around you." she apologizes shakily. She then gets up and goes to her room.

* * *

 **A/N: I am shocked by most of your responses to Wanda, you guys are either cynical or right.. we'll see. I'm almost done writing the entire story. Just have to type most of it. I'm so excited!**

 **How do you all feel about the flashbacks? And what about Kate? Or just in general?**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc. All feedback helps._**

 ** _Also, please let me know if you are getting the emails about updates because I've been having some issues with it lately. Thanks._**

 ** _-Ari_**


	17. Lose Yourself

_Chapter 16 - Lose Yourself(Eminem)_

 _"_ _You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow_

 _This opportunity comes once in a lifetime"_

* * *

 **Thursday**

* * *

 **Christian POV**

As I make my way back to Ana's room after telling the nurses that I I will be getting her breakfast, I see Wanda awake in her room. Since yesterday didn't go all too well I decide to go and at least say good morning. Ana expressed her feelings yesterday and how she wants for things to be okay between us. And as much as I still don't know how to feel about this girl, I'll take a chance cine it means so much to Ana.

"Good morning." I say from her doorway.

"Good morning." She says back.

Silence..

"You're good for her." she says just as I was about to walk out.

 _What does she mean by that?_ "What do you mean by that?" I ask intrigued.

"When you're around it's like she's a different person; a happier person."

"Really?"

"Yeah it's completely obvious. She could be having a really bad day but as soon as you come up in conversation, or like when you came through the door yesterday, she perks up."

I can't really focus on the positive aspects of what she just said or how happy it makes me feel that I effect Ama like that knowing that Ana has bad days. What does she mean exactly by _'bad day_ '? Does she just perk up just so I don't question her when she's not feeling well or is it because I have a genuine effect on her? "What do you mean by bad days?"

"Oh.. well.. you know. We all have good and bad days." she answers evasively. Before I can question her further she goes in to her bathroom effectively dismissing me.

* * *

 **APOV**

I'm really nervous because today my dad, Ray will be stopping by. Although he may not have been here with me everyday, he always makes sure to call and check in with me at every chance he gets. I'm also really excited though because I haven't seen Ray since that week he was here when I first told him.

"So… Ray is coming here.." I say as soon as I see Christian walking back through the door.

"Good morning to you too. Ray.. as in your dad Ray?" He asks nervously.

"Yeah, he was here the first week and then had to wrap up some things at work so he could get weekends off to come visit so… he's coming tomorrow night."

"Well I can't wait to meet him."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I love you and I know he means a lot to you which means he means a lot to me so, I can't wait to meet him. Tell me more about him."

"Well, you know he's not my real dad but he's the only person I have considered my day. He's taken care of me as long as I can remember. And after things didn't work out with husband number three, he's taken care of me. He was in the military just like my real dad and owns his own security company."

Okay, so this man is not only trained to kill me but knows and employs other people who could all kill me and make it look like an accident. _Great._ I gulp loudly making Ana giggle.

"Don't worry."

"Yeah, easy for you to say." I mumble.

* * *

 **Friday**

* * *

 **CPOV**

I am genuinely nervous as fuck right now. I am Christian-fucking-Grey, master of my universe, ex-dom, and CEO of a multi billion dollar company yet here I am in the car sweating over meeting a girls father. This is complete fucking foreign territory and I feel as though I'm about to throw up.

I know I should go in there; I don't want either one of them to think I bailed. What kind of impression would that make? Maybe I should have been there earlier. _Fuck!_

"What should I do Taylor?" I ask. He eyes me speculatively. I keep forgetting that he doesn't really know what goes on in the walls of this hospital or between Ana and I. "Ana's dad is in there and this is my first time meeting him."

"I assume you are talking about Ray Steele?" He asks. "I did a background check when you first ran off." He adds.

"Yes, of course. Just for clarification I don't want access to that. Anything I lear about Ana will be from her." I say sternly and he nods his understanding. "Yes, Ray Steele. What should I do. You were in the military.." I say as if both of them being in the military should be a cure to my dilemma.

"Well, the best advice I can give is to be honest with him."

"Honest.. I can do that." I say before getting out of the SUV.

I make my way to Ana's room where I see she is already sleeping but there is a man, who I will assume is Mr. Steele, sitting in one of the chairs. I think it would be creepy to just stand and wait outside so I guess I will take the plunge and go in.

He looks up as soon as I walk in the room.

"Mr. Steele, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Christian Grey—"

"I know who you are." he says stoically. He eyes me up and down making me feel extremely uncomfortable but I stay still to not show my anxiety.

"Daddy. Stop being mean." a little sleepy voice whines. "Hi Christian." she smiles.

"Hey baby." I say and go to kiss her cheek.

"As I'm sure you know, this is Christian.. the boyfriend I've been telling you about."

"Yes, I know." He holds out his hand to shake and squeezes my hand in a death grip making me wince slightly.

"Dad!" Ana scolds weekly and he lets go. I look over at Ana who just shrugs her shoulders in an apology. "Did you bring it?" She asks her dad.

"Of course I did. Does the boy know how to play?" He asks like I'm not in the room.

"Do you know how to play parcheesi?" Ana asks me.

"Uh.. no. Is that a card game?"

"Oh my goodness! Daddy set it up!" She asks perking up and getting in a sitting position. "Okay, it's my favorite board game and all you have to do is get around the board to your safe zone and then in to your home base. You have to get all four of your pieces there to win." she explains excitedly.

We spend the next hour and a half playing parcheesi which Ana, of course, eventually wins while I still have three of my pieces stuck and one on the board with Ray on my tail. I'm glad Ana isn't awake to see me losing this badly; she would probably laugh at me.

And then he rolls a three.. now all my pieces are stuck! I involuntarily huff loudly to myself.

"I think maybe that's enough losing for you today." Mr. Steele declares.

I agree and we start to put the pieces away and the board back up.

"Thank you." he says looking at me once we are finished. I look at him not quite sure what to say because I'm definitely not sure what he is thanking me for. "For being here with her."

"Mr. St-"

"You can call me Ray." _Victory!_

"Ray, I love your daughter with all my heart. I know you don't know me well-"

"I know you better than you think I do." _Huh?_ "I know Annie has probably told you I run a security company and the main role of that company is keeping Annie safe. That includes background checks and anything else I deem necessary." he states strongly. _What exactly does he know?_ "I know a lot about you from those reports and statements but I also know there is more to you than what is on that paper. Therefore, I trust you with my baby girl."

"I love her Ray. I can't say I'm perfect or that we won't fight or I won't just do something stupid sometimes, but I would never intentionally hurt her. And I will protect her for as long as I live."

"I know." he states with a smile. "That's why when the time comes…" _Did he just give me per-_ "I trust you Christian. And again, thank you for being here. But if I _ever_ hear you did something wrong to my baby or put her in harms way, I will personally feed you your balls on a platter." he smiles the last part of that threat making it all the more menacing.

"Understood." I hold my hand out to signify that I accept his terms. I prepare myself for the bone crunching but instead I get a firm shake and a warm smile which I reciprocate.

* * *

 **Ray POV**

I've done some research on this Grey character as soon as my little Annie told me about him. His background check and surveillance turned up little about him. According to some business associates and employees he's a ruthless guy with a bad temper and no heart. They did say he was smart though but also very isolated from his family and well.. everyone.

I don't know where they guy is because Christian is nothing like he looks on paper. I can tell this man really cares for my Annie and that's all I could ever ask for.

* * *

 **Christian POV(on his way home)**

Being with Mr. Steele, or Ray as he told me to call him, yesterday has actually been a really great experience. It makes me think of the relationship I have with my dad. Ever since I dropped out of Harvard our relationship has really been strained to say the least. I decide to give him a call.

* * *

 **Dr. Hamburg POV**

"Dr. Hamburg here's the report you requested." A lab aide hands me the files.

"Thank you."

I ordered an extra WBC(white blood cell count) and RBC(red blood cell count) for my patient Anastasia Steele today after she complained of feeling slightly clammy. Her cell count has remained stable since admission which can be a good thing but it also means that the chemo may not be functioning properly. The latest report shows a slight drop her numbers which is to be expected and it could mean that the chemo is finally starting to make its way in to her system and do its job. Hopefully those cells will regenerate themselves and even out these numbers again. I will be keeping a close eye on her though.

* * *

 **A/N: I know its a lot of Christian POV lately so let me know if you want me to change it up or write a certain chapter in another POV.** **Also, do you want me to keep posting a couple of chapters or just put the rest of the story up?**

 **Thanks for reading! _Please review, comment, ask question, etc. All feedback helps._**


	18. Inside Out

_Chapter 17 - Inside Out(Bryan Adams)_

 _"_ _I wanna take my time_

 _I wanna know your mind_

 _You know there ain't no doubt_

 _I wanna know you inside out"_

* * *

 **Saturday**

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I'm really worried about Ana. All week she has seemed to be getting worse. The nurses say that it's just the side effects from all the medicine and things but she has been tired. Yesterday she had a fever and she's been up and talking and playing but sometimes when she might think I'm not looking she shows her real emotions. But if I tell her I'm worried or show it, I might freak her out so for now I will play it cool.

"Morning sunshine."

"Goodmorning sweetheart." she replies cheekily. "You weren't joking when you said you would be here as soon as they would let you in."

"No, I was not joking at all. I promised you and I don't break promises easily."

"Well in that case, feel free to take up your usual spot."

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" I say suspiciously eyeing the covered tray on her rolling table.

"No.. I'm not really feeling all that great and I'm not hungry."

"But you should eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Would it be better if I asked Gail to make us something?"

"No, I don't think it would make much of a difference.."

"Okay.." I'm certainly not okay with her not eating especially with all the weight it seems she has already lost in here but I can't really force her to eat.

As I take my seat in the recliner that I move to the side of the bed so that I am facing her the silence continues to grow.. She looks.. different.

"I really liked you dad?"

"Really?" _Really? That's all she says._

"Yeah. Did he say anything to you this morning?"

"Well of course he hates you," she says deadpan. When I start to panic she continues "because he's my dad… But I think you won him over. Before he left for the night he said that he was impressed and grateful for all that you've done for me while in here. And the fact that he can actually beat someone at uno _and_ made him like you more."

"That game is rigged!" I lost every single round of uno until I eventually threw all my cards down in frustration and refused to play again.

"It is not, you're just a sore loser. What did you two talk about after I fell asleep, which I'm sorry about."

"Don't worry about it. If not you it would have been one of us. He just told me that if I ever do anything to hurt you that he "has connections"."

"Ah! The good ole father-boyfriend 'hurt my baby girl and I will kill you thing'?"

"Seemed like it. And not that I would ever intentionally hurt you, but I am definitely deterred by your fathers stern warning."

"Yeah, good ole' papa bear." she yawns.

"Tired?" it's only 11am.

"Yeah, I didn't really get much sleep last night." I can tell that she's not telling me the complete truth but I'm not sure why.

"Okay, you sleep, I'll watch."

"You are such a stalker Mr. Grey" she says as she turns over to find a comfortable position and tries to fall asleep but instead turns back to me.

"Tell me about yourself.." she says cryptically.

"What do you mean?" I've already told her about my life start and all the fucked up-ness that followed.

"Well, you've told me your life story and I told you mine. I get that it's important and I know more about you than anyone else but I still kind of feel like I don't know you..." she pauses waiting for some kind of response but I don't have one as I still don't know where this is going, "I want to know your favorite foods, I want to know about the work you do, your favorite author. Things like that.."

"I never really thought about it."

"Yeah, me neither until recently.. I just want to know more about you. Usually people find out stuff like that when they're out together or on a date but since I'm still stuck in here, why don't we play like 20 questions."

"20 questions?" I ask.

"Yeah. One of us asks a question and we both have to answer."

"Okay.. you go first."

"Okay. My favorite food is pizza. What's yours?"

"Mac and cheese hands down. If you could go back in time, where would you go and why? I would go to 1960s - the start of the space race. It's pretty cool all the different methods and technology that developed."

"I would also go back to the 1960s but for John." She smiles. _The fuck?_

" _John?_ "

"Yes. John F. Kennedy. He was just so inspirational. How many pillows do you sleep with?"

"That's a weird question. I have some on my bed but I only really use one."

"Well weird questions are good. Usually I don't like to sleep with a pillow.. they get too hot."

"Okay my turn.. do you like roller coasters? I do."

"Not really.. they seem fun and I have fun when it's over but during I'm terrified. I hate that stomach dropping feeling; it's weird."

 _..Some questions later.._

"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" I ask.

She stays quiet and doesn't answer but only looks off in the distance.

"Well, in ten years, I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing but I hope to be doing it with you." I tell her honestly.

"What's your biggest fear?" She asks.

"Losing you." I state simply.

"Losing you is my biggest fear too.." I go to hug her and I just hold her in my arms for a while while we solemnly ponder our fears. Eventually she falls asleep but I don't want to let her go so I lay down with her. The feeling of her warmth comforts me and eventually I fall in to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

Everything hurts. I can hear people around me but I can't respond. Someone is by my side though. I open my eyes. It's blurry but I can see them. I see.. is that.. Christian. And he's with a little boy and a girl. They're all looking at me. I try to smile but but I don't think it made it there.

"It's okay sweetie. You can go now." Christian chokes out. _What is he talking about?_

"We love you mommy." The little girl says.

"We'll miss you." The little boy says.

 _Mommy? Is he talking to me? What's going on._

"It's okay."

"We love you." My eyes start to close.

"We'll miss you."

"Just sleep." No. No! I don't want to sleep! NO!

"Sleep."

"Why does mommy have to die?" I hear the little girl say.

 _What?! Die?! ME!? NO. NO. NO. NO. NO._

I want to wake up. Why can't I wake up. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to die.

"NOOOOOOO!"

 **Christian POV**

"NOOOOOOO!" she shoots up in bed screaming.

"Ana! Ana wake up! Wake up."

"No. No. No. No. No." She mumbles as I rock her as gently as possible while she cries hysterically.

"It's okay. It's okay. You're here. I'm here.. it was just a dream. Go back to sleep. It was just a dream." I try soothe her and somewhat soother myself as well. Seeing her like his is making me crazy with worry and fear; breaking my heart.

"No. Pleaassee. I don't want to.." she sobs.

* * *

 **A/N: I've decided to post the rest of the chapters one by day in order to get some feedback and do any necessary corrections. With that being said, there are nine more chapters in this story so far. This has been a great journey with you guys and yes, this part is still HEA but we're not out of the woods yet.**

 **Also, I'm looking for a better summary for this story since the one I have now kind of sucks. PM me if you have any suggestions! Much appreciated.**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc. All feedback helps._**


	19. Something There

_Chapter 18 - Something There(Beauty and the Beast)_

 _"'_ _There's something sweet and almost kind_

 _But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined_

 _And now he's dear and so unsure_

 _I wonder why I didn't see it there before"_

* * *

 **Grace POV**

This is what I always wanted. My entire family is here. They are not only here physically, which is a miracle in itself these days, but they are all engaged and interacting like never before. Elliot and Mia have always been okay when it came to communicating, joking around or playing. But Christian.. My baby boy, I really worry about him. Of all three he was in the worst state by far when Carrick and I adopted him. I don't thing he's ever really stopped being that lost boy from the hospital. He's never been normal, always on guard and jaded.

So imagine my surprise when he called Carrick a few days ago 'just to talk.' He told him that he would be coming by for Sunday brunch but I didn't really want to get my hopes up. But then, he actually showed up! Now I look at him and he looks different.. Happy somehow. He even looked at his phone when it rang and I expected him to pick it up but he ignored it. I don't know what's gotten in to him but I like it.

I see Christian looking speculatively so I follow his gaze to see Taylor standing in the doorway with his phone in his hand. His face is heavy with emotion - fear, panic and maybe even some pity.. "Christian" he says. I know he takes his professionalism seriously so I am bewildered by his address. Christian however must understand because he get up from the table and rushes after Taylor without so much as a word.

* * *

 **Carrick POV**

I look at my family around the table and see everyone with a smile on their faces. I can't believe what I am actually looking at.

* * *

 ** _Flashback_**

 _"Christian.. is everything okay?" I answer my phone. Christian never calls, especially not in the past month or so, unless it's something extremely important._

 _"Uh yeah.. I guess I just wanted to call and talk.."_

 _"Oh."_

 _"I guess I don't do it that often do I?"_

 _"No, you don't. But neither do I."_

 _"Yeah. I'm really just calling to tell you how much I.. appreciate you I guess. For being there even when I was being a fuck up. So thanks."_

 _I don't know what to say. This is probably the most honest conversation we have ever had._

 _"Of course son. I love you. We all do."_

 _There's a pause.. "I love you guys too." he says solemnly._

 _"Are you sure everything is okay?" I ask again. I don't say I don't like the change within him but it is exactly that - change. And Christian Trevelyan-Grey does not normally do change._

 _He sighs before he answers giving me another hint that something is indeed off. "Yeah.. well it will be.."_

 _"Okay. Well if you need any help with anything you know you can come to us."_

 _"Yes, thanks. How is everyone. I know I've been distant these past few weeks and I'd like to apologize for that."_

 _Okay, he just apologized.. What's going on?_

 _"Yes. Everyone is fine just missing you is all."_

 _"Well I'll be coming to dinner on Sunday."_

 _What did he just say? "You know your mother likes to call it_ brunch. _"_

 _"Yeah, I don't see why though since it starts so late. Never the less, I will be there."_

 _"Good to hear."_

 _"Yeah.. so I'll see you guys Sunday."_

 _"See you Sunday." I hang up. I have to say in the past 24 years that Christian has been in my life that is probably the most we have had a genuine conversation. I wonder what has inspired this change in him..._

 ** _End of Flashback_**

* * *

I was am still skeptical as to what has inspired, for lack of a more precise word, this change in my son. Whatever it is it must be something special. Perhaps a big deal he has been working on has him in good spirits. Regardless, I am happy that my family is happy.

I see Christians CPO, Jason Taylor, come in to the archway of the kitchen. I was about to address him, and possibly call him out for ruining this moment, until I saw the look on his face. "Christian" he says deadpan and looking him in the eye. There must have been some unspoken communication because Christian gets up from the table without a word and rushes after Taylor while we are all just looking around the table trying to figure out what we missed.

* * *

 **Elliot POV**

My lil' bro is actually ribbing me and calling my _Lelliot_. Tonight it's like he actually wants to be here. Dad actually told us that Christian called and said he would be here. I wonder whats got him like this. Maybe its a girl?.. or a guy? Who the fuck knows. This dude is so secretive and he's never bought anyone home or anything. Whatever or whoever it is I want to find out, and I won't rest until I do. I really hope he finally got laid, he's too old to still be a virgin.

"Christian" Taylor announces his presence cutting my line of thinking short. Christian looks somewhere between, I've seen a ghost, I'm going to be sick, and just pure.. fear. He rushes away from the table and follows behind Taylor who I guess is the reason for the sudden change.

* * *

 **Mia POV**

I can't believe my big brother actually decided to join us for brunch! I don't know why mom insists on calling it brunch when we basically start right before dinner time. But anyway he's here! And he's different. He actually looks content and even smiled at a few of Elliot's bad jokes and crazy stories.

I heard his phone buzz under the table and he turned it off.. Mister 'what if I have an important call or something happens at the office' turned his phone off so he could _enjoy(?)_ dinner with his family. I thought I'd never see the day. We all look at him like he's crazy and he just shrugs it off.

"Christian" Taylor announces. Then, Christian's face changes in an instant and he quickly gets up from the table without even excusing himself. I look and see as he rushes off behind Taylor. Taylor has never interrupted us before so this must be important..

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I'm actually genuinely happy that I decided/Ana made me come to dinner with my family. Spending time with Ana this past week and knowing how her relationship with Carla is, but how her and Ray interact… it just made me think about my own family. This isn't one of our typical family dinners where I can barely wait to get out of here. Before I felt unworthy of their love, and I still do to some extent, but I also feel appreciative of it. Loving Ana and letting her love me has changed everything. I can actually enjoy the company of my family and for once in my life, I feel some sense of normalcy. The thought brings a smirk to my face but the feel of my phone buzzing quickly wipes it away. The damn thing is always buzzing, someone always needs something from me. The number isn't one that I recognize so I decide to ignore the call all together - it's probably business related anyway and right now I am here with my family. The second place I want to be; the first being with Ana of course. The thought of Ana brings a genuine half smile to my face. I can't wait to see her later and tell her how the night went.

I see Taylor rushing towards us and he stops at the archway with his phone in his hand. His usual impassive face is now full of panic, and fear. I've never seen him show much emotion let alone something like this. I catch his eyes and realize that something must be really wrong and all I can think about is Ana. "Christian." he says with as even a voice as possible but I know him well enough to know that something is off. I rush away from the table and behind Taylor who takes us out of earshot before handing me the phone..

* * *

 **Taylor POV**

As I am sitting in the security quarters of the Grey Mansion I think about how much the Boss has changed since the night of the Coping Together Gala. I don't know much about Anastasia, other than what her background check said and I'm genuinely intrigued as to why he hasn't asked us to run one. I don't think I he's even realised it. I haven't seen them interact since as soon as he hits the hospital doors he always just lets me go home and that he'll call when he's ready. At first I didn't feel comfortable with it but the hospital is very secure and it's good to actually be home with Gail more often. My musings were interrupted by my phone ringing. It's an unknown number to me but I cautiously answer it anyway.

"Taylor."

"Hello, is a Mr. Grey there?" A woman asks.

"Who is this?" I ask a little on edge now. My information isn't just available to anyone..

"My name is Dr. Hamburg. If you know where Mr. Grey is I need to speak with him urgently." I'm out my chair and walking briskly to the dining room as soon as the woman said her name. I'm still not sure how she got my number but I do know that she is Ana's oncologist and that means something might have happened at the hospital.

I walk in to the dinning room and see the _entire_ family interacting and the Boss smiling but his demeanor changes. He looks mad that I'm interrupting which I never do. But even I can tell my face looks worried.

"Christian." I say announcing myself in to the room. All the Greys look at me expectantly and speculatively. They understand I take my professionalism seriously, after all Mrs. Grey always asks me to call her Grace but I refuse, but this is a personal matter. Boss quickly understood the silent message sent in my announcement and rushes after me. We go in to the living room so he is out of earshot since I don't think they know about Ana yet and I honestly don't know what the doctor is going to say.

I don't want to be the one to say anything to him about it so I just hand him the telephone.

"Grey" he barks slightly irritated and panicky.

He is silent for some time listening to the doctor but then drops the phone. He is deathly quiet but his entire body is pale, he keeps swallowing and it looks like he is trying to control his emotions and gasping for air at the same time. I'm not quite sure what to do so I resolve to moving him to a seat as quickly as I can while calling out for Mrs. Grey.

She comes in the room with the entire family behind her. She tries to go near him but but he quickly stands up panting. He composes himself enough to excuse himself from the rest of the meal with me in tow.

As soon as we are in the car he starts rocking himself. _Literally rocking._ Not to mention that he elected to sit in the front. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't allow it seeing as the back is generally safer but these are _not_ normal circumstances. I've never seen him like this.

I gently ask him to buckle his seatbelt and take of for the hospital. He's stopped rocking but his head is in his hands and every now and again, I can hear him mumble Ana's name.

I head off to the hospital as fast as possible.

* * *

 **Only eight more chapters to go!**

 **Thanks for reading! _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**


	20. I Am the One

**_Sorry for the huge cliffhanger but here it is. *Tissue Box Alert*_**

 _Chapter 19 - I Am the One(Next to Normal)_

 _"'_ _I am the one who'll hold you,_

 _I am the one who'll stay,_

 _I am the one_

 _I won't walk away."_

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

I look at my bald head and gaunt reflection in the mirror. I look the same I guess.. Okay, not really. Without a scarf or something on, I look Rufus from Kim possible. You know the naked mole rat except I have eyebrows. Wait, didn't he have eyebrows? Why am I even seriously thinking about this? I double over the sink laughing. This is probably the hardest I've laughed by myself in a really long time but when I open my eyes I see specs of red in the sink. _Okay, calm down. They said this could happen.. just get some tissue._

Oh no, the tissue is soaked. _Okay, just get some more calm down._ I can't calm down. My heart is racing and the blood.. it.. it won't stop. No.. no no no no this is not happening. _Just ask for help. Pull the string._ Right.. Okay, pull the string. I can do that. I pull it and for some dumb reason look back in the mirror. There's blood all over my face and my shirt and in the sink and some on the floor.. Oh my god, oh my god, I can't breathe.. The walls are closing in.. I sink down to the floor and the last thing I see is all the blood everywhere before it goes dark...

I shoot up out of my bed to look right at Christian.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I couldn't make it to the oncology ward fast enough. All the damn doctor would tell me is that Ana had me as an emergency contact and that they couldn't reach Ray but wanted someone there when she woke up.

 _WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE MEAN BY THAT?! When she woke up, that means she's not just sleeping right? Like they did something to her. And you only call emergency contacts when there is an emergency. Emergency and cancer don't go well in my brain._ I rub my face for about the thousandth time in the 20 minutes it has taken us to get here.

I walk in to Dr. Hamburgs office to see her looking over a file with a frown on her face but she quickly removes it once she looks up and sees me.

"Mr. Grey. Please sit." I do so unwillingly. All I want to do is go see Ana and make sure she is okay.

"I just want to let you know that I also called Mr. Steele. He was already back in Montesano but will be here as soon as he can. I called you both to be here for Anastasia. There have been some complications with her first round of chemotherapy-"

"What kind of complications?"

"Her first round didn't work. I have been monitoring her levels the past few days but today it took an unexpected drop-"

"Okay. Why can't Ana just tell me all of this?" I ask. _Just get to the damn point already._

"Today Ana had a nosebleed." I'm about to interrupt to ask another question but she continues "The bleed was rather heavy but we were able to stabilize it thankfully without the need for cauterization. However, Ana did pass out."

"WHAT?!" I yell getting up and heading for the door to go see her.

"Mr. Grey, I am pretty certain that she just had a mild panic attack is all. I called you here to be here for her and keep her calm when she gets the news."

I walk out of her office without another word. I go in to Ana's room to find her in her bed. She looks cleaned up but her nose is still packed with gauze that has a little blood on it. I can't believe this is happening. I can't lose her. I just can't. I don't know what I would do without her.

She starts to move around and I look at her expectantly hoping that she actually wakes up.

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.. look at what I've done...

"Hey" he smiles. "How are you feeling." he asks with concern in his eyes. I can't respond. He shouldn't be here. This shouldn't have happened..

I swallow the lump in my throat and close my eyes to fight away my tears. "Go" I say with as much strength as I can but it really only comes out as a whisper; but he heard it.

"What?" he whispers back. I can see the hurt on his face and it's too much to bear, I have to look away.

"Just please go. Leave." I say with a little more strength and conviction this time.

"Don't do this." he pleads. I still can't look at his face but I can only imagine what it looks like.

I can't say anything else. Its all just too much. I press the button for the nurse as Christian makes his way over to me. He puts his fingers under my chin much like he did when he first found me only a week ago. And just like last time, I can't look at him. I keep my eyes closed but I can feel his face getting closer to mine. He kisses me and I have to kiss back.. this could be our last kiss. I kiss him with all I can and he does the same. He pulls away and I know my tears have leaked through because he wiped them with the pad of his thumb.

"Please." I beg.

"Look at me." I can't. I shake my head out of his grasp. "I won't give up on you."

I press the button for the nurse more. I can't take this. I can't do this anymore. I can't hurt him even more.

I hear the door open and I'm pretty sure its a nurse. _Finally._

"I won't give up on you. I love you." he says one last time. I cave and glance up at him. He looks so pained and there are tears streaming down his face. I look away again as the nurse instructs him to leave. The nurse asks me if I'm okay and I just nod my head giving her the okay to leave.

* * *

 **Wanda POV**

I saw a really upset Christian come out of Ana's room a few minutes ago and usually when he comes out he's smiling or pouting like a lovesick puppy. I think I should go check on her.

"Dad, can you please wheel me next door real quick?" I ask. Now a days I really don't have that much energy to do much myself.

He wheels me to the door and I go in by myself and go to her bedside. "Hey Ana." She turns around at my voice and shakes her head. I see the gauze in her nose that has some blood stains on it mixed with her new tears. "Nosebleed?" I ask. She nods her head.

"It's not working." she whispers. In situations like ours, you don't need much context to understand the meaning of those words.

"Well.. that's okay. Just try a new concoction." I say as nonchalantly as I can. The truth is, I'm in the exact same position as her. My chemo isn't working either after many different tries. I'm currently waiting for a bone marrow donor but with my family not being a match, immune system, blah blah.. I don't know what's gonna happen to me.

She doesn't say anything else but I see the fight and the spunk that is usually in her eyes has gone. She deserves more than this..

Just as I'm about to talk some more, Dr. Hamburg comes in essentially booting me from the room. I give Ana another small smile before I leave.

 _She has to fight.._

* * *

 **Taylor POV**

Boss comes back out to the car surprisingly quick. Usually, I don't stay but seeing as this was an emergency I thought it would be best to stay and boy was I right.

He comes out of the hospital visibly upset, red and raking his hands through his hair. I don't know what happened in there but I know it can't be good.

He comes back in to the car slamming the door with so much force if the glass wasn't tempered I don't doubt that the glass would have had some damage. But nothing could have prepared me for when I turned around to see Mr. Grey silently sobbing in to his hands. Working this man for the past four years I have only seen him cry once, which was with/about Ms. Steele, but this looks like a complete breakdown. I shoot off a quick emergency text to John Flynn, Christians shrink and make my way to his office.

Okay, I tried. Meeting with Dr. Flynn was a bust. Flynn says that Mr. Grey was completely unresponsive although he did stop bawling. He says he just stared out the window the entire time.

He did give me what I think is an appreciative nod once he came out of the office; Usually I would have expected him to punch me or try to fire me.

Luke Sawyer, my second hand and person in the charge of Escala security tonight, alerted me that the entire Grey family arrived shortly after we left for the hospital a few hours ago and won't leave.

"Mr. Grey, your family is waiting for you in the penthouse."

No response.. well he can't say I didn't warn him. They must be confused and worried about the show that he gave earlier. _Shit_ , even I'm still slightly confused and I probably know the most information about this situation.

* * *

 **Anastasia POV** ** _(later that night.)_**

"No, you said that me being here would help you all monitor me and keep me safe. What happened to me earlier was not my definition of safe. This is my third week being here and _now_ you tell me that my chemo hasn't been working. What the hell were you guys doing for three weeks? Huh?..." I huff out. "Just leave me alone." I turn over in my bed and close my eyes in hopes that she will leave.

 **Dr. Hamburg POV**

I look at my patient Anastasia Steele and.. I feel bad. As a doctor you are supposed to take care of your patients and on some level, she is right. I saw the numbers drop but I didn't think things would progress as quickly as they have. If she doesn't let me help her though, soon there won't be much else I can do. As a doctor you know you can't save everyone but it's hard to see people just give up.. I walk out of her room defeated.

* * *

 **Man, this chapter was hard to write but I hope you guys liked it. Only seven more chapters to go!**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**


	21. Without You

_Chapter 20 - Without You(Rent)_

 _"'_ _Life goes on_

 _but I'm gone_

 _'_ _Cause I die without you"_

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I still can't believe any of this. Some hours ago, I was happily chatting away at dinner with my family but now my whole world has been flipped upside down.

The elevator ride upstairs is painful. Not only because it feel like the world is closing in on me but also because I know that my family is probably eagerly waiting for me on the other side and I honestly do not want to talk about this situation, they don't even know about Ana.

All my brooding these past few hours has helped me come up with a plan and I don't have time for distractions. This has to be perfect.

The elevator doors open and it is unusually quiet. _Maybe they left?_

No chance. Once past the foyer I see all of my family members staring at me expectantly. I can see the shock on their faces; it's no doubt I look horrible. I have been crying for what feels like endless days, I've been tugging at my hair non mercifully and my clothes are a mess.

"Son." My mom is the first to speak. "Are you okay?"

I don't answer her. No. I'm not okay, the love of my life is laying in a hospital fighting for her life but just kicked me out and is probably giving up more with each second that passes.. But they don't need to know all that and I'm not up for explaining the billions of questions that would inevitably follow.

"What's going on?" My father asks stepping close to me. I now realize that I haven't moved but before he can get to me, I back away and make a beeline for my room. Just before I open my door I turn back to my family, "don't worry".

* * *

 **Grace POV**

Don't worry. _Don't worry._ ** _DON'T WORRY?!_**

My youngest son basically has a break down in the middle of a family brunch, in which he was surprisingly _there_ and he looked _happy_ , goes missing for hours, comes back looking like crap and then ignores us other than telling us 'don't worry'. _Is he insane?_

"Taylor!" I call out knowing he is around somewhere.

"Yes, ma'am." He responds rightfully sheepish.

"What is going on with my son." I demand. Everyone else is unusually quiet and I look to see them all staring at me. I guess I've never really been the demanding or aggressive type but something is definitely and seriously wrong here.

His usually impassive face is stained with confusion, uncertainty and resistance.

"Honestly, I do not know." He answers. I can see the honesty in his eyes but he's his security, right hand man, and probably best friend(although he won't admit it), he should have some clue as to what's going on.

"Just tell us you will keep an eye on him." Carry asks Taylor after a moment of silence.

"Of course" Taylor nods and makes his exit.

"Carry!"

"Look. We all need to go home and get some rest. He's a grown man and he has some of the best people looking after him. We don't want to pressure him so he can push us away any further. Something is obviously bothering him and he obviously wants to be alone. Let's just give him some space." He tries to reason.

Elliot is somberly shaking his head in agreement and Mia is just sitting there looking dazed. She and Christian have always been the closest and seeing him like this must be the ultimate shock.

I guess sitting here for more hours won't change or help anything... Why does my husband always have to be right?

"I guess your right." I sigh. "But I hope he knows we're all here for him." I slightly yell hoping he can hear me through the walls.

Thankfully, I think he does. By the time we make it to the elevator, he is right behind us looking cleaned up but still not his usual. "Thank you for understanding. I know you are all here for me and I will be able to explain but not now."

I look at my son who has always been troubled and can only hope that he will be okay. I only ever remember seeing him this broken the first few years after we brought him home. It took forever for him to be able to be where he is now and I don't know if I'll be able to help him again.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

Finally. My family has left and I can focus on my plans. The slight noise and conversation I could hear through my door was too distracting. Why I insisted on one way soundproof, I don't know. Now, I actually think going to my study would be the best place to focus.

I sit at my desk and go over my plan again in my mind. Just as I finish and go over to my Mac, Gail nervously peaks her head through the door.

"Mr. Grey, do you need anything?" She asks.

"Gail, no need for formalities, you can still call me Christian."

"I'm sorry. To be honest, I wasn't sure what kind of mood you were in."

"I understand. And I know you're worried too.. But... I don't know. I could use your help with something actually."

"Sure, what would you like me to prepare?" She asks getting ready to leave.

"No, it's nothing like that. Please sit." I gesture to the couch and come to sit across from her. "I need your help with flowers."

She stares at me stupefied for a few moments opening and closing her mouth many times while I anxiously wait for her reply. "Uhm.. Flowers. Certainly what kind of flowers?"

"I need fake flowers that look and feel real. Real flowers and plants aren't allowed in to the ward but I need to bring Ana some.. A lot actually. One sec, this involves Taylor too."

I buzz Taylor through the intercom to let him know that his assistance is needed. I gesture for him to take a seat near Gail and he nervously does so putting his arm lovingly around her shoulder. Normally I would never allow such a public affection to show but nothing has been normal here for some time. They are both looking up at me expectantly.

I sit down across from them. "Ana isn't doing well.. At all. Her.. It's not working and.. Things are just hard right now." I say fighting the knot in my throat that always appears when talking about this situation. "I have a plan.."

* * *

 **I was kind of fighting with myself on whether or not Grace would think of Jason Taylor as Jason or Taylor. Any thoughts? And who out of all the POV's do you like the most? Just curious.**

 **Only six more chapters to go!**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**

 ** _P.S: Some of you may have reviewed the last chapter and once the site stops being glitchy, I can reply but I assure you, I have seen them. With that being said, any_** ** _recommendations for a backup site? Thanks._**

 ** _-Ari_**


	22. No One is Alone

**A/N: I know some of you are less than pleased about the situation between Christian and his family. I should remind you guys that although we are seeing a different more compassionate side of Christian, it's only really with Ana. No one knows about them (something they have both previously agreed on(and will be written about in one of the later chapters) except Taylor and Gail. They are the two people who have been the closest to him for the past four/five years. And I'm not mad or anything, just trying to explain and hopefully make you understand better.**

 **Also, sorry for the delay. Real life sucks. But happy reading!**

 **-Ari**

* * *

 _Chapter 21 - No One is Alone(Into the Woods)_

 _"'_ _You are not alone_

 _Believe me_

 _No one is alone_

 _Truly."_

* * *

I call Ros and Andrea in to my office much like I did just a week ago but this time my mood anywhere near the same. They both come in much like they did before - Andrea timid, probably thanks to my mood and Ros pissed off because I'm messing with her schedule.

"Ladies." I acknowledge them. "I am taking some time off. I don't know how much time it will be so for the time being, Ros, you will be acting CEO and Andrea you will be working with Olivia in helping get Ros' schedule together. I will still be in town so if, and only if, my presence is immediately needed, I will be able to make it. You can go for now Andrea."

She scuttles out of the room obviously reeling from all the change I just implemented. Ros is simply staring at me open mouthed and wide-eyed.

"Okay, Christian. What's going on?" She asks in all seriousness. This isn't the snarky comment that I expected and it throws me off a bit.

"Look, I know we currently have that deal with the Taiwanese but I have some urgent family business to attend to. I am confident in your ability to close this deal but if they give you grief, let me know."

"Family emergency. Is everything alright?"

"Hopefully it will be" I respond while gathering some important things from my office.

"Okay, well I'll hold down the fort. Let me know if you need anything." Ros says as she is walking out.

And as she is walking out somehow Elena makes her way in.

"Christian, how lovely to see you."

How _the fuck_ did she make it in to this building let alone in my office and on my sofa.. The sofa that I will now have to burn.. "Elena. I'm busy. What are you doing here?"

"Darl-"

"Don't even finish that word."

"You're tense. I know you said you were taking a break from the lifestyle but its been a year. Do I need to remind you what you've been missing?" she asks batting her eyelashes. I can tell she's attempting to be sexy but all it's doing is make me want to puke.

"Actually, I am no longer interested in the lifestyle and don't see me being interested in it, and especially not you, in the future. Now, get out of my office."

"You can't mean that. What are you going to do? Try _vanilla._ People like us don't do that. You need to get a release from somewhere. The tension is just radiating off of you."

The tension I feel is because instead of leaving to put my plan in action and hopefully start a new life with the love of my life, I'm standing here looking at you botox-ed face. "I'm fine. This is the last time I will tell you to leave before I have you escorted out."

"Okay, fine. I don't know what cane you've been having up your ass lately but eventually you will see that I'm right. Ta-ta" she waves her talons back at me as she walks to the

* * *

As quickly as I can, u make my way back downstairs. _I shouldn't have been up there that long in the first place. Fucking Elena._

Taylor is diligently waiting for me in front of the building. I do a mental checklist of everything. This has to be perfect.. She has to know how much she really means to me.

* * *

"I'm sorry sir, but that patient doesn't have anyone on her visitors list right now."

"Look." I say as nicely as I can and giving what Ana once described as a panty-dropping smile. "We had an argument the other night and she's mad but I'm here to make it up to her. Can I just go for a few minutes."

She bats her eyelashes at me obviously effected by me. _It's just a face._ "If I could help I would but.. I can't sorry." she says and then turns around to look through some papers. I'm not sure if she did this on purpose or not but I'll take my chance.

I rush past her as quickly as I can and get down the hall out of her view. Then, not to seem too suspicious, calmly make my way down to Ana's room.

I walk in to her room and she is looking out the window from her bead. She hasn't turned to me but I know she can feel me. From the first time we looked in to each others eyes, there has always been this spark when we are near each other.

I stand there for a few minutes but she doesn't even acknowledge me so I move my seat to its usual spot when we talk. I know she can now definitely see me and I saw her glance my way but that's as much of a response as I have gotten.

"Nice glasses." I comment. I wonder if they're prescription or not. I've never seen Ana wear glasses. Well, I've only seen her for like two weeks so..

"Here, these are for you." I say holding out the bouquet of roses I had delivered. "Don't worry, they're not real they're silk. It's those chamomile flowers you talked about when we were in California. I remember you said as a kid, you came across a field of them and that it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen." I chuckle "And I said the most beautiful thing was you.."

She takes the flowers out of my hand and places them on her lap but turns back out toward the window.

"It's still true. You're still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. No hair, glasses, hospital bed and all.." I gulp nervously at what I'm about to say. She's still barely responding to me and it's really starting to worry me.

"Look, I know this must be difficult for you but I am here for you. I love you. I may not know everything about you or even if your glasses are prescription or not but I know I love you and I will always love you. From the moment our eyes met, we've connected. This connection is nothing I have ever felt with anyone before. I.. I.." I stutter nervously "I don't know what's ahead of us or where we might be in the next few.. Future. But dammit Anastasia I want us to be there side by side for as long as we can." I get down on one knee in a spot where I know she can see me. It's now that I notice she has tears running down her cheeks. "I want to be beside you.. If you'll let me. I know you probably won't say anything right now and I don't expect you to. I want you to really think this over." I open the box to reveal the custom made ring made just for her. "Anastasia, I know we've only known each other a few weeks and we both know that relationships are new to the both of us so this might be moving fast but I think this is right. Ana, I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone and you make me a better person. I would be pleased if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife. Anastasia, will you marry me?" I ask opening the red cartier box.

The tears are still silently rolling down her cheeks but at a much faster pace this time. I tug on her left hand a little and she sit up and extends her arm so it can reach me comfortably. _She's not rejecting me right out. That's a good sign.. Right?_ I gently place the ring on her finger and it fits perfectly. The four carat diamond in the center looks perfect on her hand; I would've gotten a bigger ring but I know she likes simple. The colours match her necklace perfectly. Honestly, I'm just really happy that she hasn't ripped it off. I quickly stand up and place a kiss on her forehead before walking out. I really want to give her time to think about it and hopefully say yes.

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

 _Holy crap.. What the hell just happened?_

Christian just proposed to me in the most beautiful and romantic way I could ever have dreamed possible. And this ring… _swoon._ This is no doubt custom made. He even had the side stones matched to the colors in my necklace from the thrift store. This diamond is so shiny and.. and big. Oh my god, this must have cost a fortune! This man just spent a fortune on me.. me.. a girl laid up in the hospital bed dying of cancer and he wants to marry me.

A large part of me knows this is an expression of the true love he feels for me but theres a small nagging part of me that keeps asking all these different questions. _Is this just a pity proposal? How will this even work? Who knows how long you will still be in here? What happens if you don't make it out. He'll be devastated._

"Ana.."

"Ana!" someone is waving their hand in front of my face. It's Wanda. When did she come in. It's now that I notice I have been sobbing and crying.

"What happened?" she asks with concern in her eyes. She continues to look at me but I'm still too stunned to say anything. I shove my hand out towards her in hopes she'll understand.

"OH MY GOD!" She yells. Some nurses that were near by come running in ready for action. Once they realize ti is just Wanda being her loud self they look relieved and somewhat annoyed but walk out after checking that there is no major harm on either of us.

"Is that what I think it is?"

I shake my head yes and start crating again.

"Sweetie, why are you crying?" she asks as she sits on the side of my bed. "This is a good thing isn't it."

"No." I croak out.

"How is the man you love and who is obviously in love with your proposing with one of the most beautiful rings I have ever seen, a bad thing."

"What if-"

"Don't even complete that thought." She cuts me off. "Look, life especially with people in conditions like ours will always have a million and one what-if situations and questions. But don't think about those. Think about what you feel is right not only for him or you but for you both.."

I nod my head taking in what she said.

"Good. Congratulations" she smiles over her shoulder as she walks out.

I lay down and look at my ring. Before long I find myself falling asleep and dreams of what-ifs.

* * *

 **Only five more chapters to go!**

 **Quick question: Do you guys want Kate to come back, and if so, how so?**

 **Pinterest: /FanficAri/how-to-save-a-life-fanfic/**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**


	23. One Song Glory

_Chapter 22 - One Song Glory(RENT)_

 _"'_ _One song_

 _Before the virus takes hold"_

 _(To understand he context for this song you might need to look it up.)_

* * *

 **Wednesday July 8**

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I'm definitely more nervous this time around than when I met Ray. This time, this visit can decide my entire future. Our entire future. It may be unconventional to spend time with someone for only two or so weeks and jump in to marriage but hell, our entire relationship hasn't been, and probably never will be, normal. I have never felt these things before but I know what I want. Flynn is going to have a field day with this when he gets back from vacation. That'll show him to take a week off.

But seriously, I'm a nervous wreck over here. I told her and gave her time to think but I never thought it would take this long. It's been a whole day and a half since the last time I talked to her and she didn't even talk back. This is the longest we have gone without talking to each other since I found her. What if her answer is no? What is she was trying to find a nice way to break it to me?

"Sir, we're here." Taylor announces.

"Thanks." I say but make no attempt to move. I'm pretty sure he and Gail have figured out what 'the plan' actually meant. I didn't out right say that I was going to propose but considering the express Cartier delivery, wild chase for a bouquet of faux flowers and the application at the court house, it's obvious what I'm up to. _It's now or never._

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

 _Will you marry me.._

 _Will you marry me.._

 _Will you marry me.._

That question has been playing over and over in my mind ever since it came out of his mouth. I called Christian not too long ago and asked him to come over. I know what I want and what my answer is but I'm worried about Christian.

"What would you do without me?" I ask Christian as soon as he gets through the door.

"I'd die without you." That's exactly the answer I knew he was going to give.

"Exactly." He looks at me perplexed. "That's what I'm afraid of." I reply honestly.

"You can either push me away or we can enjoy what we have every second we have it." He says kissing my ring.

"I just.. I don't want to disappoint you or make you sad in any way. I want to protect you."

"I appreciate that." he says now sitting on my bed. "Trust me, that means more to me than you might think and I am grateful to have you looking out for me but I also know what I want.. I want you. As much and for however long I can get you."

His honesty really touches me. I already knew what my answer was but that just sealed the deal.

"Yes." I whisper, choking back happy tears.

"Say it again." he whispers.

"Yes." I say and cup his face to give him a chaste kiss. We look in to each others eyes and I can truly see all the love I have for him staring back at me.

I pull him in to another kiss but unlike the last one, this is filled with fiery passion and love. I can feel all out the love igniting the kiss and we don't stop until we have to pull apart to get some air. I can tell my body is entirely flushed and I'm panting much like Christian.

"So, let go. Let's do it now."

"Now?" I ask still catching my breath. He nods once.

"As in right now?"

"Sure, why not?" He asks looking a little hurt.

"I.. I just said yes. Don't you want to like wait. Plan a wedding. Have your family?"

"I guess. Sure but we can do that somewhere down the road. This is about us."

"Let's do it. Right here. But I do want to get dressed up. You know so we can have some decent pictures of our real wedding. And I'm pretty sure our families would appreciate it, and so would I."

"Okay, any colours in particular?"

"Let's do my ring colours. I'll order some things online and we can get everything together and do it right here tonight. Oh.. Wait, don't we need to file for a marriage licence. Isn't there like a waiting period?" I ask getting disappointed. Something good was finally happening and ready yet-

"It's all good." I frown. "Well.." He scratches the back of his head; one of his tell tale sign of nervousness. "I already applied for one. First thing Monday before I came so we're good to go." He smiles sheepishly.

"A bit of a foregone conclusion huh?" I joke.

"Well no. But I was really hoping and am really glad you said yes."

"Me too. And you're right. This is about us. How about we just do something casual and have someone come in here to marry us. I'm not really a religious person so I wouldn't feel right going down to the chapel."

"I feel the same way. You can pick something out from Neiman's and I have a personal shopper over there. I can pick it up and then we can do it right here."

"And then my week of chemo starts on Friday." I state solemnly.

"It's the safest. And we still have an entire day to celebrate in between." I know he's right. I really just don't want to go through this again. I wish I could just be normal and this would all be different.

"Hey, no brooding. This is our uh.. marriage day. You want to have a wedding one day right? You know the big fairy princess shebang that all little girls dream of?"

I laugh. "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it that.. but yeah. I do eventually. Marriage day huh?"

"Yup." He replies popping the 'p'.

"Okay. You go get everything set up and I'll do whatever I can from this end. And tonight we will be married." I sigh. "This is crazy. But I love it.. And I do love you too. Very much."

"Good. Because I love you too. I'll text you Caroline's number. You order whatever you want. I'll go get the rings and find a justice and I'll see you tonight."

"Tonight." I smile.

Christian softly leaves a lingering kiss on my lips before darting out of the room. He's so excited. I am too but I'm also really scared. About everything.

I found this really great dress and I called in the order on Christian's name. But other than that, I still need some help and I'm sure Christian is running around right now trying to make everything perfect that he forgot about the witnesses.

I slowly make my way to out of bed and walk over to Wanda's room. It's weird being in here. Most of the time she comes to my room.

"Hey Mel." I greet Wanda's twin sister.

"Hey Ana. Look who's up today."

"Yeah, right. How long has she been asleep?"

"I'm not. What's going on?"

"Oh nothing." I smile

"Hey Mel. Did you and dad bring my old camera up?"

"You know it!" she says excitedly.

"Could you go get it for me?"

"Sure, I'll be back in a bit" she says kissing Wanda on the cheek. She reminds me of Kate.

"It's good to see that smile back on your face." Wanda comments.

"It's good to have it back there. I was wondering if you could help me out with like makeup and all that stuff. You know, try to look a little normal for once."

"Sure. Whats the occasion?"

"Oh, you know.. just getting married.. tonight."

"Tonight?!" I nod. "You guys sure do work fast."

"Yeah. Like you said, we never know. So will you be a witness? I was also thinking of asking Dr. Hamburg. You know, since this is kind of like a secret thing."

"I wouldn't miss it. I knew something was up so that's why I asked for my camera. Need help with anything else?"

"Huh, I don't know." I sigh while plopping down in the window seat. "This is just.. crazy."

"In a good way." I rush out. "I don't know. Maybe like my nails. And my scarf. I want to look nice. I mean this may not be my wedding day but this is the day I'm getting married."

"What do you mean?"

"I think we've determined that getting married is for us. As selfish as it may seem but having a wedding is mostly about other people. We will have a wedding at some point because I think we secretly both want one but tonight will be all about us." I smile after explaining.

"I like your reasoning. Of course I'll help you. And don't forget makeup. And people always told me I was crazy for keeping a nice dress in my closet." She giggles.

* * *

"Knock, knock." I say leaning on the doorframe for Dr. Hamburg's office.

"Ana. Come in."

"Thanks." I say sitting down on the same chair that I sat on about a month and a half ago when I first came here.

"I hope this is good news?"

"Yes, I hope so too." I squirm in my seat. Why is this so awkward? "Uh, well I was wondering what you were doing tonight from say 7:30 - 8?"

"Uhm.. well usually I would probably be at home. Why?" she asks inquisitorially.

"Well, let me start off by saying that I will do another round of chemo. I know starting immediately is best and so I will start on Friday."

"Why not tomorrow?" she frowns.

"Well, I'm getting married tonight and I would really like a day to just relax."

"Married?"

"Yes. That's the second reason why I'm here. I would like for you to be a witness."

"Here?"

"Yeah. Why wait right?"

"You're right. I'm happy for you and I would love to be in attendance."

"Really? Wow, thank you. It's just going to be myself, Christian, Wanda, whoever the officiator is and you." She tilts her head to the side "This marriage is for us. No one else." I clarify. She nods her head in understanding.

"I'll be there."

"Thank you. Since I'm here and I'm pretty sure you have a treatment option available we can go over it now, if you have time."

"Of course. I always have time for my patients. I'm really happy you're doing this."

I breathe in deeply. "Me too." I am happy but I can't help but be scared.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Sorry for the slow updates on all my stories. I somehow ended up writing this story backward so.. yeah.. sorry again.** ** _But I haven't given up_ on any of them and they will all be completed in time. (This one sooner than the others)**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc._**


	24. Like I'm Gonna Lose You

**Pinterest: /FanficAri/how-to-save-a-life-fanfic/**

 **I'm trying out a new POV for this chapter. I've never done it before so let me know what you think!**

* * *

 ***Warning: Lemony Content***

 _Chapter 23 - Like I'm Gonna Lose You(Meghan Trainor)_

 _"_ _'No, we're not promised tomorrow_

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you"_

* * *

 **Wednesday Night July 8**

* * *

 **Third-Person Omniscient POV**

"Wow, Ana. That dress is so pretty." Wanda states looking over her work.

"Thank you." Ana is really happy about her dress choice; something elegant but comfortable.

"Now, look." Wanda says turning Ana around to look in the full length mirror in the room. Wanda has been working on Ana for the past few hours and this is the first time she has been able to actually look a herself.

"Wow.." Ana says examining herself in the mirror. She can't believe what she see's. She looks beautiful and loves all her choices but the best thing is that in the reflection she doesn't just see a girl in a hospital who is very possibly dying at this very moment but she see's hope for the future that she never thought she had in her.

"Exactly the same thing I said." Wanda states proudly.

"Ana, you look stunning." Doctor Hamburg says announcing her presence as she walks in to the room. She is genuinely excited and honored to be thought of as a witness for their ceremony. Doctor Hamburg has found a soft spot in her heart for her patient Ana and feels horrible for the way things have turned out with the first round of chemo. At the same time, it seems that through it all her patient has found happiness and hope which is the best thing at times like this.

"Thank you, Doctor. And thank you for being here."

* * *

Meanwhile at Escala, Christian is preparing to leave. He peaked at the color of Ana's dress and has on a fitted Dolce & Gabbana suit with a crisp white shirt and pink tie. He walks in to the kitchen to find Taylor and Gail waiting. Gail turns around with tears in her eyes. "You look wonderful Christian." Not only is she referring to his ensemble but to his shy smile and radiating happiness.

"Thank you, Gail." he says while fidgeting. Checking for the millionth time that he has the rings and that he looks well groomed.

He inhales a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready." He says directed at Taylor.

On his way out he gives Gail a comforting squeeze on her shoulder. He still isn't comfortable with personal affections but he still wanted to show his gratitude.

He is now fidgeting in the back seat of the car nervously shaking his leg and re-reciting his vows.

Before he knows it he is at the entrance to hospital that he always uses to get up to Ana.

"Thank you Jason."

"Congratulations sir."

* * *

Christian walks in to the room where Dr. Hamburg and Wanda are already waiting along with the justice he got to to perform the ceremony. Wanda turns on the radio to signal Ana to come in from the en-suite. The lyrics are extremely fitting for the gravity of their situation.

 _"_ _'cause we'll never know when_

 _When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you_

 _Like I'm gonna lose you"_

Ana comes in to the room and it is like time stands still for the both of them, their breath has been knocked out of both of them. Then it all goes in slow motion as Ana walks towards Christian them never taking their eyes away from one another and sharing the biggest smiles possible.

"The step which you are about to take is the most important into which human beings can come. It is a union of two people founded upon mutual respect and affection. Your lives will change, your responsibilities will increase, but your joy will be multiplied if you are sincere and earnest with your pledge to one another." The justice says in his practiced authoritative voice. "By this ceremony you will become husband and wife, but the soul of your marriage depends on the constant renewal of the choices and promises out of love for one another you make today. Life together will sometimes be playful and effortless, sometimes frustrating and difficult. Each day your relationship will strengthen if you choose to continue to love and honor one another. It is my understanding that the couple has written their own vows?"

Both Christian and Ana nod their heads looking at each other lovingly. "Christian." the justice urges Christian to begin.

 _"_ _I, Christian Trevelyan Grey am the happiest man alive right now. Before I met you, I never knew happiness. And although we may not be a conventional couple, or in a conventional situation but I also know that our love is not conventional. Our love is something above all and I wouldn't have it any other way._

 _I take you today to be my wife. To love and to hold, to cherish and remind everyday that you are beautiful. To laugh with you and cry with you. To stand by you everyday of our lives and forever carry you in my heart."_

By this time, happy tears have flown down Ana's cheeks. She takes a shaky breath in order to start.

 _"_ _I, Anastasia Rose Steele am the happiest woman alive right now. Some time ago I had no hope in anything beyond these walls," she looks around ruefully "but you changed that. And I am forever grateful. Today, I have hope for what the future has to hold for us._

 _I promise to stand not by but with you each and everyday that we have. Through the good and bad I promise to love you with all my heart and try to believe you when you say things like 'I'm beautiful'. I take you today as not only my husband but also as my partner and best friend. I love you."_

This time Christian is the one fighting back tears due to the lovely words his soon to be bride just recited.

"Rings please… Place the ring on the bride's finger and say: I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love for you."

"Anastasia, I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love for you."

"Place the ring on the groom's finger and say: I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love for you."

"Christian, I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love for you."

Christian and Anastasia, you have exchanged your promises and given and received rings in my presence. By these acts you have become husband and wife. According to the laws and by the power invested in me by the state of Washington, I hereby pronounce you are husband and wife. You may now kiss."

The couple seal their union with one long kiss accompanied by the applause of their witnesses and the justice. The justice shake hands with the newlyweds in congratulations. By what he has witnessed here, he is happy to have agreed to perform the union by favor on such short notice because he can tell they really love each other.

Wanda, who has had tears constantly flowing throughout the ceremony while recording hugs Ana with all her might and shakes Christians hand before snapping a few more pictures and then retreating to their room to edit and make her photos.

Dr. Hamburg is the last to leave and she too has shed some tears over the heartwarming display. "No, later than 9am Mr. Grey." she says while making her way out.

"Yes, Ma'am." he nods.

"What is she talking about?" Ana asks curiously.

"You'll see. Come on."

"Where are we going? I can't leave the hospital."

"Just trust me." Ana conceded following slightly behind Christian as they walk through the halls. Since it is late most people in the ward are sleeping but the staff and the few people who are out who look at the couple suspiciously. Some have probably figured that they are on their way to the chapel judging by their clothing.

Christian has had Taylor go over the floor plans to be able to take the best possible route up to the room without being noticed or recognized.

They safely make it up to the 22nd floor where Christian has arranged a private 'honeymoon suite' for the couple. They walk in and everything is, thankfully, as planned and expected. There is one of the larger queen sized hospital beds, silk flowers, a small bottle of champagne, cake, soft lighting and a wonderful view of Seattle in the distance.

Christian looks anxiously over to Ana in order to gauge her reaction. She is crying again with tears of joy. Christian rushes over thinking she doesn't like it an wipes the flowing tears away as fast as he can.

"Thank you, Christian. This is beautiful."

"You like it?" he asks relieved.

"I love it. And I love you."

"I love you too." he says smiling and giving her a chaste kiss. "Cake?"

"Yes, please. What kind is it?"

"Vanilla with buttercream for you and chocolate with buttercream for me."

"You're too perfect."

Christian pours a small but of champagne for them both. "I checked. It's okay to have a little."

"Thank you." Ana takes her glass with a small curtesy and flourish. They start to eat their cake and Ana moans appreciatively at how amazing it tastes.

"Ana." Christian warns.

"Hmmm?" Ana answers.

"Nothing." As much as Christian wants to ravish his wife right now, he doesn't want to pressure or hurt her.

"Did Gail make this?"

"Yes, she did."

"It's soo good. She's gonna have to make me one everyday. Maybe then I'll gain back some of this weight I'm losing." she jokes. "Wanna taste?" she asks.

"Yes," Christian replies. He however didn't understand her intentions in asking because the next thing he knows, Ana is kissing him fiercely making his already semi hard member harden immediately. He pushes her back slightly knowing soon he might not be able to control himself.

Knowing the inner turmoil that is most likely going through his mind she replies "It's okay. I talked to the doctor and she said it's fine."

"Are you sure?" he asks, desire is starting to cloud his eyes.

"Yes. Now, make love to me." she replies.

That sentence was all the affirmation Christian needed before he attacked Ana's mouth. Ana slowly moves her arms up his shirt feeling his sculpted abs before sliding off his jacket and then unbeaten his shirt. Once his shirt is off he slowly kisses down Ana's neck while getting undoing her zipper.

The dress falls to the floor gently pooling around Ana's feet. She stands in all her glory now only in a lace white thong.

Christian slowly backs them up until Ana's knees hit the bed and she falls back. "So beautiful" he comment. He then kisses Ana with passion as she fiddles with his belt and pants. he kicks them off and then starts to kiss down her neck, between her breasts and a peck on each one sending waves of desire coursing through Anastasia. He makes his way down, sliding her thong down as he does, to her sex and blows gently before kissing her sweet spot making her buck off the bed.

"Oh god. Christian, please." she begs. He slips a finger in to her while sucking on her nub making her writhe around in pleasure and ultimately making his own member throb somewhat painfully in anticipation.

"Oh Ana." Christian murmurs on Ana's lips while he positions himself at her entrance and in one swift move, he is in her relishing the feeling and connection they have. She gasps at the initial penetration and the feeling of him filling her up. He moves slowly and sensually commemorating the moment and making sure not to hurt her. "Faster.. Christian.. Ah" Ana moans her orgasm building. But instead of going faster Christian pulls out and puts Ana's knees on his shoulders and glides back in to her making their connection deeper and causing her eyes to roll in the back of her head. They continue chasing their orgasms until they marvellously cum together screaming out each others names.

Finally sated, they curl up together stroking one another lovingly and pensively thinking about what lies ahead for them.

"Good night Mr. Grey."

"Good night Mrs. Grey."

* * *

 **My first lemony scene, from a weird POV and I'm a virgin. How did I do?**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask questions, etc._**


	25. A Little Bit Longer

**A/N: I really just want to take a little time out to say that I love you all. From the people who have read all of my stories to the people who just come across and tell me I suck at writing(which has only been one, thankfully).. You guys have stuck with me throughout this and I love hearing your opinions. To those who have reviewed, thank you for giving me some insight and helping me move the story forward. Although, I may not reply that doesn't mean I don't read or appreciate them, I usually just don't know how to respond unless you ask me a question. And to the guest reviewers who I love just as much as the rest, thanks for sticking with the story and refreshing the page to see if I've updated. (I did that too before I joined.)**

 **To my guest reviewer Anabelle: I only received two reviews on this story so I'm not sure what the other comments were but I greatly appreciate it and I appreciate you reaching out to me and for your suggestions. Your email address did not come through but I do have an email I use specifically for this website: zaviarah at gmail**

 **Any and all of you are free to PM or email me with suggestions, comments or if you just want to talk about anything.**

 **Again, thank you all for your support and helping me throughout this story. I hope to continue improving my writing and actually do some editing(sorry about all my silly mistakes). This part of the story has a few more chapters left and I'm excited to see what you all think about what I have come up with! I hate long authors' notes' especially in the beginning of a story so I will stop here with another _thank you._ Enjoy the longer chapter! :)**

 ** _-_ Ari**

* * *

 **Friday July 9**

* * *

 _Chapter 24 - A Little Bit Longer(Nick jonas)_

 _"'_ _A little bit longer and I'll be fine"_

* * *

"Congrats you too. I hope you will still have some sort of ceremony and I still get to walk you down the hall."

Ana and I look at each other stunned and I'm nervous as hell. I know he gave me his permission but that was only a week ago and doesn't every father want to be at the wedding. Well, all parents. _Great, now I'm thinking about Grace._

"Oh please, like I wouldn't notice your rings that happen to match and the lovey dovey looks you two have been exchanging. I' won't say I'm completely happy with this but as long as this is what you both want, you don't hurt her" he says giving me a death glare "And I get to walk you down some isle one of these days, I'm happy for you." he says looking lovingly at Ana.

"Thank you daddy."

"I guess that means we can change the name on your door now." I state happily. Right now the world may not know that she is mine but in the safety of this ward, I want everyone to know.

"Its good to see some people here this time around." Dr. Hamburg says as she walks through the door with a few nurses. She sits down at the foot of my bed while the nurses prepare the meds and set up. "I know this isn't exactly how we wanted things to go and sadly you'll be here for another month but I've adjusted your medicines and doses and I'm really hopeful that this time next month we'll be on the road to getting out of here."

"Now, I know we talked briefly about your new medicines but I'd like to do another run down for everyone so we can know what to expect. We will be upping your Tioguanine dosage to 40mg. Thats's the white pill that you took last time. This time you will take one in the morning and one at night. This might increase your tiredness and breathing (but only a little). Also, we will be switching your Mitoxantrone all together with Idarubicin. It does the same thing but it is a more aggressive treatment which also means that the side effects will be more severe. That's the red liquid that they're hanging." She points to the nurses hanging it one the IV pole. "This one will effect the same things and might give you headaches sometimes."

"What about my peach fuzz?" I ask. I was really happy when I noticed my hair started to grow back a little last week.

"Sadly, it will probably fall out. But in another 3-5 weeks it should be back." She smiles ruefully. "You know the rest of the symptoms. Please, tell your nurses about all your symptoms even if you think they may be small. Your cell count will drop really low in the next few days and you will feel.. well.. like crap honestly. We will almost definitely need some blood transfusions. You'll be tired and there will be a much greater risk of infection so please, to all of you, make sure you wear masks as when you come in here and if you think you might be coming down with something, you can't come in." she says looking at Christian and my dad. "Ana, this time will be much harder around but do remember you have people here who love you and who want to look out for you." She touches my hand slightly. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be I guess." I shrug. Christian kisses my forehead before moving out of the way for the nurses to clean my port area and attach everything. I hate that alcohol smell still. Once the port is in and secured they start to first administer the Idarubicin and the supplemental fluids along with giving me my first Tioguanine pill with a glass of water. The nurses leave.

"Like last time, you may should feel the effects within a few hours. I'll be back to check on you tonight. Let someone know if you need anything."

"Thanks." I say as she walks out the door.

I look over to Ray and Christian who look just as if not more miserable than I do.

"What, are you guys just gonna stare at me?" I ask slightly annoyed. They're supposed to be here for support and comfort but right now they make me feel bad looking at how much this is hurting them.

"We're sorry. I'm sure Christian would agree that this is just really hard.. on all of us. To see you like this." Christian nods his head agreeing. The only time he saw me hooked up like this was on my last day of chemo when he found me. He has no idea what's ahead for the next seven days.

"I got you this." Christian hands me a box.

I open it and it's the newest iPad. "Wow, thank you." I say gratefully.

"Yeah, I'm sure it gets really boring in here. I added some apps that I thought you might like and it's connected to my account so you can get whatever you want."

"Thanks that's really thoughtful. If this round will be anywhere near like the last, I think I will go ahead and sleep while I can." she says tucking her iPad under her pillow. "Thanks for being here you guys.." she says as she drifts off to sleep.

* * *

 **Kate POV**

I've been so caught up in my own life that Ana and I haven't even spoken in like forever. When I had gotten back I saw the note and decided to let her be for a week but then one week turned in to two and now three.

"Ana! Surprise!" I yell coming in to the apartment. I look around for her but everything is exactly how I left it three weeks ago. Like she hasn't been here. _Something's not right._ It looks like nothing has been moved. There's no food in the fridge and this place has a fresh layer of dust all over it. Ana would never let it get like this. I quickly pick up my phone and dial Daddy.

"Daddy.."

"Hey baby girl, did you make it in okay?"

"Yes, I did. I'm at the apartment now but something isn't right. Ana's not here and it looks like she hasn't been here in a really long time. I think something's happened." I rush out starting to panic. Some friend I am, I haven't checked up on her in so long and now she's missing."

"Kate, calm down. Are you sure? Is there anything weird or suspicious. Should I call the police?"

"I don't know daddy. She isn't here. I'm sure she hasn't been here in forever. There is an envelope though. Should I open it?"

"Kate, that would be illegal." My father admonishes.

"But what if it's something important or like a ransom note?" I ignore his comment and open the envelope.

* * *

 _Ana_

 _Here are the photos from the Gala. Ms. Grey came by to try to get in contact with you. I didn't want to give out your information so I decided to send them myself._

 _Caroline Acton,_

 _Personal Shopper at Neiman Marcus_

* * *

There are pictures of who I assume is Ana. She's in a really beautiful red dress and a mask. There are some of her walking in and then for an auction. _Auction?_ Ana would never do something like that. And someone bought her. Then there's a picture of them dancing together. The water pint on all of these says Coping Together. _Oh my God!_ That's the super swanky gala that the Grey's have every year.

"Kate?!" My dad yells through the phone.

"Oh, sorry daddy. Look I've gotta go. I think I found something but could you maybe get Ana's picture out there. I'm worried."

"I'll see what I can do." Dad answers.

"Thanks, daddy. Love you. I'll stop by later."

"Okay, love you too." I hang up the phone and head for the door with the photos in my hand. I hop in my benz and head off toward the infamous Grey mansion.

* * *

I ring the bell on the gate to the house. It's a Friday afternoon and as I don't really know these people, I have no idea whether or not anyone is home. But surely they have staff or something.

The intercom beeps. "Uh.. Hi. I'm looking for Ms. Grey."

"Who are you?" A female voice comes through the intercom.

"Katherine Kavanaugh."

There is a long pause before the gate buzzes.

I park in the driveway and make my way to the door.

"Hello. I'm Mrs. Grey. I understand you're looking for Mia?" A beautiful blonde older woman comes asks opening the door.

"Umm.. Actually, you might be able to help me out as well. I have a friend who I believe is missing. Your Coping Together Gala seems to be the last time she was seen."

"Oh, dear. Of course come in. Can I get you anything?" She asks concerned while leading me through to a kitchen.

"No, thank you. I don't want to impose. I have these pictures, do you remember her?"

"Ah, yes. I believe her name is Ana. Correct?" I nod. "She came as a last minute thing with my daughter, Mia. You say she is missing?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't spoken to her in some time and our apartment look abandoned. I'm just worried and I really want to find her."

"I see.. well let me call and see if she knows something."

"Thank you."

* * *

 **Christian POV**

"Grey." I answer my phone quietly. I forgot to turn the ringer on vibrate and the ring tone was already loud enough to wake up Ana.

"Christian, we really need to work on your manners."

"Sorry mom, one second." I whisper while walking out in to a staircase.

"Why are you whispering. Did I interrupt something?"

"No, I was just in a bad spot, sorry. How are you?"

"I'm fine. I do have a Katherine Kavanaugh here at the house. She's looking for information about the girl you danced with at the gala."

"Oh.." I don't know what to say. _Oh, Ana. Yeah, I remember her. In fact we've been somewhat seeing each other and got married two nights ago. What else do you need to know?_ Ana and I have decided to keep this between us until she can meet them in person.

"Yes.. do you know anything? Her friend thinks she might be missing." _Oh, Ana. What did you do?_

"No. Sorry. Look mom I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay.. goodbye." I can practically hear the skepticism flowing off her tongue.

I walk through the door to Ana's room while running my fingers through my hair. I see Ray intently staring at the TV screen. There is Ana's photo on a local news channel. _Dammit._ It was put out by Kavanaugh Media. I knew that name looked familiar.

"Ray." I announce my presence.

"Do you see this?" He asks. I can tell by his voice that he is less than pleased. "No one even called me. What..?"

"Katherine Kavanaugh." I say.

"Of course it's Kate. Look, neither one of you need this right now. I'll work this out. Are you going to be okay her by yourself for some time?"

"Yeah. Do what you need to."

"Okay, call if you need anything son." Ray says walking out of the room.

* * *

 **Grace POV**

"Thank you for your help Mrs. Grey. It seems that it was all a misunderstanding. Ray, Ana's father just called and said she is safe. Thank you for all your help. I should get going now."

"Of course. I'm glad I could help. It was nice to meet you."

"You too. Thanks again."

Well that wasn't suspicious at all. Just minutes after I get off the phone with Christian, who was obviously hiding something, this girl is found. I don't want to believe that he has something to do with whatever is going on but.. something just isn't right. I need to have a talk with him in person.

* * *

 ** _Still Grace (At GEH)_**

"Hello Andrea. I need to speak with my son."

"Hello, Mrs. Grey. Unfortunately, Mr. Grey is not in the office at the moment."

"Do you know when he will be back? I can wait."

"Actually, he is out of the office until further notice. I can get in touch with him if you need."

 _Further notice._ "No, thank you. That's fine, thank you Andrea. Enjoy your day."

* * *

 **Taylor POV**

"Mrs. Grey. How can I help you?" This is not good..

"Hello, Taylor. Where's Christian?" I can tell by her tone that she knows something is up. I don't know what or how much she knows though.

"Mr. Grey is not here at the moment."

"Well, he's not at work and you're here so.. Where is he?" How am I supposed to answer that question?

"Perhaps you should call him." I say deliberately trying to avoid the question.

"I did.." she state accusatorially.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

Ana has already woken up two times pretty much just to spit/throw up and then lies back down. It's breaking my, what I once thought was nonexistent, heart to see her like this. She looks so weak.. and well.. sick. And everyone says that she will get worse each day before she can get better. I really hope she does get better this time, I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to her. And then this whole thing with this Kate friend of Ana's.. I don't even know what to do about that situation and now my mom is involved and everything.. _ugh._

"Yes, Taylor?"

"Sir, your mother is here. She's on her way up and I'm sure she is looking for you. Anderson already told me that she went to Grey House looking for you."

"Great. Uh.. I might have to tell her something. Try to stall and if that doesn't work. Tell her I will stop by tonight."

"I'll try."

"Thank you." I hang up.

"Who was that?" Ana's sleepy voice rings out.

"Taylor."

"Is everything okay?"

"Uh.. Well your friend Kate talked to my mom. She was looking for you and the media.. anyway, I think my mom is on to something."

"Oh.. Okay. Well, maybe tell her that we went on a few dates and that I'm on vacation or somet-.. I feel really bad lying and I know you do too. Oh boy, what are they going to think of me?" Ana sighs while sitting up criss cross in her bead.

"They will love you. We just have to find the right time to tell them. I'm going to go over there tonight once Ray gets back."

"Maybe you should just tell her.. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't know. This is all my fault."

"No, it's not. We'll figure out something."

* * *

"Hi mom."

"Hello son." She kisses both my cheeks. "So.. tell me what going on."

"With?"

"This Ana. You know you can't lie to me."

"I know mom. I can't really tell you everything right now but I promise as soon as I can, I will." I plead.

"Is it anything dangerous or illegal?"

"No."

"Well, good. I guess I can give you some time. Do you want to stay for dinner? Your sister is upstairs and your father should be home soon."

"Sure mom but I can't stay long."

"That's fine. Now what's going on with you company?"

"I thought it would be good to take some time off for a bit."

"Mhmm.. Look, I don't know what's going on but just know that if anything, I'm here for you."

"Thank you mom. I really appreciate it and I will remember that. And don't worry because once I can explain everything, you will be the first to know." I pat her hand to give her some reassurance. I hate to keep a secret this big from her and I can't wait until I can tell the world.

* * *

 **A/N: majority of you wanted Kate back in the story so.. here she is… Whether she will stay or not is unknown as of yet.**

 **Will they be able to keep their secret much longer?**

 **Thanks for reading!** ** _Please review, comment, ask question, etc. (even if you just tell me it's_** ** _horrible)_**


	26. Single Ladies

**A/N: I told you the chapters would get longer. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Chapter 25 - Single Ladies(Beyoncé)_

 _"_ _If you like it_

 _Then you should have put a ring on it"_

 _(I couldn't resist)_

* * *

 **Saturday, July 10.**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

I know they think I'm asleep but in reality I am wide awake. Hearing them go over everything that apparently went down yesterday while I was asleep makes me feel absolutely horrible. If I wasn't sick none of this would be like this. I know it's not my fault that I'm sick but now this is turning in to an even bigger lie/situation and-

"Then she asked about my stepping away from GEH-"

"Wait, what?!" I croak out. I really hope that I didn't hear that right and it's just the chemo brain making things fuzzy.

"Hey, Annie, your up. How are you feeling?" Ray asks.

"I'm fine, daddy." I say ignoring he growing numbness of the headache I woke up with. "What do you mean stepping away?" I direct towards Christian.

"I'll go get a nurse." My dad says stepping out of the room, understanding that this needs to be a private conversation.

"What have you done?" I ask.

"I just thought it would be best if I take some time away from GEH to focus on you.." I continue to stare at him blankly. "So.. I put my seeding in charge for the time being. If they really need me, they can still contact me."

"Christian, you can't just leave your empire to come _babysit_ me."

"It's not _babysitting._ And as you said it is my company and I can do whatever I want." He states petulantly. "Do you not want me here?" he asks frowning.

"Of course I want you here." I say in what I hope is a reassuring way. "I just don't want you to stop living your life because of me. I'm in a hospital with a specific doctor and a team of nurses whose job it is to all look after me."

"Yeah, and that worked out really well the first time."

I sigh frustratedly. I am about to respond when a nurse comes in with my mitoxantrone. "You're father went to go get your breakfast and once you eat we will administer your other medicine."

"Thank you." I say politely while she exits the room. "I get it, you're scared. I am too. You think I'm not scared being hooked up, and poked and prodded by all these things that make me feel like absolute shit.. Just, please don't take off any more. I'll be fine here."

"There's no way I can talk you in to letting me stay here with you is there?"

"Nope. And if I have to I won't allow you to come up here so you'll probably wind up going to work anyway."

"Fine. But I will be here whenever I'm not at work."

"I know that. And please don't forget about your family. I can tell that they're worried about you. Especially your mom."

"You heard all that?"

"Yes, I was awake just kept my eyes closed in hopes this hea-" I cut myself short. I know I've already said too much and whenever something is wrong, Christian always overreacts. It comes from a good place bu- _uh oh._ I think I'm gonna be sick. I pat the bed in hopes that Christian will understand from the look that I probably have on my face, what needs to happen. He just looks panicked and I realize that he won't be much help. I turn away from him to the other side of the bed and hurl onto the floor. I am absolutely horrified while Christian is frantically pressing the nurse button.

Two nurses come rushing in to the room. "I'm fine." I croak out. The vomit has made my throat hurt. The nurses quickly assess the situation and make a move to get me up while Christian stands in the corner.

"Can you help wash her up?" One of the nurses ask Christian. It's not really a secret around here that we got married since it needs to be known for medical reasons and such; luckily he had all the staff sign NDAs and I think everyone else is too caught up in their own lives to care around here. He quickly comes back to the side of the bed and helps me in to the ensuite bathroom.

"I'm sorry." He whispers while wiping my mouth. I am about to respond when a nurse comes in to take care of my port so I can change my shirt.

Once all is cleaned, I make my way back to the bed and get hooked back up to my medicine. I know its a side effect but hopefully it was a one time thing and doesn't happen the rest of the days. Just in case, a nurse places a sit bucket on my bed under me arm. I give her a grateful smile as she retreats.

"Where were we?"

"Are you okay?"

"I said I was fine."

"Yes, but are you really fine or are you just saying that?"

"What's a little throw up?" I breathe. "Look, you have to go back."

"Why?"

"Because you need to live your life. Look, I really appreciate that you want to be here with me and take care of me and everything but.. look I'm really sick of having this same conversation.." I say exhausted. It seems like we've had this same conversation/argument practically everyday and I'm sick of it.

"Okay, I'll go back." He says reluctantly.

"Good, you can start tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yep. I heard pretty much the whole conversation including the part about some dinner thing tonight."

"Ana.." He whines. It's actually kind of cute.

"Christian.." I mock him. "Seriously, this is your company we're talking about."

"I know but you are more important."

"I appreciate that but like I have said before and will probably say another hundred times, I will be fine here. You go to that dinner in a nice tux looking all sexy. Razzle dazzle some people, conquer the world, all that jazz and then if you really want, you can come back and tell me all about it." I smile. Honestly, I'm still not really all that optimistic about chemo the second time around. _I mean look what happened the first time_. I don't want him to stop living for me because when if I die, he will too.

"Fine. But I will be staying the night."

"No objections here!"

"Is everything alright in here?"

"Yes, daddy."

* * *

 **Ray POV**

Christian left not too long ago so I figure now is the best time to approach Annie.

"I can see the cogs turning. Whats on your mind?" Annie, ever the perceptive.

"Kate."

"Kate.. what about her?" she asks hesitantly.

"Well, when she went looking for you, I said that you were staying with me for a while to breathe, relax, things like that."

"Okay, that sounds fine. Whats the problem?"

"Well, she said she wants to come visit you before she goes back to New York.."

"Oh.."

 _Silence._

"Dad, I know you don't really agree with keeping this quiet, especially the marriage and families, and.. I'm just trying to protect everyone. Kate, if she knew.. she's the type to quit her job and set up camp in this office."

I nod pensively. She's right. I don't necessarily agree with all of this secrecy but I also can't go against Annie. The only person who knows about her even being sick outside of us three is Rebecca. I had to tell her to ease her mind about me being gone a lot during the weekend. I don't think she's thinking about things in the long run and how this is going to effect the people around her.

"Just tell her that I don't really want to see anyone right now. Tell her I need some time and space." She says dismissively. "I'll give her a call. Maybe that can hold her off for a while more. And I can see that you want to say something more but please, just don't. Not right now."

"Okay.."

* * *

 **Afternoon, Sunday July 11**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

"This time last week, I don't know what you looked like but it mustn't have been pretty if its anything like when I woke up. I know your family is worried about you." _Heck, I'm worried about you and you're right here in front of me._ "I'm sure they'll be happy to see you."

"If you say so.."

"Trust me."

"I do. And I love you, I'll be back later."

"I wouldn't expect any less, I love you Mr. Grey."

"I love you too Mrs. Grey."

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I ring the doorbell. I'm a tad late due to my reluctance to leave Ana but I don't think I'm too late. My dad opens the door obviously upset that someone has interrupted until he sees that it is me.

"Christian, we weren't expecting you to come." My dad says opening the door more to allow me to come in.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss a family dinner." I say walking in to the dinning room where everyone else is already seated.

"Christian.. we weren't expecting you to come."

"Of course I would come." I go over and stand behind my usual seat. "I just want to thank everyone for being concerned about me this past week. I.. things have been rough recently but I think they're starting to look up and I guess I'm just assuring you all that I'm alright." I finally take my seat after my little mini-speech.

"Of course we were concerned bro. You looked like hell when we walked in to that room and even worse when we were at your place. Are you sure you're alright?" Elliot is usually joking around but his tone is extremely serious. It makes me start to realize how things must look from the outside and how they might be feeling.

"I will be." I answer.

"So whats up with the ring?" Mia answers getting in to inquisitive mode. I guess my ring is pretty large and noticeable; the closest form to jewelry that I wear are my cufflinks and those don't really count.

"Nothing." I say dismissively. That's probably the biggest and worse all out lie I have told my family and I feel horrible about it. I can't wait until Ana is out and I can clear the air.

Dinner goes along pretty well. After my dismissal, no one had brought up the ring again. I know they all probably think I'm gay or some celibate virgin since they know nothing of my past. No one does and I plan to keep it that way.

* * *

 **Morning, Monday July 12**

"Okay, spill." Ros says coming in to my office before I've even had a chance to sit down. I sit down to face her who has so graciously accepted my offer to sit down and make herself comfortable..

"I decided" _really Ana decided_ "that taking a step back wasn't the right course of action. Therefore, I am back. You will still be taking a lot more responsibility so we will be splitting it down the middle to see how you do. I am planning to take at least one month off in the meantime and I want to make sure you're ready."

"Okay, this is all good to know and it's about time you give me some more responsibility around here but this is not what I'm referring to. What is that?" She asks pointing to my ring.

"A ring." I answer deadpan. What is she getting at?

"No shit." Only Ros would dare talk to me like that besides my family and Ana. "The whole world probably knows about that ring."

"What are you talking about?"

She huffs before turning her attention to her phone and then handing it to me.

 **o0o**

 ** _Saturday July 10_**

 ** _Seattle Nooz:_**

 ** _Billionaire Christian Grey off the market?_**

 ** _You heard it here first. Billionaire and CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings,_ the _Christian Grey was spotted last night at his Mile High Club with a huge ring on_ that _finger. We haven't seen him much as of late, but we also won't let this slip through our fingers. Maybe it's a purity ring?_**

 ** _We will leave no stone unturned. Stay tuned for the latest update on our favorite bachelor._**

 ** _o0o_**

Well that's just fucking fantastic.. I didn't think a simple ring could bring so much attention.. Eve so I'm not taking it off. _Ever._ This directly concerns Ros and its starting to effect GEH. If I tell her the truth, maybe she can help handle it. Then again, how could I tell her, or anyone for that matter, before I tell my own mother.

"The press have been hounding us since Sunday morning. I wasn't going to bother you while you were away but since you're here, handle it. What's the deal with the ring anyway?"

"I will not be releasing a statement. The press, and you, can hound all you want. I'm not giving up any information. They'll die down eventually." I state with finality all the while ignoring the question. This situation is beginning to be more stressful than I had originally anticipated.

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

Christian is on his way over. He sounded stressed, like he had a bad day at work. But I have a feeling that it could also be about his ring fiasco. I got bored and turned on the TV and on one of those 'entertainment' shows, they were talking about him. _Really, that's 'news' and 'entertainment'? A gross invasion of someones life and privacy._

I look over to my phone and see that it's Christian calling. _Why is he calling? He would usually be here by now._

"Hey, whats wrong?" I ask immediately.

"Hello to you too baby. Nothing that I can't handle. The article was brought to my attention today. I didn't think it would be like this."

"Me neither."

"I'm being followed by some paps no doubt trying to figure out if you exist and who knows what other bullshit they can think of."

"You could just take it o-"

"Don't even finish that Anastasia. I am never taking this ring off."

I sit quietly. Again, this is all my fault and now I'm making life difficult and stressing people out.

"I know what you're thinking and don't."

 _What is he a mind reader._

"No, I'm not a mind reader but I know when your quiet like that it's because your thinking. This isn't your fault. This will die down and we'll get through this. When you're ready, we can tell people. But for now, I'm still coming over I just need to go back home and switch cars to mix it up a bit. It shouldn't take long."

"Okay.. I'll see you in a while I guess."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I finally make it to Ana's room and find that she is asleep. I go forward to give her a kiss and notice that she had been crying. _She probably cried herself to sleep._ I give her a kiss and walk over to the window while rubbing my face. She really doesn't need this added stress. I wish there was something I could do to make it all better but I can't really think of anything. If we tell people, they will go crazy, my family included and that probably won't be any better than what I'm dealing with right now. But _I_ am dealing with it and I hope to keep it that way. I really want to keep this, among with other parts, of my life as far away from Ana as possible. She doesn't need anything messing with her getting well or her recovery.

* * *

 **Tuesday**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

"Kate Kavanagh."

"Uh.. Hi Kate. It's Ana."

"Ana! Thank goodness. I was seriously about to send a search party out to find you. Ray said you would cal but that was two days ago. I can't believe its been forever since we've talked or even seen each other. Why aren't you at the apartment? Did something happen? Did you move with Ray or what? God.. I miss you." she fires off without a break between any of the sentences.

"I miss you too Kate. I know you have a lot of questions and I'm really sorry about keeping you in the dark but I'm not ready to answer them right now. Give me a couple of weeks and then we can meet up and I'll tell you everything."

"Okay, I'm back in New York but I'm sure I can make another trip sometime. My internship will be over soon anyway so I should probably start moving my stuff back. I think I may need to buy a whole 'nother apartment just to fit all the stuff I bought."

"Actually, I was thinking about moving out pretty soon." I say trying to break the news gently. Katherine Kavanagh does not take big changes very well and we've been living together for pretty much three years.

"Oh.. well that's okay. If you can move out that means everything must be going well and that's good. Look, I've gotta go before I'm late but I'll call you later. Is this your new number?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Love ya."

"Love you too Kate. Later."

Well, that went better than expected. But now theres nothing else for me to do I guess.. Maybe I'll just take a little nap until Christian gets here..

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I was able to leave the office a little bit earlier today and spend some time with Ana but it seems her body has other ideas. I've been here for a few hours now and Ana has been asleep the entire time. A little while ago, I decided that I would do a little work from here so now I'm sitting in my spot with my laptop answering some emails. I hear Ana starting to stir so I power down my laptop and focus my attention on her.

She's mumbling incoherently and then gets in to a sitting position with her legs dangling over the side. I don't think she has even registered that I'm in the room yet but I still watch her cautiously to see what she is going to do. She grabs her IV stand which I assume has some fluids and vitamins, _or something helpful,_ hanging and makes a move to stand up but loses her balance and sits back on the bed. I rush over to help her.

"Hey, what do you need?" I ask her softly.

"I really have to pee." She says but it's more like a whisper and I see that her eyes are barely open which is of course extremely worrying me. I put one arm around her waist to help her stand. She is practically leaning all her weight in to me and shuffling toward the door.

Once I know she's steady, I let her stand on her own near the toilet and step away slightly.

"Go!" She whisper-shouts at me.

I look at her like she's crazy. _Which she is if she thinks I'm leaving._

"Okay, can you at least turn around please?"

I hear her finish up and then wash her hands in the sink conveniently located a short distance away from the toilet but knowing how she is and how she might be feeling, I wait for her signal to turn back around.

"Okay.." I help her back and gently place her in to bed.

"When did you get here?" she asks once settled.

"A few hours ago."

"Have I been asleep that long?" she asks shocked.

"Well, I did take off early but yes, you have been asleep for some time. Why don't I get you some soup and you tell me about your day." I say already reaching for the thermos I brought with me.

"Well, I woke up. Texted you. Had chemo day number.."

"Four."

"Yeah. Four. Then I called Kate and took a little cat nap." she giggles.

"Cat nap?" I raise my brow at her while placing the soup on the rolling table in front of her.

"Okay, maybe a little more like a tiger nap." she jokes and smiles. Its good to see her smile. "I know you're smiling. I can see it in you eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better now that you're here and I have some of Gail's soup. But you know what would make me feel a lot better?"

"What?" I ask interested.

"A kiss."

"Ana.." i groan. As much as I want to kiss her, its not safe.

"You don't have to take off your mask. Just a peck" she points to her lips. I gently peck her on the lips through my mask and when I step back she has one of the brightest smiles I have seen in days.

"Thank you Mr. Grey."

"Anytime Mrs. Grey."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! _Please review, comment, ask questions, etc._**


	27. Dust Clears

_Chapter 28 -_ _Dust Clears(Clean Bandit)_

 _"As the dust clears and it all starts to disappear,_

 _It may get harder_

 _'cause you just restarted."_

* * *

 **Next Wednesday, July 21**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

The nurses leave after taking everything away. I put my head back on my pillow and look up at the ceiling. "It's over." I state matter-of-factly.

I look over to Christian and he gives a lopsided smile.

"Now all we do is wait.."

"What happens next?"

"I didn't really make it far last time but I'm pretty sure they keep doing blood work and a bone marrow biopsy to more accurately determine the number of cells are still cancerous. If the cancer is gone I get out of here. If not.. I don't know."

"I don't know what to say. I wish you didn't have to go through this."

"You're not the only one."

"Hello lovebirds." Dr Hamburg comes through my door. "How are you feeling Ana?"

"This round was a lot harder but I'm okay today."

"Good she smiles."

".. so what happens next?"

"Well, we're going to let your chemo make it's way through your body for the next couple of days. We will still take blood everyday to check your counts. Then after a few days if your numbers are looking good, we will schedule you a bone marrow biopsy for next week. If that's all clear, we'll focus on getting your strength up a little bit and get you out of here."

"What's this biopsy you guys keep talking about?"

"A bone marrow biopsy will help us determine more accurately how much of the leukemia may still be present."

"Is it safe?" Christian asks.

"It's a routine procedure. Ana has had one done before. We numb and area using an anesthetic, then a long needle goes in to the middle of the bone to collect a sample of the marrow. She may feel some discomfort for a few days after but that's all. There's very little room for an infection especially since she will be here in the hospital."

Christian nods his head. Hearing her talk about it all over again makes me really nervous; I hate needles. I've gotten used to the IV and port but to think of that huge needle going in to my bone makes me cringe.

"Well, I just came to check on you and I'm glad that you're feeling alright. If either of you have any more questions, you know where to find me." She smiles as she leaves.

"And so we wait." Christian says.

"Yup. I just hope it worked this time.. so what's on your schedule for today?"

"Nothing. I cleared my day."

"You didn't have to do that. You've already been here everyday."

"Yes, and I have loved every second of it because I'm with you. And before you say anything, I will be back in the office on Monday but I will be here with you for your biopsy.. if you want me to of course."

"Of course I want you to be there. To be honest I'm nervous about it. It doesn't hurt or anything, I promise but it just makes me nervous. That needle is really long." I cringe.

"Well I can help distract you. Am I allowed to hold your hand?"

"I don't know. The first time I was by myself." I look down.

"You won't be alone this time or any other time; I'll always be here for you."

"Thank you. Now whats happening on the ring front?"

"No one has asked me about it anymore. My family and Ros have realized that I won't talk or lost interest. The press have died down. They probably think it's just a purity ring."

"Well we both know that's not true. And besides you are married and once I hope that we don't have a sexless marriage."

"Baby, I promise you we will not have a sexless marriage." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

* * *

 **Next Wednesday, July 28th**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

"Your levels are back to where they were when you were first admitted.. that's good news" she smiles. "Now, we will focus on getting your levels back in the normal range and then getting you out of here."

"Finally." I breathe. Dr. Hamburg smiles at me before she leaves the room.

 _Wait.. I'm getting out of here._ "I can get out of here? Like there's really a chance?" I ask before she has the chance to fully leave.

"Yes, there's a chance. You responded very well to your last round of chemo and once I feel that you are healthier and out of the danger zone, we can get you out of here." She smiles but I am still sitting she'll shocked.

"And then what? What happens when I leave?"

"Well.. we're not close enough for a detailed plan but you will then be in phase two: consolidation. The phase we are in was to make sure to kill as many cancer cells possible initially and get your numbers back in normal range thus being able to say you're in remission. The chemo is still working its way in your system but I believe that it will continue to kill off these cells like it had been doing this past week. We will know for certain by next week."

"Okay, thank you." I say slowly walking back to my room. Passing Wanda's room always makes me sad. It's only been a few days since she left but she was my lifeline here and the only person I ever interacted with and so I didn't feel alone. I can't be too mad or upset though, she said she wanted to be closer to her family.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

After a long day at GEH, I head to the hospital. Around lunch time Ana called me and cryptically said she had some news that she needed to share with me. I couldn't decipher if the news was good or bad from her voice and she insisted I stay and finish my work day so I did but now I'm going straight to her. It's hard to not think of the worse but at least this time it was Ana that called and not a doctor or a nurse. This past week of chemo has been really tough. Ana was so weak some days struggling to just walk around, other days she just slept.. I don't know how she can go through that. My heart broke each time I saw her struggle just to get up or toss and turn to find a comfortable position in the bed..

"You didn't change?"

"No, I came straight here?"

"Why?"

"Because you had news..?" I say getting a little antsy.

"Oh.."

"Yeah.. so what's the news?"

"Can I ask you a question first?" I'm not sure where she is going with this but if it gets me closer to this elusive news, I'm all for it.

"Yeah." I say bringing my chair over and sitting down.

She's quiet for some time like she is trying to figure out what to say or how to ask.

"Did you marry me because you thought I was going to die?"

Okay, that is not the question I thought was going to come out of her mouth. The answer technically would be yes, i don't know what would have happened had our situation been different but I doubt that we would be married just a few months after knowing each other. But it's not like I didn't think she was going to or at least try to make it.

"What is this about?"

"You, young CEO billionaire marries dying girl and is left a broken hearted widow or even better CEO grants desperate dying girl her last wish.. or, or-"

"Stop. Yes, I married you because I thought you were dying but not because I didn't think you would make it but because I knew that I loved you and I wanted us to do everything we could while we could. I still want us to do that." I say sincerely.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." I say without hesitation and it causes her to crack a tiny smile.

"Last chance before you're stuck with me." she laughs slightly.

"You can't get rid of me that easily." I slightly joke with a hint of seriousness. She really needs to work on her self esteem.

"I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I say that a lot. I'm trying but I know I also need to try a lot harder."

"I know and I am going to try harder to make you feel as special as I know you are."

"I'm sorry. I love you, really do."

"I believe you. I just want you to believe me when I tell you And stop apologizing, we'll work on each other together."

"Together.. Now what's this news? From this conversation I really can't tell if it's good or bad."

"Well now that we've talked I can definitely say that it is good news. Dr. Hamburg came by earlier and said that my chemo is working this time around and I'm back to where I started. It's still going to take some time for my levels to return to normal but she's hoping I can get out if here in a few weeks!"

"Really?!" I say absolutely thrilled.

"And that also means you can take off that mask!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She smiles.

I hesitate at first but I know she is serious about her recovery and wouldn't do anything to jeopardise it so I take it off. She squints her eyes.

"Hmm you look different than I remember. Come closer."

I sit on the bed facing her. "I'm pretty sure I look the same?"

She smirks at me and in a moment her lips are on mine. As much as I would love to kiss my girl I try to pull back.

"It's okay. It's safe." She tells me squashing my concerns. I lean back in to her and press my lips to hers again enjoying the feeling I've missed these past couple of weeks.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay in updating, I was just going to finish it all in one large chapter but it's taking longer than I expected. Then I was getting ready to post when I realized I skipped a step medically. I didn't realise it's been so long; sorry again. I know this isn't my best work but I just wanted to show I haven't given up.**

 **And please remember medical wise, the things I write about are just from research and I have no idea if I'm actually accurate in my findings/interpretations.**


	28. Fight Song

_Chapter 28 - Fight Song(Rachel Platton)_

 _"_ _This is my fight song_

 _Take back my life song"_

* * *

 **Next Thursday, August 5**

* * *

 **Christian POV**

"How are you feeling?"

"We don't have to do this today if you're not up to it."

"I'm fine. It's better we do this now than wait."

"If you're worried about the results then stop that right now. What happened to the positive th-"

"It's not that." I raise my brows at her unbelieving. "It's not. It's just for once I'm finally thinking about getting out of here and we've been in here so long the whole world might have changed for all I know.." That's my Ana. She always tries to throw in a joke after something serious to try and soften the blow.

"Yes." I reply mockingly solemn and nodding my head. "My world has changed for the better thanks to you." At that she chuckles a little. "Yes, we have some major adjustments ahead of us both us but we will get through it. Right now though, I need you to focus on kicking this cancer's ass." She smiles up at me and gives me a kiss.

Soon we are taken to a different room for her latest biopsy to be done. I couldn't be there last week as it was last minute and I couldn't get out of a meeting with a company I've been working on for a few months, so this is the first time I will actually be here. All I know is that some long needle goes in to her back.

She lies on the bad/table thing that they have set up and then proceeds to pull up her legs as instructed.

The doctor is then pushes her shirt up and proceeds to feel around her side and back. At first I see red and I have to close my eyes and count to ten in order not to rip this guy's head off. _Why couldn't Dr. Hamburg do this? It's okay. This is for Ana's health._ I open my eyes again and peer over to the doctor.

"Just go and see." Ana rolls her eyes at me. Usually I would argue or make a some comment about her rolling her eyes but right now all I need to do is make sure this doctor keeps his hands where they should be.

"Okay, Ana. We did the other side last week so we're going to do your left side." He looks over at me confused. "Excuse me, but once the procedure gets started I will need this space for the technicians." He says professionally.

"Oh, sorry. Doctor this is my husband Christian Grey. This is his first biopsy so he wanted to see. He will move as soon as you tell him."

"Of course. It's nice to meet you Mr. Grey I can assure you that I know what I'm doing and I will try to make this as painless as possible for Ana. I'm glad to see she has someone here this week." He nods at me since he is already gloved up.

"Yes, last week was great so I think I'll have him do them from now on." she reassures me.

"Well it is good to meet you. I'm merely a stander by."

Alright then, lets get started.

I look over and notice the doctor has already marked spot on her skin with some type of marker. He then applies some type of brown substance along a large part of her skin. He then takes some paper thing and places it around the area before poking some a needle in to Ana's back.

"This is a local anesthetic in order to numb the are."

He then takes another longer needle and pokes near the same spot. But then he starts to push the needle in and out and I decide that it's best to go back to my Ana since this can't be comfortable for her, seeing as it is extremely uncomfortable for me.

I go to her side and stroke her face which is slightly scrunched up. She opens her eyes and looks up at me as best as she can in this position.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Me too. Are you okay? In any pain?"

"Well the Anastasia has kicked in so not really right now. Just some pressure." I look over to see the doctor twisting a thick needle in to Ana's bone and I cringe. "Yeah, it looks worse than it feels for the most part."

"Ana, I'm going to do the aspiration now. Sharp feeling but it will be over quick." Before Ana even has a chance to respond she closes her eyes tightly and lets out a whimper that absolutely breaks my heart. I see one of the people in the room leave with what looks like a vial of blood.

The doctor does something and she releases a breath. "At lease the worst part is over." She smiles slightly. I guess the positive attitude we've been working on is here to stay for a while. The doctor then continues to push a needle in to Ana's bone. She says that it's fine and it's really only slight pressure that she feels. This makes me very relieved. After about another 15 minutes of pushing/drilling in the doctor starts twisting and pulling he needle out. I look down at Ana who visibly takes and releases a huge breath.

"You did great." I say to her. Seriously, if that needle or anything was stuck that far in me, I probably would have had some sort of panic attack yet she sat here and took it. I'm so proud of my beautiful woman.

"Thanks."

The doctor then puts gauze and tape on her back and has her lie down on some foam looking cone.

"How you feeling?" she asks me.

"You just went through all of that and you're asking me if I'm okay?" I ask confused.

"Well, yeah. You were cringing probably just as much as I was."

"It just hurts to see you in pain. And I'm not a fan of needles." I smile slightly embarrassed.

* * *

 **Lunch, Friday August 6**

* * *

"Christian how nice to see you. I assume you've been busy the past few months and that's why I haven't seen you?" Flynn raises and eyebrow at me.

"You just mis your weekly paycheck." I smirk at him and take the seat that I usually frequent.

"Fair point. So what brings you here today? Last I saw you was at the Coping Together Gala then you seemed to disappear."

"Yes, and I could have used you those weeks after but you insisted on taking a 'vacation'."

"Not something you would know anything about." He quirks back. I have to say, I do miss our friendly banter that we've perfected over the years.

"Actually, I have stepped down quite a bit from GEH." He raises his brows and pulls out his ancient notepad before putting on his impassive face again. I guess this means our time is officially starting.

"And what made you do that?"

"Well, my wife is in the hospital and I want to spend as much time with her as possible." I say deadpan. I understand that there is _a lot_ I need to fill him in on but I'll let him lead this session for now. He hasn't even moved after my confession.

"I see. And what is your wife's name?" He asks speculatively.

"Anastasia Grey."

"And when did you get married?"

"One month and two days ago."

"I see.." He says. There is silence for a few minutes and I think he's actually trying to think of a plan how to get me to go to a mental institution with little resistance.

"Let me explain." I say. I then go on to explain everything as simply as I can. _We met at the Gala, had an amazing weekend together, she ran, couldn't find her for weeks, found her at the hospital, me finding out about her cancer, me feeling like I almost lost her, me asking and then getting married the same week, her chemo and now her recovery and possible release._ I really hope Flynn was recording this session because I don't feel like saying that all over again and I think he needs time to process.

"Ookay…" he says slowly.

"I know. I know, it's a lot to think about but I'm freaking out over here Flynn and not about any of the stuff but she should be getting out soon." I smile at the thought.

It takes him a little longer to reply as he is probably still processing what I just told him. "And why does her being released from the hospital ( _of all things_ , he thought) make you 'freak out'?"

"A million reasons and none at all."

"Care to elaborate?"

I blow out an unsteady breath before beginning. "Okay, the two biggest things are security and living.. Once the world gets wind of me having a relationship, _fuck being married,_ there is going to be a shit storm of media. I don't think Ana knows how ruthless they can get. She has enough stress without them. Then.. I've never lived with a woman. Well, with anyone before. I've only slept in a bed for two nights with her. She knows about my nightmares which is good but that's all. What if she decides this isn't really what she wants to do?"

"To do?"

"What if she doesn't want to stay married. Or be with me at all."

"Has she given any indication of that she doesn't."

"No, if anything she thinks that if we do spilt it is I that will be leaving her."

"Well, it sounds like you both have some doubts.. About yourselves that is. There is a lot more to talk about, and sadly we don't have the time right now, but I want to take to you again tomorrow. I will change my schedule around so that we can at least have a full session. Do you know when she will be getting out?"

"No, we did a bone marrow biopsy yesterday so we should get the results on Monday. If all is fine, she could be coming home next week.." _Wow._ That's the first time the reality of Ana getting better has finally sunk in. I, Christian Grey, am a married man who will be living with my wife in just a week at the latest..

* * *

 **A/N: Over the time since the last chapter posting, this story has officially reached over 100k views! I just want to say thank you to all of you who continue with this story. This story is very true and near and dear to my heart so it means a lot. Thanks again! Much Love.**

 **-Ari**


	29. Something Big

**A/N: I'm really sorry about the long delay in getting this chapter out. I could give you a list of excuses but I'm sure you just want to get on with reading so here it is; happy reading!**

* * *

 _Chapter 29 - Something Big(Shawn Mendes)_

 _"_ _It's like 25 to life so you bust out of prison._

 _Something's in the air, something's in the air"_

* * *

 **Sunday August 8**

* * *

 **Christian POV**

"Thanks for meeting with me today." I say to Flynn once I sit down.

"Sure thing, care to tell me why you wanted to meet at this time instead of yesterday?"

"Well, once I leave here, I will be going to dinner with my family. I usually spend all Saturday with Ana.."

"I know you pretty well Christian and to me it sounds to me like you're avoiding the question. What's the real reason you wanted to change?"

Damn him. "Ana doesn't know that I see you. Since I haven't really seen you since the Coping Together Gala, I don't know it sort of slipped my mind with everything else going on to tell her I guess."

"Hmm." He muses writing something down in that damn notepad that I have always hated. "And what else don't you two know about each other?"

I stay quiet for a while. "That's a loaded question."

Flynn doesn't say anything at first, which with him is never a good sign. It usually means that he is either overthinking something or wants me to overthink something.

"So you didn't run a background check on her?"

"Of course not! I trust her, I've always trusted her."

Flynn nods his head in understanding.

"I'm sure knowing Taylor that he probably ran one at some point but that doesn't really mean anything. What are you—"

"Okay, we're getting off topic here. Let me rework the question. Are you ashamed of having a psychiatrist?"

"No… Yes.. I don't know. Aren't psychiatrists for crazy people? I don't want her to think I'm crazy or realize how fucked up I am."

"To answer your question, no, plenty of people have psychiatrists. Why do you think her learning that you have a psychiatrist will change her view of you?"

"Because I'm a fucked up grown man who can't get past the torture his crack whore of a mother let him go through and up until not long ago I would fuck and punish little brown haired girls that happen to look like my wife in order to get back at her."

"I thought we had already worked past this." Flynn sighs.

"We did. Which is exactly why I don't want it brought back up again."

"But don't you believe that of all people she has the right to know.. As a married man I can tell you that keeping secrets is not the way to a healthy or happy marriage." I go to open my mouth but Flynn interrupts me. "Now, I understand that although you are still new in your relationship but you have to understand at some point you will have to tell her. And telling her sooner than later would, in both my professional and personal opinion, be best."

* * *

 **Monday August 9**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

It's finally Monday. All weekend Christian and I have been sort of relaxing, _as best as you can in a hospital_ , and talked about what we're going to do when I get out of here.

I just realized that this whole weekend we have talked in the _this will happen_ mindset. And although we won't know the results until later today, for once I am actually pretty confident that I'm getting out of here. The second round of chemo was brutal if I'm honest but last week Dr. Hamburg said that it was working wonderfully.

I stand up and go over to the mirror. I won't say that I look good because I don't but I look a hell of a lot better than I did a few weeks ago. My skin isn't as sickly looking a I remember it; I'm just a really pale. I lost a great deal of weight in here though despite Gail's delicious meals. _I can't wait to meet her and Jason Taylor._

Thankfully before Wanda left she taught me some tips in order to look more.. normal. her sister even went out and got me like a makeup gift basket with foot scrubs and nail polish and stuff like that. I have to admit those items have gotten me through some of the toughest and most boring days.

/We decided that although I do still technically have the apartment Kate's dad bought for her, that I should just move in with him. _We are married after all._ He told me he lives in the penthouse in a building called Escala. After he fell asleep, I looked up the building since I had no idea what he was talking about and it is beautiful and expensive. I could maybe afford a place on one of the lower floors for a couple of months but his penthouse is on the 31st floor./

Ray was also here this weekend and told us to call him when the doctor comes in. It's really great to have the two most important men in my life get along so well. I mean, Christian is my husband who I married quite hastily and in secret from him. Not to mention he's the one who took my virginity. Yet Ray, ex-marine a.k.a come-near-my-daughter-and-I-will-shoot-you Steele would actually like someone with a romantic interest with his daughter. One day they both came in laughing and joking like they're old friends. But the best part of all is he has been staying with Christian whenever he comes and when I get out he'll be staying there too. Regretfully my dad and I haven't spent much time over the past couple of years other than special holidays due to both our busy schedules but now I talk to him everyday. One positive thing about this I guess would be bringing us closer together.

And of course another positive would be bringing myself and my wonderful husband Christian together. I don't know what would have happened to us if we had met each other at a different time or with different circumstances but I always come up with different outcomes. Overall, though, I would like to think that the spark and instant connection that I felt would still be there.

Hopefully though, this journey will be coming to an end soon, or at least this leg of it. Cabin fever really set in a few weeks ago and if not for Christian making sure I have something to do, i might have gone crazy. After all I was only supposed to be here for four weeks and now almost three months after my diagnosis, I have a chance at going home.

 ** _Flashback_**

 _I came to the doctor last week for a checkup because I've been feeling strange lately. I've been really tired lately. Last week I actually fell asleep in the break room on lunch. That's when I decided it would be best to get checked out._

 _"_ _Hi, Ms. Steele. How are you feeling today?" A doctor comes in and asks._

 _"_ _I'm okay, I guess. Just really tired."_

 _"_ _Have you had any other symptoms?"_

 _"_ _Symptoms like..?" I already took a long lunch break and I just want this to be over so I can get back to work. Nothing says 'fire the new girl' more than showing up late._

 _"_ _You mentioned tiredness. Have you felt any dizziness, bruising, weakness, headaches, fever?"_

 _'_ _Well, I'm clumsy so bruising isn't anything new. But other than that.. no. Why?"_

 _"_ _I've looked over your file and I consulted with another doctor. Why don't we go to an office?" She asks neutrally._

 _"_ _Sure." I hop of the exam able where I was sitting and follow her to an office at the end of the hall. There is a woman already at a round table_

 _"_ _Hello, Ms. Steele-"_

 _"_ _Ana please."_

 _"_ _Alright, Ana. My Name is Doctor Emily Hamburg. Last week you came in and they did some tests and blood work. Your results came up abnormally so they consulted me." she pauses "I'm an oncologist." she pauses again. "I specialize in treating people with cancer."_

 _"_ _O- okay. And what does that have to do with me?"_

 _"_ _We ran a CBC, or complete blood count. It basically tells us the kinds of cells you have and what is in the blood that's running through your system.. We found an abnormal amounts of immature cells, or blasts, in your blood which is an indicator of leukemia. We ran the test several times and I'm sorry to say this Ana, but you have cancer."_

 ** _End of Flashback_**

* * *

 **Christian POV**

I've been in the room for about five minutes already and Ana hasn't even noticed me.

"Hey." I say stepping in front of her. She breaks out of what ever daze she was in and looks up at me. "What were you thinking about? You were in your own little world there for a minute." I ask after giving her a light peck on the lips.

"Sorry." She blushes. "How long have you been here?"

"Only a few minutes."

"Oh. I was thinking about when I was first diagnosed. It feels like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time."

"Tell me about it?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes. We admittedly don't know much about one another but I plan to learn everything about you."

"Yeah, we really don't. Well, I wasn't feeling well…"

As she's telling me this story I try to imagine what it must have felt like to go through that at all let alone.. well.. alone. She kept her secret for nearly two weeks until she tells me she called her dad. That same week was the week I showed up and other than Taylor and Gail who don't know any of the details, she's still hiding it from everyone. Telling her friend Kate and my parents will probably be the hardest. Ana told me she has been talking to Kate more over the past few weeks and she is dying to 'meet up'. Then my family, oh boy. My parents aren't going to be furious and my sibling probably won't even believe me. Just then the though occurs to me that I don't know if Ana has any siblings.. and where her mother is. I don't think we've ever talked about her family. I guess I just assumed.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Well that was random." she says.

"Yeah, I guess but I realized I don't know any of your family except Ray."

"Ray's the only real family I have even though he's my adoptive dad."

"You're adopted?"

"Yeah. My mom gave me up when she had me and Ray adopted me."

"She gave you up?" I don't mean to be repetitive but I can't imagine a mother giving up their child. Then again, if Ella would have given me up, how much different would I have been?

"Yeah.. you know what the crazy part is though? I found her when I was a teenager, right before I went off to college. She married my bio dad and has a few kids. The oldest is just a few years younger than me." she says sadly.

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks.. I talked to her one day when she was alone. All she said was that she wasn't ready but later she was and now she has the family she wanted. She basically told me she doesn't want me to mess up what she has now. That was the one and only time I ever talked to her."

Wow. I don't even know what else I could possibly say other than that. "You already know I 'm adopted. I was adopted when I was four. My mom died."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks. It's more complicated than that and a long story."

"Will you tell me one day?"

"Of course."

* * *

 **Doctor Hamburg POV**

I walk in to room 513. My patient Anastasia has been one of the toughest people I have treated in all my years of oncology work even if she doesn't believe it herself.

As a doctor, you are trained to not get too attached to your patients especially in my line of work but it was a futile effort.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Grey."

They both turn my way once they realize I was here. I hope I didn't interrupt anything. I find the rolling 'doctors seat' and move it to where I am across from them before sitting down.

"Hi Doctor Hamburg, my dad is on the line." She points to her phone that is now on the bed

"I got your results from your biopsy back today." Ana bites her lip anxiously and I see Christian squeeze her hand. "They're good. Really good in fact. Your number of blasts are back below the acceptable 5% mark which essentially means that you're officially in remission."

At first Ana's face perks up but then her smile wavers. "What are my chances?"

I knew this was going to be coming from her but I hoped that she would have taken a little more time to enjoy the news. "There's no way of knowing for sure. We will continue to monitor you every week while you go through consolidation."

"Consolidation?" Christian interjects.

"Yes, although she is in remission we will still be giving her a smaller round of chemo each week for a few months to make sure that the cancer stays away. Sadly, right now remission doesn't mean a cure." I answer before continuing my earlier train of thought. "Right now, I would say you are at average risk of a relapse."

"So 60%." Christian slumps back in his chair after hearing the percentage out loud.

"Yes, but as I have said before, each person is different. You are young and otherwise healthy so it could be different for you. However, in the case that you do relapse, I have put you on the bone marrow transplant registry. You didn't respond well to your first round of chemo and if a relapse occurs, we want to be able to control it as quickly as possible. For now, I want you to focus on what you're going to do when you get out of here. We will go through your exit therapy and counseling sessions over the next few days and I will be releasing you on Friday." I smile at the last part and so does Ana.

"Friday? Wow! That's so soon."

"Well I think you've been in here long enough, don't you."

"Oh! Of course, it's just.. thank you."

"You don't need to thank me you did all the work. I'll be by in the morning with a comprehensive plan for you and we can start the process of getting you out of here." I say before getting up and making my leave.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

 _60%. 60%._ Remission isn't a cure. There's a 60% chance that my Ana will have to go through this all again and a 60% chance that I could still lose her.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring the mood down but I wanted to know. This is still good news, remember? _Positive thinking._ "

"You're right.. I'm just.."

"Scared?"

 _Hell yeah._ "Yes."

"Me too. But just like you said when we got married, I still want to live and enjoy as much of whatever time we have with you." She smiles up at me and gets up to get on my lap. "But this time.. we'll be able to do it outside of these dreaded walls." She kisses me firmly.

"I want that too." I kiss her again. Her hands go to my hair and she refuses to break the kiss. We pull apart panting and smiling at each other.

We just sit there staring at each other happy in yet another bubble. "So, how is this going to work?" She asks.

"What? Us? I though we alre-" I start getting a little agitated before she cuts in.

"No, I mean.. I don't know.. Things like am I going to live with you and when are we going to tell your family? Are you changing your work schedule back.. I don't know. Stuff like that." She says shyly. I feel kind of sad and disappointed in myself that it seems she though more in to out actual relationship than I have previously. "We sort of talked about it this weekend but not in debt."

"Of course you will live with me. I… I…"

"What is it?" Ana asks.

After my talk with Flynn last night that ultimately brought up my need for controlling everything and then somehow turned in to how i used to control submissives in my playroom I can't get this guilty/ horrible feeling out of me.

Guilty because Ana doesn't know anything about my past lifestyle and horrible because in a few days she will be in the same place as those faceless women. But we all have pasts and we already had a deep talk a few days ago. Should I just go with this new information flow or wait until i comes up..? _I'll wait._ But I still don't want Ana to be tainted by that apartment.

"I was thinking. You know Escala doesn't really feel right as a place for us to first live as a married couple."

"Why not?"

Is this it 'coming up'? _Nah._ "I.. well.. it was kind of a bachelor pad type place. It was sterile and is full of bad memories. And to be honest with you, it never really felt like a home. I want our first place to be home."

"So.. what do you suggest? We live in a hotel or something?" she asks with a borrowed brow.

"That's not a bad idea. Or we can rent out a house like we did in California. I'm sure there are some like that in Bellevue or maybe Mercer Island. It'll just be until we find some place to really call home that we can buy together. Trust me a hotel might feel a little more 'homey' than my place."

"Hmmm.." She seems to be thinking really hard over this and it's making me quite nervous. "Show me. Do you have any pictures?"

"I can ask Gail to take some." I quickly fire off a text message to Gail.

"Okay. I like the fact that you thought about me Christian and I won't say that I'm completely comfortable knowing that that's where other women have been but at the same time, it's safe and we don't have to shell out any more money over it."

"But we have the money."

"Yes, we do. And I'm grateful but that doesn't mean we should just waste it. It's only temporary right?"

"You're right I suppose. I'll work it out."

"Thank you. Now what's the address? I think I'm just going to order my clothes online and have them delivered. I already ordered my outfit for leaving out of here."

"1920 4th Ave. Penthouse." Just then Gail texts me the pictures she took of Escala and I show them to Ana.

"Fancy." she wiggle her eyebrows playfully.

"Yes, it is. But I have some ideas. Is it okay if I eat out for dinner but spend the night here?"

"Yeah, that's fine with me. What are your plans?"

"Hopefully I can catch up with Elliot."

"How is he?"

"He's doing well last I checked."

"I'm really glad that you're connecting with your family more. I can't wait to see them again!" She bounces excitedly.

"You will on Sunday. Still want to have them over?"

"Of course, I already kinda picked out what I'm going to make!" she smiles shyly.

"You know you don't have to do that."

"Yes, because you have Gail, blah, blah. I want to do this, okay?" She asks with a slight pout. We've had this same conversation multiple times in the past two days.

"Okay. I won't bring it up again. Let me call Elliot to see if he's available."

"Put it on speaker!"

"Why?"

"So I can hear it.. duh.." She states very seriously and as if it's the most natural thing in the world. I'm sure that my facial expression is a less than pleasant one because I think she's serious until she bursts out laughing. "I just want to hear the conversation. From what you tell me, I bet you a kiss that he will suggest going to a strip club or something like that."

"Deal." I say getting my phone out my pocket and dialing his number. I don't really care as long as I get a kiss.

"Christian?" He answers.

"Who else would it be?"

"I don't know. I know you've been coming around more but you never call on a weekday."

Ana gives me a pointed stare with her eyebrows up. "I guess I should do that more than." I answer and Ana nods her head happy with my response. "Anyway, are you busy? I was wondering if we could go out tonight?"

"Wait. Let me get this straight. Not only are you calling on a weekday but you want to go out. Like hang out?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm gonna push my luck here. Can we go to a stripper joint?"

Ana does a cute little fist bump and blow up.

"Absolutely not. Meet me at the Mile High in two hours?"

"I'll take what I can get. I'll see you there." He hangs up.

"I knew it!" Ana smiles. I go over sit on her bed and grab her head with both of my hands and kiss her with all I have leaving us both breathless. When I pull apart she has a content smile on her face and her eyes are still closed.

"So what else should we talk about before I go?"

"Hmm..? Uhh…"

I chuckle at her reaction.

"You can't just expect me to form a thought after a kiss like that. Give me a second." she chuckles and flushes.

"So what are you going to see Elliot about?"

"It's a surprise."

She squints her eyes trying to assess me.

"Okay, well while your out coordinating your surprises I'm gonna shop some. I left most of my clothes in the storage unit and I doubt I'll have enough energy to get them let alone go through them and I don't think they'll fit anymore either. Maybe I'll just donate them."

"I can arrange that."

"Thank you. So what's the address?" she asks getting and opening up her laptop, from the bedside stand.

"I can have Caroline pick them for you."

"Who?"

"Caroline Acton she's a-"

"Worker at Neiman Marcus. Yeah.. I know her but what does she have to do with us?"

"She's my personal shopper. I can just order a wardrobe for you.. Wait, how do you know her?"

"She helped me pick out my outfit for the gala. Small world huh?"

"Yeah. If you want to use her, you can just call she has all my details or you can use my card." I hand her my black Amex. "I'm going to brief the legal team tomorrow and then you will have some cards with your name on it as well." She looks at the card speculatively before answering.

"That's sweet but I really don't need your money Christian."

"Ana, just take the card. Spend however much you want."

"Christian, really I don't need your money. I have my own."

"I understand that but I am your husband and I want to pay for you."

"Honey, I have millions of dollars in my bank account. I can afford my own shopping spree."

That stumps me. _Millions?_ "You're a millionaire?"

"I guess. I don't really like to use the money because I didn't earn it. When my dad finally retired and opened his company back at home, after a while, things started to really pick up. He puts money in my account every month but I only touched it when I needed it."

"Okay.. I wasn't expecting that. But we both know you don't need to use that money now either. I know you and you could buy all you want and still not even make a dent in my account." This just goes to show how much we really are like strangers.

"Can we compromise? I'll get some things from Caroline and order some things online on my own?"

I think it over. I decide that this is probably the best this will get right now. I purse my lips before agreeing. Deep down I know that this will be an ongoing.. _conversation_ between us and for now I will concede and figure out a way to squash this later. She gives me a cheerful hug and kiss before telling me to have fun tonight.

* * *

Elliot and I are sitting at the table looking over the menu. He already has a beer as he was here before me and I just got finished ordering a gin and tonic. Just when I'm about to tell Elliot what I'm ordering when I hear her.

"Christian! Elliot! Is that you?" She asks squinting her eyes as if she doesn't already know it's us. I look at Elliot who is just scowling at her.

She comes over to give me a hug. "Mia, how are you? What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know, I was just in the area and wanted to grab a bite. What are the odds you two would be here?" she says pulling an empty chair from a nearby table and sitting down.

"Really? Because I remember saying something about coming here earlier so I'm sure you knew we were here." Elliot teases but at the same time I hear a hint of annoyance or disappointment in his voice.

Mia drops her act. "Well it's not fair. You never ask me out to dinner."

"Mia, this is more of a business dinner."

"Oh." Elliot's face falls.

"But I could really use both of your help. I guess it is more personal than business." I say trying to salvage this night. I really hate to see either one of them upset let alone both of them; they are my family.

At that time the waiter comes back with my drink and takes our food orders.

"So what can we help with?" asks eagerly.

"Well, Elliot I need you to help with renovations and Mia you can help with the interior design."

They both nod their heads understanding their tasks. Elliot jumps in to business mode.

"Time frame? Location? Since this is personal I'm assuming that there isn't a budget?"

"Yes, you are correct there is no budget as I own the property." I don't give either of them any specific information yet because I want to make sure what I want to do can be done. "I want to add a library complete with floor to ceiling book shelves a work station and resting area. Then, there I want to add a gym complete with a sauna and massage table. This is where you can help Mia. I have no idea of what spa's and things are like so I want your guidance in that room. How long do you think just those two rooms will take?" I contemplate asking him about the chair lift for the stairs but hold off because that might give too much away.

"Honestly, it depends on the place and if we have the right paperwork or permits. I assume you want it to be fast? I'm not working on anything big for the next few weeks."

I see Mia looking between the two of us in awe. I think this may be the first time she has seen either of us talk business let alone with each other.

"What if I told you I need you to do it by Friday morning and at Escala." I already had Taylor make sure that the playroom would be dismantled by the time I get up for work in the morning so when Elliot comes in, he shouldn't have any problems.

I can practically see Elliot going over a game plan in his mind until it seems that he and Mia come to a conclusion at the same time. "Wait, you're remodeling you apartment?" Mia is the first to ask.

"Woah, I never thought I would see the day. By Friday morning you say?"

"Yes. If you can't do it we can do it at a later time or maybe cut down on some things."

"No no no. I doubt I'll ever get this chance again. I can do it. Mia, I'll give you a list of things, can you order them for me?" He asks.

"Of course!" she shrieks happy to be a part of this. "What colors do you want? And what spa services? Oh! This is going to be so fun!"

"Mia." I try to calm her down a bit. "I don't know what colors I want. Nothing bright though, soft colors and no white.. Actually, I want to paint a couple of the rooms."

"You can pick up some samples tonight and let me know tomorrow." Elliot suggests.

"Yeah, I like that idea." I smile. This way maybe Ana can help pick out the colors.

"So.. what made you wanna change the place up a bit? I mean you've lived there for almost five years."

"Uh.. I don't know how to explain it. You'll see on Sunday."

"Sunday? What's happening Sunday?"

Shit, I didn't realize I said that. I haven't even asked mom if it was okay yet. "I have to confirm a few things first." I say vaguely. Thankfully I'm saved by the waiter coming back with our food and besides one final knowing glance between them, dinner goes by without a hitch and I actually really enjoy myself despite being away from Ana for the night.

* * *

 **Tuesday August 10**

* * *

 **Still Christian POV**

"Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman." I announce coming in to the board room in which my legal team is waiting. They all nod in response. "I suppose you all are wondering what this meeting is about. Be reminded that what I am about to tell you is covered under the NDA you signed for this company." I shoot each and every person a glare to let them know how serious I am before I continue, "A little over one month ago, I married the love of my life, a certain Anastasia Rose Steele. At the time, she was undergoing treatment for a sickness and is about to be released this weekend." I pause letting what I just told them sink in. "At this time, I want to add the new Mrs. Anastasia _Grey_ to each and every one of my accounts, business and financial, with no limits. There was no prenup and there will be no barriers between us. As of right this second, Mrs. Grey owns half of everything that I own."

"Mr. Grey with all do respect sir, I don't think that is such a good-" Someone starts to speak.

"I don't pay you to think for me. I pay for you to make my thoughts happen. By the time I come in in Thursday, I want it all done. I also want a set of all my bank cards with her name on it. I will forward you any necessary information immediately when requested. And Perkins, consider this your first and last warning." I state before storming out of the room. How dare he question me. Still, the old me would have fired him on the spot, I guess Anastasia's goodness is rubbing off on me. That is his one and only warning though.

I get back to my office and tell Andrea to call Rebecca Miller my head of PR immediately to my office. I was going to do this sometime after lunch but seeing as the meeting with legal was a bust I mine as well get this over with so I can take the rest of the day. Hopefully this meeting is better than the last or I _will_ be looking for a new head of PR. I admit I feel kind of bad telling these other people with no real connection to me, other than the fact that they work for me, before telling my family but I think it's for the best and they will know in a few days time anyway.

Before I have time to analyze the situation any more, a nervous Mrs. Miller walks in to the room.

"No need to be nervous Mrs. Miller, please take a seat."

"Sorry, Mr. Grey it's just you've never called me in to your office before."

"Oh. I didn't realize.. Anyway, I called you in to my office on an extremely personal situation that will no doubt be affecting your office sooner than later."

She visibly relaxes before straightening up and setting up her Microsoft Surface, ready for business. "Of course, anything _personal_ about you is always a 'big hit'."

"Exactly. And exactly why I want to hash out and get as much of this covered ahead of time. About a month ago, I got married in secret."

"Okay.. I can see how this is going to be a problem. Are you dissolving the marriage?"

 _Deep calming breath._ "No, Mrs. Miller. Now if you would let me finish. My wife was undergoing treatment and will be released this weekend. We do not plan to be out and about quite yet but we will also not be hiding. Our marriage has been kept secret for personal reasons. That is the only answer I will give you to, to that possible question at this moment and it is the answer you will give to anyone else. I am very much so in love with my Wife and there has not and will never be any talk of desolation or divorce as long as I can help it. I need you to generate a list of questions that might come up so we can have pre-set answers. Any bad talk about her or our marriage is to be squashed immediately. I know how ruthless these people can become just to get a story. You also need to prepare a press release for when the time comes. I will approve it and you will hold it until I tell you to release it. Any questions?"

"No, sir."

"Good."

"I would like to offer my apologies. I have no excuse for my poor manners or assumptions. And I would like to offer my congratulations."

"Thank you Mrs. Miller. You can use those who you deem capable to help you and please be reminded that the NDA you and other members of the staff signed covers this news. I would like this, or at least the basics, to be completed by the start of business Thursday. I will be back to work on Monday in which you can meet my wife."

"I look forward to it. I will get right on it." And with that she leaves my office. Finally, for the first time, I feel somewhat in control of this situation that I have with Ana.

When it comes to being sick there's not much to control and that's why I hate sickness, I try my best to stay fit and eat healthy but when it comes to something like this, it doesn't really matter.. Inside those hospital walls, I control nothing. Unless you count the millions I donate to certain areas of the hospital or the specialized meals that Ana gets thanks to Gail. In the walls of GEH, I can exercise my control freely and hopefully in doing so control Ana. _Wait, no._ Not control Ana but the _situation?_ Oh, fuck. I need to go see Flynn again.

* * *

 **Thursday Morning August 12**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

These past few days when Christian hasn't been here have all been about my exit counseling and today Dr. Hamburg says she has a little surprise for me. So here we are walking through one of the other floors dedicated to oncology. As I look around I see that there are a lot of kids here and realize this must be the children's ward. _Why did she bring me here?_

"Ana, I want you to meet someone." She says to me. "Joanna!" she calls one of the girls who was playing dolls in the play area. She comes skipping over to us, her curly hair bouncing up and down. As she gets closer it dawns on me and I have to take a deep breath to control my emotions.

"Hi!" she says as she comes over to us.

"Hi, Joanna, this is Anastasia."

Joanna waves at me and I wave back. Dr. Hamburg looks at me before bending down to Joanna's level and saying something that I can't hear but Joanna looks up at me and smiles.

"This is your hair?" she asks me while touching her wig.

"Yes, it was but I think it looks much better on you."

She comes and hugs my legs. I put my hand on her head to reciprocate as best I can being so much taller than her. I wonder how old she is.

"I'll let you two talk. When your ready to leave Ana, just let a nurse know." I nod to her.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask her once she lets go of my hand.

"I don't know." she shrugs her shoulders. "I'm a little tired so can we just talk. I want to know more about you."

"Sure." I say gratefully. The walk here kind of wore me out a little, especially since we took the steps.

"Cool, we can go to my room!" She says happily and drags me down to her room. The walls are covered in pictures and get well soon cards. She even has a few dozen paper roses where the window is. There is a beautiful pink quilt on top of the bed.

"My mommy made me that. Isn't it pretty?"

"Yeah, it really is."

"It keeps me safe at night or when my parents aren't here during the day. At first they were here all the time but then they had to go back to work." she says sadly.

"I'm sorry." I don't really know what else to say.

"It's okay. The doctors and nurses here are really nice and I made some friends." I smile at her.

We sit in silence for a while.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asks nervously.

"Of course."

"Are you sick too?"

That is not what I was expecting. "Wow, how old are you?" I laugh nervously.

"I'm six and a half."

"Well, I'm 23 and yes, I'm sick too. That's why I cut my hair."

"Thanks again. It's really pretty. Oh! When your hair grows back in then we'll be like twins." We both laugh.

"Hi." A middle aged woman comes in the door. "Who is this?" she asks looking at me.

"Mommy!" Joanna rushes over and hugs who I now know is her mother. "This is my new friend Anastasia."

"Hi. And please call me Ana. I'm staying in another part of the ward." I say. It's weird to just say 'Hi, I have cancer' but I think she gets it.

"Hello, I'm Elizabeth, Joanna's mom." she shakes my hand. "I just came over to eat lunch with my favorite girl." She smiles and picks up Joanna.

"I'll leave you two to it." I walk toward the door.

"Will you come back another time Ana?" Joanna asks me right before I reach the threshold.

"Well, I'm actually leaving tomorrow morning." her face falls. "But," I say quickly, "If it's okay with your mom, I'll come and visit you sometimes." I look to Elizabeth. I write down my phone number and email and give it to Elizabeth before leaving. I can imagine being a parent having some stranger sit in with your child must be weird but in the short time we were together, I felt a connection to her.

* * *

 **Thursday Night August 12**

* * *

"You get out of here tomorrow. Excited?" Christian asks while packing up the last of my belongings.

"Uhh.. yes and no." I frown.

"Really? Why both?" Christian asks sitting down in front of me and taking my hands in his.

"To put it shortly, I'm scared."

"Of..?"

"Everything. I'm still scared for my life and now I probably always will be. I'm scared of what people will think not only about us but when they see me. Will they thing, 'oh wow, look at that girl with the scarf on her head. It's hot out, she must be sick'. And your parents and family. The media… Everything. I'm scared of what could happen to us now that we will have a life outside of the hospital. I know you're not the way you are with me with other people. I've seen how you ferociously type when you're working like you want to strangle the person you're talking to and things like that. But at the same time, I'm excited to finally get out of this prison these people call a hospital and live. Like actually live. Before I always played everything safe but I am going to live and enjoy life when I get out of here."

 **Christian POV**

Dammit. This isn't going to be easy with the amount of security she will no doubt need for some time.

"Ana, I know you want to do all that and I would love for you to be able to but security will be tight for a while once people find out."

"I know." she says after a long sigh and deep breath. "And I know big bad CEO loves to control everything and I won't say I'm completely okay with security but as long as I'm informed, I think we'll be okay."

"Why aren't you okay with security?" That notion doesn't make any sense to me; security means safety and safety is important to everyone.

"I've had some issues before. My dad would have people "covertly" follow me around and like track my every movement but it was just creepy and during my freshman year of college it turned in to a big argument between us." she pauses. "So please just include me in things like that so I don't feel like that again."

Now that she has explained herself, I can definitely see her reasoning. "Okay I will." she smiles. "That being said, we will be leaving really early tomorrow to try and avoid any paps that may be lurking. I sort of.. uh.." I scratch the back of my head. "Already hired someone to be your CPO. I worked that out with your dad and he recommended him." I pause to look for her reaction but she just nods her head. "So he and Taylor will be our escorts leaving and Carter, who stays in the apartment when no one is there will be waiting with your dad. Speaking of, he should be landing soon."

"Okay.. Thank you for telling me. I can't wait to meet them all. Wait, what do you mean landing?"

"I had someone get the helicopter and go pick him up."

"You have a helicopter?" she asks surprised.

"Yes, I do. And there's a helipad on top of Escala." I state proudly. It took a lot of convincing to allow the building owners and air safety authorities to allow me to have it.

"Boys and their toys." She jokes.

"You're not one to talk. Why are there five outfits out for just one day." I retort back.

"I can't decide. Help me. This will be the first time I'll be in regular clothes since the day I came in here. I want to look nice." She gives me the full pouty face.

"You always look beautiful baby." I kiss her poked out lip.

"Thanks." She blushes and looks down. "Now help me."

 **Christian POV**

I get to Escala to find Gail up and moving around. It's late and she usually isn't up now, or at least not in this part of the apartment, so it is strange to see.

"Gail, what are you still doing up?" She jumps a little obviously not expecting someone else to be in the room with her.

"Oh.. Mr. Grey you scared me. I'm just going over everything.. you know, making sure it's clean and ready for Mrs. Grey's arrival tomorrow." I like the sound of that. _Mrs. Grey_. I can't wait to hear it from everyone.

"Gail, you've worked hard all this past week and this place is even more spotless than usual. Thank you but you need to go to bed."

"Are you sure? I just want to go over everything one more time. No germs will be in this apartment." She states determined.

"I'm sure they won't. Jason!" I call knowing he will be around here somewhere.

"Sir." he says as usual.

"Please take Mrs. Jones to bed.. to get some sleep." I correct after realizing how that might have sounded. It could even be classified as a joke.. _me_ a jokester? "I'm just grabbing some clothes for Ana and then I'm heading back to the hospital. I will see you both in the morning."

* * *

 **Early Friday Morning August 13**

* * *

 **Anastasia POV**

"I'll see you next week?"

"I'll be here.. but I'm not staying." I say joking a little but mostly serious. These past few months have solidified my hate for hospital stays.

We step out of the hospital. I close my eyes and breath in the fresh air.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I say getting a little choked up. "It's just.. there were many times I never thought I would never get out of that place and that room is where I would take my last breath but now I'm here.. and the fresh air smells amazing." I chuckle an cry at the same time.

He smiles empathetically at me. "Do you want to walk a bit or go home?"

"Let's go home."

* * *

We pull up to one of the various parking spots in the underground garage that Christian tells me he owns. _What have I gotten myself in to?_

"We're here." he looks at me with a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

"Yeah.." I say trying to take it all in. I'm out of the hospital, in the car (that's being driven by security) with my husband in one of the various parking bays he owns and about to go to the new place I will call home.

Christian must sense my anxiety because he holds my hand and squeezes reassuringly. I give him a small nod and he signals for Taylor to open the doors.

We walk hand and hand to the elevator while Taylor unloads my bags. We step in to the elevator and I look back but it seems Taylor has disappeared.

"Staff elevators.." Christian states plainly.

"Oh.." Right he has staff.. well _we_ have staff. I nod and step back in to the elevator to allow the doors to close. This might take some serious getting used to.

* * *

 **Fin.**

 **Please review, comment, ask questions, etc.**

 **And let me know if I skipped anything or left any loose ends!**

 **Thanks for sticking with me through this journey.**


	30. Final Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

 **I want to take the time out to thank each and every one of you for sticking with me through this story. (Even those of you who have been rude.)** **I am going to take this time to shout out some of the people who have been a constant presence and have helped me through this journey:**

 **Karen773**

 **Vamomoftwins**

 **Donibar**

 **motherbeatrice**

 **Christian618**

 **Winless**

 **smills**

 **perfectdark8523**

 **MDF1026**

 **MsPurchase**

 **ncbwater**

 **Reds 77**

 **iamkaren10**

 **Leibeezer**

 **juliana alicia miller**

 **ss711ssmith**

 **tiguesbunnies**

 **farrahbarrett**

 **Mr Darcy Fan**

 **Jeangb**

* * *

 **Also…**

 **You didn't think I would just leave you guys hanging like that did you? There is a sequel!**

 **I'm sorry for those of you who may have been confused by some changes that happened to the story. So for clarification:**

 **1\. Christian now knows all of Ana's "secrets" but Ana doesn't know about his previous BDSM lifestyle.**

 **2\. Ana's only family is Ray.**

 **3\. No, the family does not know about Ana. Kate doesn't know either.**

 **4\. Wanda is still in Ana's life. (Although I haven't specifically wrote about her.)**

 **If anything is still confusing anyone feel free to review or PM me so I can hopefully help you out.**

 **Part Two is titled "Hometown Glory" and the first chapter has been posted. I have a very busy schedule right now but I hope to update at least once a week even if it's just a few thousand words. I am looking for a beta for this story (and my others) so any volunteers would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure how beta's work but I'm willing to try!**

 **Much love!**

 **-Ari**


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